30 November 2012

$*&! R. Kelly says {and does}

I had some bomb Moe's for lunch, and some caffeine.

Y'all know what that meannnns ...

another post in the same day! - one inspired by some old R. Kelly I heard in the car.

Y'all know I love me some rap.
Try as I might to give it up, I lovez it.
Now that I'm old as Methuselah, I don't care so much for some of the super explicit descriptions of various body parts and what all they do.
Why can't they make songs without all that goin on with a bomb ass beat? Is it that hard?
But, really, though. Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics?

I give you some of the craziest shit eva by R. Kelly {the majority of the song was "oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh and ooooooooh and na, na, na, na anyway}

"Half On A Baby"

Oh, na, na, na, na
  Baby yo body, yo body na, na, na, na, na
Oh, na, na, na, na, na, na
Yo body, na na na na

blah, blah, blah ..

Since computer love
Been wantin to set it off

Like a hotel room
I'm checkin' into you
I'm diggin' like a shovel
All the things you do

Take a leap over the broom
That's how you're makin' me feel

blah, blah, blah

 Like a baseball field
Wanna hit a home run
Me and you get together babe
And raise a little one

I mean, what female in her right mind wouldn't wanna jump at a chance like that?!

Here, enjoy the video. Even on mute, it's classic.

Did you watch it?
Lord have mercy.
First of all, where is he? A church? A castle? Is it haunted? Whattup with that owl? {Beware, Tracy.}
What is represented by all the flowing white ...curtains?
Tiny R. Kelly on a big arse couch? Yo no comprendo.
The boxers shot of him walkin up the steps? A teeeeny winkle too much. I am scarred for life. 
And why is he layin out on that balcony in the rain?
And does anybody besides me think it's strange there is no chick in this video?

Bless his heart. 
And here's what else:

They are sellin "moonshine" at the licka sto, y'all!
Apparently, I have been livin under a rock. I mean, I've had moonshine and fruit, but not with a label on it. ;)
 I was askin the little Indian man runnin the store about it, and I told him I'd never seen such, but I know people who make it. And he smiled, and was like, "Yezzzz, but your people make the real stuff. This stuff here is mostly water."
How precious was he?

Alexa, did you blog about this, or am I makin shit up? 

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