Target // dairy before bed = no bueno

Part 1: {Target}

So, after my shittay day yesterday, we went to Target last night and I bought these items:

1 - elf facial whip  (compare to Benefit's High Beam - I've never tried High Beam, but anyhoo, this elf goodness was $1, not $24)

2 - elf mineral primer (compare to Bare Escentuals primer - again, this is $6 not $22)

 I will let y'all know how these work out, k?

3 - Also, I bought this: (totally "ineffective", but tryin to lay off the caffeine train, frands. Not good for all the ridiculous people/shiz in my life that cause me STRESS.)

Part 2: {dairy before bed = no bueno}

1 - The other night, I ate some Greek yogurt right before bed. 

Y'all - holy shizzam. Madness ensued. It was like I was in a movie all night. Not a good movie. It started off with Andrew beein like 40 lbs. heavier, wearin a robe and some pink sweatpants on the side of the streets ... reminded me of Old School.

Yikes. Then he got hot and wanted to take the pink sweatpants off. In the middle of the street.

Other portions of this never ending dream included the cute pharmacist from CVS at my house. Love her and all. I mean, she is SO HELPFUL all the time. But - she was in my bedroom. With my husband. Say what? I gouged her in the forehead with a hard plastic tube of lip gloss.

Then - we were at the endocrinologist, where Anj was gonna get his A1c checked too. But it was gonna cost $600. And I was like, nosir. And the nurse kept smiling and she was just gonna do it anyway, and I was like, "Look, b*&^%, clearly you got some S*&^ disconnected. You can draw blood from his vein all you want, but I ain't payin you no $600. Period."  

(Anj is still chunkalicious and half clothed in his robe during allllll of this.)

Continuing on ... while we were waiting to be called back by the doctor, there was a Good Will conveniently connected to the lobby. Sooo ... we were browsing through 80's junk. Found one cowboy boot and was pissed because I couldn't find the matching one. 

2 - Clearly, I don't learn from mistakes, so last night, I ate a big arse bowl of yogurt again before bed. 

Dreamed I was strapped to the bottom of the airplane ... and I had secured my own safety belts, and we were flying over the ocean, and I'm just prayin I don't fall off and die. Whaaaat??

Suddenly, we were taking a little pit stop or somethin, and now I am inside the plane, which was barely glued together, and all these people were super under the influence and laughing about everything and I was like, "For God's sake. We gone die!" 

I don't even remember the rest. 

Thankfully.

Happy Friday shugs!

Eff you, diabeetus. Thanks for comin out.

As I sit here trying to type through the blur of my tears, I don't know if I will publish this one or not. Usually, I'm pretty good, I block out statistics, like the fact that diabetes kills more people a year than breast cancer and AIDS combined. Or that 2 out of 3 diabetics will die from heart disease or stroke. I try not to think too hard when I read posts like this, where the reality hits that diabetics have more miscarriages, and still births. And the cost of "living" with this shit? Ha. All week, I've been waking up to treat yet another low, and I can't go back to sleep because I can't stop thinking about whether my doctor can convince my insurance company to pay for my damn strips. And if she can convince them, how fast? Because I only have 3 bottles left. Panic. BECAUSE THEY THINK I CHECK MY BLOOD TOO OFTEN! I could strangle someone! PS - Obama, so far your magical little plan ain't done very much for me, shug. But I know you're not worried because you make 6 figures a year and don't have these concerns.

But wait - I try to be optimistic. I try to keep telling myself, "it" won't happen to me, because I try. "It" being dying early, not having a healthy pregnancy, or kids at all, or having my husband monitor me 24-7 like an invalid because I can't tell anymore if my blood sugar is low or not, feeling like I'm 75 when I'm 50. Or maybe I won't be able to see, or maybe I'll be missing a leg, or have kidney failure. SCREW YOU DIABETES!! I try hard everyday. I AM A SLAVE TO THIS SHIT. I am not a whiner. And I do the best I can. I have "good control" compared to others. But, I don't do well with being "compared to others". What pisses me off is when I do everything I am supposed to do, and the diabetes cheats. It doesn't hold up its end of the deal. What did I ever do to you, diabeetus? You whore.

So yes, every once in a while, diabetes wins. I can't take one more stressful thought or feeling of not being in control and not being "normal". If I could just have ONE FRIGGIN DAY where I could eat what I want, when I want, and not hear the nagging beeping of being out of control, and thereby thinking about the damage it's doing to my organs. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! And a cure? I wish they would just STFU. They've been saying a cure is right around the corner AT LEAST since 1988. Bullshit. Bite me. And guess what? When they do come up with a cure? HOW MUCH WILL THAT COST? My guess is insurance companies will be reluctant to cover it until it's been out for 10 years. Super.

