some days you just feel defeated

and today is one of those for me.

i try to stay positive with this stupid diabetes, i really do.
but sometimes, i just want to punch it in the throat.

i am so sick and effing tired of guessing what my body is doing.
constantly fluctuating blood sugars.
data. data. data.
coming up with a "plan" for this shit is like trying to catch puddin with a net.
{that's not a "saying", it really is how i feel with trying to control this shit}

i'm ready to say f*** it.

you fix one leak, and you have another one.
DAMN YOU.

and i will shut up now because i know i am very blessed.
it's not perfect, but it's come a long way.
and there are so many others with struggles greater than my own.

if you are someone who gets your pray on, i could use some.
i'm just tired.
tired of analyzing.
tired of checking blood sugars obsessively.
tired of reporting shit to my doctor and not understanding the full picture.

okay, i'm done, now.
thanks for listening, y'all.

i will end with a totally unrelated funny:

Source: littlewhitelion.com via Beth on Pinterest

happy monday.