04 January 2013

does bloggin' make your tummy hurt?

It's Friday night.
The hubs is gone to watch the Bobcats.
I am here in my hoodie, contemplating picking up a Philadelphia roll. And a California roll. And some edamame.

"The blogging rules" say I shouldn't post twice in a day. And that posting on the weekend is only for losers, because shouldn't I be busier doing something 'real'? "The blogging rules" also say I shouldn't talk so damn much, and I should include more pictures. Oops.

But, I been thinkin' ...

Is there a virus in Blog Land? Seems like I've been reading lots of posts about bloggers being in a 'funk', like my girl at Southern Sass. I mean, I think she is hilarious. But, you know, you feel down on yourself. You aren't as good a writer as someone else. Somebody else has better pictures. Why the hell does so-and-so have 1400 followers? I can't stand to read what they write anyway, etc, etc, etc. I mean, we all hit walls where you are like, "What do I write?" But, people seem gloomy, and beat up, like bloggin' is bullyin' them around. Or, it's so exhausting/overwhelming that they need a break from it, like it's a nagging roommate.

I got to thinking about why I started this. I was basically bored and thought it would be fun because God knows I talk all the time. So, this gives me a place to dump it. But, it became a lot more for me. It became a place to clear my mind. To get it off my chest. To communicate with others and build a sense of community. I think it's okay to say that, "Y'all, here is the shit in my brain today because that's it. That's what I got today." Not everyday is going to be mind blowing. I've been blogging for forever, and I just passed 100 followers. Who cares?

But, sometimes it is hard to be true to yourself. It's tempting to change who you are or how you write to be more like somebody else who is more 'successful'. It's hard to not write for your followers {if they are reading, and not just following as a giveaway requirement or whatever}.  Or to think about your MIL reading, or that lady from church, or what if your boyfriend's crazy ex sees it or that psycho stalker, or who the hell ever. But your blog is for YOU.  I never try to be like other bloggers, but it's hard to read others' posts and not have it saturate your own thinking/way of writing a little bit. I try to post what I want, and then go and read others' posts to avoid that.


Erin at Living in Yellow had this fabtabulous post where she simply went to her readers for their feedback on blogging advice/tips. I thought it was awesome, so here it is. It's worth a read, I think.

One thing I've never wanted was for this blog to feel like a job or a chore or something I've wanted a break from. I've noticed that a lot of the "bigger bloggers" have just went MIA. Have y'all noticed that? The bigger you get, the busier you get, and the more pressure, and the more crazy, mean, anonymous commenters you have to deal with. I've read bloggers who have considered stopping blogging because of the mean, cowardly ass shit that people say. And that's their choice. And I don't see how anyone could blame them if that's what they wanna do. Other bloggers have found success in other endeavors and they don't have time. Others have been made uncomfortable from stalkerish comments. It is a crazy world, y'all.

And, really, I don't even know the point of this post. What is our goal here? To have 8787595 followers? What for? What if you have a ton of followers that never comment? Or 6000 pageviews and not many comments? Are they still "worth" the same?


I also think that you should only "follow" someone whose writing you enjoy. There is nothing more annoying than someone just asking you to follow them. Umm, thanks. I will if I like what you write.


{Time out ... gotta call in my sushi ........}

Some people are awesome writers, but I don't follow them, because I don't want to see pictures of your baby every. single. day. in. every. single. post. Maybe I will be the same way one day {hope not - I want my blog to always be sort of a place to hold on to me in general, not just me as a mother}. This is NOT to knock mom bloggers at all. It is your blog, you should write whatever you want. Just don't bluntly ask somebody to follow you. That is yucky. I personally, find it painful at this point in my life to read about the joys of having a baby. Following shouldn't be a "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" kind of deal. Just write what you wanna write. Some will like it, and tell you so. Some will read it, like it, and never comment. Some will read it, hate it, and just move on, or unfollow you. {Gasp!} Others will read it, hate it, and leave a pussy ass comment about how much you suck. Oh well. Two tears in a bucket.

I have noticed that my follower number is creeping up a little more quickly than usual lately. I was telling my husband about it on our walk last night, and he said, "I thought you didn't care about followers." I said, "Well, I love having followers who comment and interact. I love organic followers that I know are here because apparently they enjoy what I write. I'd rather have 20 followers who interact and let me know they enjoy it (whether through commenting, telling me on Facebook, or in person, or whatever) than 200 that I don't really hear from." So, if you are a new follower, I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU AND TO GET TO KNOW YOU!

I'd rather be "followed" for who I am and by readers who are interested in interaction than have tons of followers that I gained from linking up, giveaways, etc. all. the. time. Again, not to knock these things, it's your blog, you do what you want. I love me a link up, myself. But, I personally, will unfollow a blog that becomes those types of things two and three times a week. I started following in the first place because I like what you write! And if I feel like I don't know YOU and who you are and what you think anymore, then I just have no interest. That's just me.