I was going to go for a walk to ease my stress, because feeling like this CAUSES MY BLOOD SUGARS TO BE OUT OF BALANCE. Even more so depending on what flippin time of the month it is - yay! And - whether or not I eat gluten to eff things up even more, but we won't go there today. Anywayyyyy ... the walk - can't go yet because MY BLOOD IS TOO DAMN LOW. I have to wait. And wait. And wait.

Rant over.

For now. Hopefully the next one won't hit anytime soon. Please say a prayer. Thanks to all who love and support me and listen to me bitch. :/

bubbles - a reflection on baseball

Bubbles - as in butts and gum.

Last night, after a day of driving, napping in my car, driving, and more driving, I arrived home to find my husband watching baseball. I thought to myself, thank God that no matter what time of year, there is some sport on TV to obsessively follow. And, one season begins before another ends, so there is no overlapping. If you are really lucky, there is a Nascar race on, a golf tournament, and a basketball championship game. And, even though you only really pull for one team, you can watch ALL the teams in the nation around the clock so you are always in the know. (I will let you decide if I am being sarcastic or not.)

But - as I lay on the couch, snuggling with my husband watching State play Carolina in baseball on mute, I pondered, and realized that baseball players are all about some attention to detail, and doing the little things that make them feel safe. Makes all the difference in the world, no?

Below is a compilation of said "details" as well as some shit I noticed and was like, "Say what, now? Is this really necessary?"

1) If you are at bat, and not quiiite ready to swing, you can bend over, bounce on your knees a little bit, as though there were a corncob stuck up your ass, and then - suddenly - step out of the batter's box because your batting gloves don't feel quite right. Then, after a proper adjustment, step back into the batter's box and go through your pee pee dance all over again while the camera and the whole crowd are watching you.

2) To be a good baseball player and dedicate the proper amount of attention to your game, you must be chewin and spittin 24-8. Nuts, gum, dip if you are pro. Gross. I wonder - is there a giant bucket of bubble gum in the locker room, or in the dugout? Or sunflower seeds? Do they like the kind that don't have shells, or does that completely defeat the purpose? Because then, if you can't spit the shell out, well hell, you are just a dumbass eatin sunflower seeds, am I right? And who provides them? The coach? The ball park? Or, are the players personally responsible? What happens if there is no gum, and no seeds? Will there be a revolt? Do the coaches cut the players some slack if it is the coaches' fault that the players don't have something to suck and slob on?

3) If you are any type of player who's worth a damn, you are rockin at least one chain. Preferrably two. Giant cross charm? Even better. But - are these status symbols? Are you allowed to come in all blinged out if you are just a freshman? Or you just joined the team?

4) Baseball players and coaches wear some cray, loud, florescent colored, reflective-lense, 80's throwback sunglasses. They look like little aliens. Remind me of my dad - who never wears sunglasses - unless he is at the beach or drivin a boat. Orangey pink lenses just a flashin.

5) A lot of neck poppin. Pitch a ball, crack your neck. Pitch a ball, crack your neck.

6) I'm surprised those pitchers can walk. Have you paid attention to how their legs fly up/out/curve quickly and violently when they release a pitch? Hello, torn groin.

7) I prefer tight, thigh hugging, stirrup pants with some knee socks over those long, ankle-length loose ass pants. Yuck. Baseball is boring as hell. Please at least give us something to look at.

8) All baseball players look better under the mysterious shade of the bill of a baseball cap, no? Take that hat off, ehhh - not so much.

9) What physical exercise/practice exists to create the baseball players' notorious bubble butts? Seriously - this is a real question. How does it happen?

10) Did patting your teammate's ass originate in baseball? Seems to happen pretty frequent like.

yeah, i'm still here

Lord knows, it's been a while, ain't it?

Thank God above for some time off. MY BRAIN IS FRIED Y'ALL. Whew.

Sooo, a couple (random, my favorite!!!) things ...

I don't "get" The Hunger Games. I confess, I just never get on these young adult fiction trains. I read the first Harry Potter because I had to for a class in college. I have never read any of the Twilight books. Soooo, last night I was bored. A friend and I decided to go see The Hunger Games. Then, my brother texted me ... he and his girlfriend were going to go the night before, but didn't because of the whack ass crowds. So, they went last night, AND WAITED IN LINE FOR AN HOUR. What the deuce? No thanks.

