But then - some days - you just feel crabby. (Thanks Boeger - I love this word now - use it all the time). Like, if you think/act/be positive for 100 days, then you can have 1 whiny day? That's how I feel right this minute.
* If you are reading this, and you were hoping for some Susie Sunshine today. Sorry - I tied her up, stuffed a sock in her mouth and hid her in the closet. If this frightens you, kindly click the red X at the top right of the screen.
I did not want my blog to become a place to rant/feel sorry for myself/ complain/whine. After all - it clearly says in my "About Me" that I hate whiners. So today, I hate myself.
Today is one of those - I feel fat/gross. My face looks terrible. I need to squeeze my husband. Where the hell am I going to work next year? Why is everything hard and complicated? What am I going to do with my life? What is God trying to teach me right now? Uhhh - Patience/anger management/trust you are probably thinking. You are probably right. Maybe I suck at learning.
And dia-bee-tus, I got a bone to pick with you!: (In the form of a random rant/list)
Dear Sensor - you are so dang loud and noisy ALL THE TIME. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is it so friggin hard for my body to figure out and use the insulin I put into it? Is it not enough for you that I check my blood a million friggin times a day? And count every carbohydrate I put into my mouth? And monitor how many Diet Cokes I drink because I know that the dehydration will jack up my blood sugars? How about walking around looking like a freak of nature with shit plugged in all over my body? And beeping and buzzing and having RUDE INCONSIDERATE people stare like I CAN'T SEE THEM FRIGGIN STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING!
Furthermore, blood sugars, I AM SICK of you telling me when I can work out. When I can eat. I AM SICK of you NOT doing what you are supposed to do, when I am doing my damnedest to hold up my end of the deal! WHAT DO YOU FRIGGIN WANT FROM ME?!?!
Dear Pancreas - who peed in your Corn Flakes???? You are a spoiled brat! And here's what else - you are MOODY!!!!!! One day - you are doing just lovely. The next, my blood's like a roller coaster because YOU ARE A SLACKER WHO DOESN'T DO HER JOB! You SUCK! Do you hear me? I AM SICK of doing everything you ask, and yet, you still crap on me! Pooh on YOU, dia-bee-tus. You have issues!
Next - I am sick of the uncertainty! I need Jesus to send me a text/email/call me ... letting me know how everything in my life is going to pan out. Because I AM NOT PATIENT. I suck! I thought I was patient. But, not patient enough. Doesn't Jesus know that I am a control-freak who always needs to know the plan?
Yes, He does. He wants me to learn that everything ain't about me and my plans, I suppose.
Where is all this madness coming from you ask? I have no idea. But I don't like it any better than you do. GO AWAY PISSY MOOD!
After re-reading what I've written, I want to delete all of this and go back into my positive-thinking-turtle-shell, but I won't.
Just because - it makes me feel better when I read that other people are having a hard day/life too. Then I know that I am not the only one.
If you think I'm nuts and need medication, send me an email. And I will delete it.
Meanwhile - in reality - I KNOW THAT
{One}
GOD DOES KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING.
{Two}
HE WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN ME (OR ANY OF US) ANYTHING WE CAN'T HANDLE.
{Three}
HE DOESN'T WANT US TO LEAN ON OUR UNDERSTANDING - BUT TO TRUST HIM INSTEAD.
{Four}
If you pray for patience - HE WILL TEACH YOU PATIENCE, AND YOU PROLLY AIN'T GONNA LIKE THE LESSON PLAN.
{Five}
WHINING DOESN'T HELP
{Six}
HE'S ALWAYS WORKING, EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SEE IT WHILE HE'S STILL IN THE PROCESS.
On a happier note - today is HUMP DAY.
I (and everyone around me) really hope this rip-the-head-off-a-kitten mood/outlook is gone SOON!
To all of you crazies who love and put up with me anyway - I will keep praying for you too!
Love,
B
3 comments:
I'M SORRY YOU FEEL SO ROTTEN.HANG IN THERE.ANG WILL MAKE IT ALL BETTER.THE LAST FEW WEEKS HAVE BEEN THAT WAY.I THINK WE HAD 3 FULL MOONS THIS MONTH.THE SAP IS RISING IN THE TREES,WHICH MEANS ABOUT THE SAME AS THE FULL MOON ,LOVE YA! HAZ!
Awwww Pookie! I hate you were having a bad day yesterday. Just think you get to be on the road in a few hours, chillin to some itunes, and on the way to see Anj..(with a J :) Notice I am also not writing in all caps LOL You should come up with a name for all those devices you are wearing. If you name your car, you should at least be able to name that thing keeping you alive. I just love you and even though you had a crabby day, it made me feel better cause' I ain't the only one. So.....THANKS! love you shug!
I know your not a whiner, but at least when you do whine, you do it in a hilarious fashion. When life sucks, you just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all sometimes.
And I dont know if this would help you, but cinnamon can be taken as a supplement to help with sugar metabolism. Might be worth checking out if you haven't already.
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