does bloggin' make your tummy hurt?

It's Friday night.

The hubs is gone to watch the Bobcats.

I am here in my hoodie, contemplating picking up a Philadelphia roll. And a California roll. And some edamame.

"The blogging rules" say I shouldn't post twice in a day. And that posting on the weekend is only for losers, because shouldn't I be busier doing something 'real'? "The blogging rules" also say I shouldn't talk so damn much, and I should include more pictures. Oops.

But, I been thinkin' ...

Is there a virus in Blog Land? Seems like I've been reading lots of posts about bloggers being in a 'funk', like my girl at Southern Sass. I mean, I think she is hilarious. But, you know, you feel down on yourself. You aren't as good a writer as someone else. Somebody else has better pictures. Why the hell does so-and-so have 1400 followers? I can't stand to read what they write anyway, etc, etc, etc. I mean, we all hit walls where you are like, "What do I write?" But, people seem gloomy, and beat up, like bloggin' is bullyin' them around. Or, it's so exhausting/overwhelming that they need a break from it, like it's a nagging roommate.

I got to thinking about why I started this. I was basically bored and thought it would be fun because God knows I talk all the time. So, this gives me a place to dump it. But, it became a lot more for me. It became a place to clear my mind. To get it off my chest. To communicate with others and build a sense of community. I think it's okay to say that, "Y'all, here is the shit in my brain today because that's it. That's what I got today." Not everyday is going to be mind blowing. I've been blogging for forever, and I just passed 100 followers. Who cares?

But, sometimes it is hard to be true to yourself. It's tempting to change who you are or how you write to be more like somebody else who is more 'successful'. It's hard to not write for your followers {if they are reading, and not just following as a giveaway requirement or whatever}.  Or to think about your MIL reading, or that lady from church, or what if your boyfriend's crazy ex sees it or that psycho stalker, or who the hell ever. But your blog is for YOU.  I never try to be like other bloggers, but it's hard to read others' posts and not have it saturate your own thinking/way of writing a little bit. I try to post what I want, and then go and read others' posts to avoid that.

Erin at Living in Yellow had this fabtabulous post where she simply went to her readers for their feedback on blogging advice/tips. I thought it was awesome, so here it is. It's worth a read, I think.

One thing I've never wanted was for this blog to feel like a job or a chore or something I've wanted a break from. I've noticed that a lot of the "bigger bloggers" have just went MIA. Have y'all noticed that? The bigger you get, the busier you get, and the more pressure, and the more crazy, mean, anonymous commenters you have to deal with. I've read bloggers who have considered stopping blogging because of the mean, cowardly ass shit that people say. And that's their choice. And I don't see how anyone could blame them if that's what they wanna do. Other bloggers have found success in other endeavors and they don't have time. Others have been made uncomfortable from stalkerish comments. It is a crazy world, y'all.

And, really, I don't even know the point of this post. What is our goal here? To have 8787595 followers? What for? What if you have a ton of followers that never comment? Or 6000 pageviews and not many comments? Are they still "worth" the same?

I also think that you should only "follow" someone whose writing you enjoy. There is nothing more annoying than someone just asking you to follow them. Umm, thanks. I will if I like what you write.

{Time out ... gotta call in my sushi ........}

Some people are awesome writers, but I don't follow them, because I don't want to see pictures of your baby every. single. day. in. every. single. post. Maybe I will be the same way one day {hope not - I want my blog to always be sort of a place to hold on to me in general, not just me as a mother}. This is NOT to knock mom bloggers at all. It is your blog, you should write whatever you want. Just don't bluntly ask somebody to follow you. That is yucky. I personally, find it painful at this point in my life to read about the joys of having a baby. Following shouldn't be a "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" kind of deal. Just write what you wanna write. Some will like it, and tell you so. Some will read it, like it, and never comment. Some will read it, hate it, and just move on, or unfollow you. {Gasp!} Others will read it, hate it, and leave a pussy ass comment about how much you suck. Oh well. Two tears in a bucket.

I have noticed that my follower number is creeping up a little more quickly than usual lately. I was telling my husband about it on our walk last night, and he said, "I thought you didn't care about followers." I said, "Well, I love having followers who comment and interact. I love organic followers that I know are here because apparently they enjoy what I write. I'd rather have 20 followers who interact and let me know they enjoy it (whether through commenting, telling me on Facebook, or in person, or whatever) than 200 that I don't really hear from." So, if you are a new follower, I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU AND TO GET TO KNOW YOU!