Soooo, we stopped by and got my money back (ordered the tix on the phone). Instead, we hit Old Navy, Target, Walmart (yep, sure did), and Marshall's. Then, we decided frozen yogurt sounded mag, so please believe I ate some no sugar added chocolate, and some cake batter with strawberries, bananas and lots of crushed peanuts. We were headin home and started thinkin about how delish some pepperoni pizza sounded. Sooooooo, headed to Pizza Hut at 10:30 for a medium thin-n-crispy ... pepperoni and mushroom on all, onions on half - with some ranch and thousand island for dippin. But - I didn't cheat on my no gluten diet. Just scrape the toppins off:

Here's some recent decisions I've made:

1) I am soooooo glad basketball season is over. Basketball games are so fast paced and STRESSFUL. But - I am proud of the Wolfpack - we had a much better year this year than we've had in the last several. And Lord knows we all love somethin to silence a Carolina fan, am I right?

2) I hate the word "kiddo".

3) Gluten Free brownies are the shiznatti. Taste just the same.

4) Tomorrow is endocrinology appt. and acupuncture appt. I am excited about both. I ALWAYS love going to acupuncture. I hope she can do something with this zit party on my face. And endo - my blood sugar has been cray lately, and I give up trying to figure it out.

5) After getting home at midnight from my tour of the county last night, I woke up at 8:00 ish to eat breakfast. Then I went back to bed. And woke up at 1:20. Probably abnormal for an adult, right?

6) Have a great week!

Hopefully I'll be in touch before another like two weeks.

Need some vintage kitchen goodies?

Then you should holla at Becky, who has a gold mine of kitchen fabulosity in the Commercial Building at the Raleigh Fleamarket.

Look at these salt and pepper shakers ...

CorningWare and Pyrex heaven ...

Bright, colorful, vintage glasses, canisters, utensils and gadgets!

Rolling pins ...

Cookie cutters!

Makes me wanna put on an apron and some lipstick.

Leave a comment below if you'd like more information on how to find Ms. Becky.

PS - Dear PACK - I am SOOOOOOOOO PROUD OF Y'ALL! Way to believe and fight through. Makes my heart smile.

thanks for the little things

Wow.

What a week. I'm past stress and now entered into a state of almost numbness. But - I can say this. Throughout my life, God has never given me an extremely difficult situation without also giving me friends to help me through.  What a blessing.

I'm so very thankful for friends. And for my wonderful husband. Blessings that not everyone has.

After a very stressful day, I just wanted to ride around on back country roads in the warm night air. For as long as I can remember, I've always loved to just ride to relieve stress. As a baby, my mom would drive me around to get me to go to sleep. As a teenager, I rode around with my friends to vent and get things off my mind. It's still one of my favorite things in the world. Especially at night.

These are two songs I've discovered (thanks to Pretty Little Liars) that I am now obsessed with. And they make my drives that much more relaxing. It's all about the little things. :)

Wicked Game, by Gemma Hayes

Don't Leave Quite Yet, by Adam Agin

Have a peaceful and relaxing weekend.
Find something positive to smile about and be thankful for.

it's time for a brain dump

1) my job is about deadlines, soooo, I deleted the "Photo A Day" page. too much pressure.

2) i think we are stuck in a permanent full moon.

3) i had some bomb frozen yogurt this weekend.



4) and i got a new ring from Malaysia from Hubs Davis.



4a) couldn't take the nails. BUT i cut them, didn't bite em off. ;)

5) pretty little liars comes on tonight.

6) i've actually gotten exercise for the last three days in a row. mayjah.

7) my laptop is ready to die. bless its sweet, slow heart.

8) i love Coach Gottfried.



8a) but would not love him as much if he wore shit like this:



9) two more weeks til my break. the countdown is ON.

10) bradford pears are beautiful and stank like SOS pads. (i've taken lots of pretty pics of them on the nikon, but I am too lazy to upload them. sooo, here's one taken w/ my phone, through the window, with the reflection of my face off the glass.



11) today,  i got an ice cold diet mt. dew - in a can. and still, i only drank half of it. accomplishment, say word.

four more days ...........

let's go for a walk

Today, after Anj made us some DELICIOUS omelets, Hubs Davis and I went for a walk to a nearby pond.

Dear Winter, 

It's been real. But, now I'm ready for skirts and flip flops and warm sunshine and not having to thaw my car out every morning. Also, I'm excited to see what's in store. You know I love you though. We'll see you next year, k? Now, go on. You're about to overstay your welcome.

Brody: Carley Sue came to visit ...

And that B is cray.

First, she tried to eat my food, drink my water, beg my humans for food.

Shiiiiiit.

Then everything broke loose :

And I can't even TELL y'all how many times she licked all up in my mouth. Girls don't make sense.

I finally had to escape upstairs. (Carley Sue's mama doesn't allow her upstairs. Thank God.)

I know Carley Sue has a gnarly psycho side. But, sometimes she is aiight.

See? 

Have a good weekend, friends. Watch out for crazies.