i mean, honestly, i hate it.
but, i have a really hard time turning it off.
i am tired of thinking about:
what my blood sugar is right now.
is it on the way up?
is it on the way down?
i took insulin an hour ago and still haven't eaten anything because the insulin hasn't kicked in yet - why?
what day of "the month" is it?
am i ovulating?
if i did ovulate, where did the egg go?
should i have had that caffeine?
should i have had that beer?
why are all these things such a big deal now, when back in the day people did these things, not even knowing they were bad, and we seem to have more mental, emotional, and developmental problems in children now?
how do people accidentally get pregnant?
is my analyzation more stressful than caffeine and alcohol?
how come the curl in my hair came back and then left again?
why do some become obsessed with church and then start judging people even more than before they knew as much about Jesus?
how come i used to want to blog all the time, and now, not so much?
do i miss teaching? mehh.
what is going to happen to nita nikon in the long run?
should i trust those people in new york who have her?
why do people choose to spend almost every day of the week with someone who drives them nuts and causes them to cuss?
how come people who can't even stand to be alone with their kids have them, and i don't?
why do i whine so much?
how do other people keep on keepin' on when shit gets hard?
why do i cry every time i go to church (and have done so for years)?
people pansy ass pussies be mean to animals?
why do people like/hate someone because they are or are not a specified race, when in fact, they are biracial?
and on that note, why do people only focus on the details that support their argument, and ignore all the ones that don't?
why do people randomly use apostrophes, like they are optional, or just for decoration?
why do i enjoy ignoring capital letters?
why doesn't my pump have an alarm to let me know when it's completely out of insulin?
some people - men especially, it seems, have the ability to just stop thinking.
i would love to be like that.
it's what God says we should do.
stop analyzing, and instead pray and trust.
i am a lot better than i used to be.
do you analyze?
did you find a cure for it?
how did you turn it off?