I'd rather be "followed" for who I am and by readers who are interested in interaction than have tons of followers that I gained from linking up, giveaways, etc. all. the. time. Again, not to knock these things, it's your blog, you do what you want. I love me a link up, myself. But, I personally, will unfollow a blog that becomes those types of things two and three times a week. I started following in the first place because I like what you write! And if I feel like I don't know YOU and who you are and what you think anymore, then I just have no interest. That's just me.

There are so many of us. And we are all unique. It's not a popularity contest. This is not high school. If you like it, read it, let the writer know you like it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Go on your merry way. It's simple.

PS - if you are new to bloggy world, and you are wondering why no one is responding to your comments, please make sure you go to your profile, and edit it so that "show my email address" is checked. That way, the blogger whose blog you commented on can just reply via email. Just a public service announcement, not tryin' to be your boss. If you like being 'no-reply commenter' then, you go 'head on with it, sister!

Also, a lot of people find comment verification annoying, and they won't comment because of it. Sometimes you have to keep refreshing to be able to read it, and it takes up a lot of time. IF you are doing it because you are afraid of spam, I personally don't really have a big spam problem. They are few and far between and google does a good job of keeping it at a minimum. Just a thought. I know some of you have it for other reasons.

Your blog should be enjoyable!

Okay, I think this is the end of my thoughts on bloggin' right this second. I'm hungry, and I'm goin' to get my grub.

Southern Sassery

Y'all.

1) My house is still a toe up hot mess.

2) This mornin when I was changin my pump site, it bled onto my damn shirt, annnnd 

3) I've gotta do somethin to camouflage this hair so I can go to Michael's to get shiz I need to complete my Christmas decor.

  If any of y'all have any advice about how to wake up and not have your crown showin full blast every friggin mornin, please, do tell!

You might be wonderin why I don't just shower first, thereby fixin hair. 

But, see, I know I'ma get dirty and be sweatin whilst tacklin this mess and decoratin/craftin, so the shower cannot happen until after.

I have to do things a certain way, k?

Anyhoo ...

Yesterday, I was readin over at my girls' {they're sisters!!} at Southern Sass and found this little tid bit.

It's pretty much truth.

I wonder the same things. Don't we all?

Annnd, I'm there too. It would be awesome if I had 57849 followers but I just can't say that I want them so much if I have to give them shit and use bribery for them to read my blog. 

Now don't get your panties in a bunch. If you wanna thank your readers with a lil prize, you go right ahead. But, some of y'all give out more shit than Santa. 

If you read my blog because you are reading my blog, thank you.

The whole post cracked me up and I must say, I can totally identify. And I think if we're being honest, most of us can. And, I do sometimes wonder if those of y'all who have "made it" in bloggin world get sick to death of pimpin out sponsors and tryin out their stuff and then havin to write about it.

Do Enjoy the post below - written by "S" - the other sister's name is "G" .... mysterious. I like it. I want to give them names in my head ... like Sabrina and Ginger ... :

{For the record, I don't even know these shugpies. I actually read the blog because I like it and I think they are hilarious. No free bubble necklaces or target gift cards were given in exchange for the pimpin out of their blog.}

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Friday is my second favorite F word...

It's finally Friday and while I could be writing a letter to Friday who probably won't even read it or become all confessional and confess my secrets and sins to readers, I think I will just for once write about my own topic.  Stuff I sometimes want to ask Bloggers but don't.  Wouldn't that be a long link-up name? It's not going to be don't worry.  

But really I know you all think it you just don't say it.  Here is a list of some of the things I wonder...

Who takes all the model like pictures of you?  

Do you spend the day getting ready for said picture and use a tripod or do you actually have a photog that follows you on your way twirling out of the picture perfect house on your way to work?

Do you actually want to read a post about people who sponsor you and why you should check out their blog too? (Not saying I don't want to I'm just asking.)

You give away so much stuff you must be really unselfish or have just a ton of new stuff lying around.  Where do you get it all?

Did these people really just get your address somehow and say I want to send you this cool shit and see if you like it, go on try it out. And how can I get them to find my address?

Do you really think that was a good deal on said item or are you just trying to be fancy huh?

Do readers really send you sooo many emails it is such a burden you have to start posting like a single picture with the caption something along the lines of my popularity is soo stressful need a break, enjoy this pic of peacocks....

Do you really get a ton of emails about what kind of toilet paper you use or foot cream or did you just want to write a post about it?  Either is fine...I think.

Is there really a secret blogging circle and why hasn't anyone taken me under their wing?