There are so many of us. And we are all unique. It's not a popularity contest. This is not high school. If you like it, read it, let the writer know you like it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Go on your merry way. It's simple.

PS - if you are new to bloggy world, and you are wondering why no one is responding to your comments, please make sure you go to your profile, and edit it so that "show my email address" is checked. That way, the blogger whose blog you commented on can just reply via email. Just a public service announcement, not tryin' to be your boss. If you like being 'no-reply commenter' then, you go 'head on with it, sister!

Also, a lot of people find comment verification annoying, and they won't comment because of it. Sometimes you have to keep refreshing to be able to read it, and it takes up a lot of time. IF you are doing it because you are afraid of spam, I personally don't really have a big spam problem. They are few and far between and google does a good job of keeping it at a minimum. Just a thought. I know some of you have it for other reasons.

Your blog should be enjoyable!


Okay, I think this is the end of my thoughts on bloggin' right this second. I'm hungry, and I'm goin' to get my grub.


Aleshea said...

After reading this I felt that I should
A) Hand over all my sweet tea
B) Stand and slow clap
C) Snap my fingers dramatically three times in an "s" formation while yellin' preach!

Alas, I cannot do that via the web so I will just leave this comment instead.

lil desiqua said...

Two posts in one day? THE HORROR!
I found myself smiling and nodding in agreement with everything you wrote. I love this post! Also, I am sitting in my sweats about to order some food while the bf plays video games... crazy Friday night here! PPS I think you have the perfect word to picture ratio :)

Southern Sass said...

When I enjoy reading a blog, I love when they post more than once so I feel like if I am taking the time to read it I must have came to the blog for a reason so post away. Haha Aleashea!
This was a great post! Thank you!
In the beginning I followed anyone who started following me, but the longer I blog the more I understand why people do not do that and I learned that in addition to following the people who follow you to be nice and then the blogs you want to follow regardless if they are following you, you will reach 300 quickly and there is actually a limit on how many you can follow I learned this yesterday. I never asked anyone to follow me I just thought that was awkward,I let them know I am following them just because I know I like when people let me know but I don't want them following me if they don't like my shit.

okay long ass comment I am done.

Suze said...

I agree with a lot of things you said here. I hope I never feel like i need a break from blogging. It's a hobby that I really love. Sometimes I suck at it, sometimes I do a post I'm really proud of... I agree that it is sometimes hard to be true to your own voice. it's so easy for me to compare myself, but I have to remember that it's MY blog. Can't worry about everybody else. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Thanks for this honest post that got me thinking a little bit!

Emmett Katherine said...

i do most my writing/blogging/reading on the weekends. oops. I hardly have time (or energy) for it during the week. guess i didn't read the blogger rules! I've found that some of my favourite bloggers have just stopped posting... and when they do it's not the same. it's kind of sad how that happens in blogging.

I HATE when people leave comments asking to follow. I usually go and check out someone's blog if they comment but when they ask, nope. depending on how spammy their post feels and how many links they have to their social media accounts I fight the urge to respond to them and tell them it's poor manners. and following for giveaways. yuck.

like you sometimes I question why i blog, what to write. I started my blog as a 'style' blog but over the past year i find i want to write about other things (like a journal)but often don't because i feel like it's not why people came to my blog in the first place. it's hard because i want to write what i want but also i feel accountable to people who have joined up over the years.

The {Mrs} Adventure of a misplaced Belle said...

I pretty much love your blog, and you're right, I totally feel those pressures. I have 16 followers, and I only have like three people who comment on my stuff!

you're amazing!

and high five for saying it like it is girl!

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

HOLLER, girlfriend. HOLLER and ditto and I love this post.

As that girl sings in Revenge of the Nerds, "so I say i gotta be free (free) so I say I gotta be me (me)." I am just me, blogging. I hope you all like it, but if I'm not your style, that's okay too. Blogging has to feed your soul, not steal it. Did I just go on a Revenge of the Nerds tangent? Sort of.

And thanks for putting the p.s. out there. I always feel bad, because sometimes I think people don't know to reply to comments via email - I didn't when I first started - and I know for sure I do not go back to blogs to check if people responded to my comments. And I want to respond to people who leave comments for me, so when I see noreplyblogger@, I'm like UGH

Amanda @ The Barstows: Our Little House on the {West Texas} Prairie said...

Amen. I'm new to the blogging world and have no clue how I stumbled across your blog but I'm glad I did, I look forward to reading every time you post

Jennifer Achebe said...

Yeah! Agreed. Mom blogs....about that. You can totally notice that ones blogging style has changed when they have a baby or are pregnant
And I cannot seem to find how change my frickin' settings...I''ll have to really look into that!!

The Nutty Brunette said...

This was such a great post! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I too don't like reading "mommy blogs" but I thought that I was being mean not wanting to see their babies pictures everyday. Glad I'm not the only one! Some of them are great but I'm just not at a point in my life where I'm interested in thinking about those things!

I'm so glad I found your blog! I love your writing!