That should be all for now.  Please share with me stuff y'all wonder and want to ask Bloggers sometimes.

-S

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Seriously, go check em out.

a thank you.

I was thinking about this lil bloggy and the night I thought of her name. I was bored, and at the time, working a job I HATED. {No, not you WS shugpies.}

I needed an outlet, and best of all, it was FREE!

I've always loved to talk, and loved to write. But, I never could keep up with journaling. Too much to write, and my hand would cramp. Then I'd be pissed because I wasted a really cool notebook or journal (once I decided its job was to be be my journal, I'd label it as such in some way, and write all inside the cover, rendering it useless for any other purpose). These are the times being "the creative type" and a perfectionist at the same time can be aggravating and wasteful.

I grew up and became a teacher, and to be honest, it killed me to force students into the mold of  "perfect English writing" {especially when there aren't hours in the day to properly teach grammar, but let's not go there}. I mean, in adult life, when and where are we expected to write a nice & tidy 5 paragraph essay? Gimme a break. Whatevs.

When I was in high school, my friends and I would make collages for each other on a regular basis - at least once a week. They were our little masterpieces, torn from the pages of any and everything - from Cosmo to the label off some BBQ sauce to a grocery store sales paper. Loaded up with our little inside jokes that were oh so hilarious and other people would see them and wonder what the hell was wrong with us. Glued or taped down with care, maybe some glitter, and then a final coating of clear packaging tape to make it last.

Then, I got married. {I'm making a point with my writing/visual expression needs list here, I promise.} I decided I should make a whoppin scrapbook of EVERYTHANNNNNNNNG. I mean, everything. Every invitation to every engagement party, every shower, rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the honeymoon. All the pictures. All the wrapping and bows. All the receipts. The corona case from Puerto Rico. {Another example of where creativity and perfectionism together feel exhausting and if I can't get it perfect, I just abandon it, and put it in a huge purple tupperware container, throw a vintage tablecloth over it because there's nowhere else to fit it, and move on with my life.}

So ------- the blog. It fulfills all my needs. I can write. {Mostly freely. And this here bloggage gets more and more free everyday because shit gets on my nerves pretty regularly and I sometimes feel an overwhelming urge to go against "the norm" because most people don't even like the norm. They just do shit because they are in a rut and jump on bandwagons - political, how to raise your kids, where to work, why we work, what to eat, how much you should weigh, what to watch on tv, etc, etc, etc.} Barftasma.

Usually, I write because this blog is a creative outlet that I have to have in order to feel normal and like I can function everyday. Kind of like caffeine. I swear, without caffeine, I feel depressed and I don't want to blog or do photography or leave the house. Hell, I don't even wanna go junkin, and that is NOT normal for me. Also on the bloggy is sort of a virtual scrapbook. It's all in one little place on a URL on the web and I don't have to store all the leftover shit in a giant purple tupperware.

Sometimes, I write because something is on my heart and I need it to be out there and off my chest. Or maybe I'm pissed and it just needs to be said. Even if no one reads it.

Sometimes, I write because I need to say thank you - to God, to my family, to the world.

After the blog was around for a bit, I realized people were actually reading it. Most of you dear readers aren't "followers". It's a weird thing, for people to read what you write and then tell you so. It's hard not to write for your readers. It's hard not to worry about offending someone. Or maybe they won't think it's funny, or get where you're coming from. But, the bottom line is, you have to be true to yourself. There's only one you. And if you try to be somebody else, you'll do a shitty job anyway.

So,

Thank you all very much

Thanks for still reading even when I bitch, 

or talk crap about Carolina {go Pack!},

 even when I talk about how the south is the best place on earth to live {because it is},

even when I'm not Susie Sunshine. 

Sometimes, shit is real, and it needs to be said.

And, I figure, at least this is my blog where people can choose not to read it, unlike Facebook, where people post shit and you have to see it in your news feed and then you end up unsubscribin from their ass.

All of your comments, those of you who follow, those of you who tell me that you love reading when I see you in person, YOU MAKE MY WORLD. 

I hope to always write because I enjoy it. But, knowing somebody else enjoys it too feels awesome and makes me wanna keep on gettin ma blog on.

I love y'all! 

* all images, thanks to ma pinterest

Why Blog? Thoughts for today ...

I've been thinking a lot lately. About blogging. Why do we do it?

I've been blogging over a year, and I have to admit, I look at some people's blogs and think, "Wow. They have sooo many followers. WTH?" But at the same time, I read others' blogs that I used  to love, and I AM SICK OF SEEING GIVEAWAYS AND SPONSOR ADS. Where is the content?

Sometimes I have even wished that I had started blogging anonymously so I can say whatever the hell I want. I wanted my blog to be just that - whatever I wanted it to be. It's hard to do that when people know who you are. Everyday, I have considered deleting my "followers" gadget because I don't want to get to a point where I write just "for" the followers. It's like a seal of approval there on your page. People click on your page, and they are like, "Oh, she has 700 followers, she must be pretty good." or "She only has 35 followers? She must suck." It's easy to get lost in the mix.

I am realizing that I don't ever want to be a slave to my blog. I don't ever want to feel like it's something I HAVE to do. I want to only write when I feel like writing and I have something to share. Sometimes my posts are heartfelt novels ... sometimes they are bitchy rants ... sometimes they are something that I found to be funny. My blog is MY SPACE and to me, it's therapeutic - it's like freeing up some space in my brain. There are already SO MANY places in life where you are told exactly what to be, or at least are living under the expectations and consequences or rewards of others. Screw that.

But, the beauty is, reading someone's blog is a choice. There are some blogs that I used to love that I am just sick of now. Sometimes I go for weeks and I'm just not feelin' like writing anything. Sometimes I have so many ideas, I can write 5 posts in one day. Sometimes I feel like things suck, and I catch myself monitoring what I say because I don't want others to think I'm a pessimist bitch. But, this blog is mine. I want it to be just for me. And if people enjoy stopping by for whatever reason, then awesome.

To those of you who read, I am so glad you do. I am glad it brings a smile to your face, or makes you think. I have so many people tell me that they can hear me saying the words aloud as they read them, or that it makes them feel proud to be a real southern girl - not pearls and monograms and sororities and sweet tea and all the shit that non-southern people think a southern girl is. Those, to me, are the biggest compliments of all.

So, to other bloggers, and readers alike, what do you think? Do you feel like blogs get too swamped with trying to "make it"? Yuck.

Why Do I Blog? and other current thoughts

How deep and philosophical. 

Psych.

But seriously, I don't really remember why I started blogging. I didn't have any devastating life change going on that I needed to tell the world about. I wasn't making anything that everyone needed to know about. The best I can think is I love to talk, and blogging is talking via keyboard. I literally feel sometimes like I have so much junk in my head (to do lists, creative project ideas, snarks, this-is-so-amazing-I-have-to-tell-people-so-they-can-try-it's, etc, etc, etc,) that I just started writing I guess. 

It's also like a virtual scrapbook. You can make it look pretty and document memories and how you were feeling about anything at anytime ... and there it is, all stored away via the internet.

But, then, you start to realize, people know who you are, and you pay attention to who is reading because they comment or tell you, "I love your blog!" (And that feels wonderful to hear.)

But along with that, comes pressure. Should I say this? Will I get fired? Who will read this and take it the wrong way and get their feelings hurt? Or get pissed off? on and on and on ...

Then, of course, you can't help but wonder, "How do people make money at this?" Well, obviously that is not my reason to continue blogging. Although, I do love you, 33 followers! xoxoxo!!

But, it's nice to get comments that people know exactly where you're coming from. Or if you could just write one post that makes people feel like they aren't the only one who feels that way. Or sharing a recipe that someone fell in love with. Basically writing anything that people can identify with makes you feel like writing that post was worthwhile. At least that's how I feel.

Although no one wants to read about someone whining 24-7, I know I appreciate you bloggers out there who tell the truth. Clearly, you can't reveal your entire life's circumstances because we have to protect our privacy - and that of others. Sometimes I'd love to write about things just to get it off my chest, but I can't. Because along with telling my own business, which I don't care who knows it, I would also be telling the business of other people involved. People I love.

So, today, friends, I am in a funk sort of a mood. My patience is being tested. I don't get why things are the way they are. I wonder if God is showing me that I made the wrong choice. I wonder if there is a such thing as being 100% certain of the decisions you make. But, I will be fine. I will have my mini pity party and then I will stop and look at all I have to be thankful for, and I will remember that GOD IS IN CONTROL. HIS PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MINE. And this is true for us all, NO MATTER THE SITUATION.

Thanks,  Pinterest 

I'm thankful for these ...

Andrew * my endocrinologist * health insurance * the people I work for and with * Brody * good music * blogging (and it's free!) * pumpkin spice lattes * NC State * MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS * people who love me * people for me to love * acupuncture * when I pray for God to show me how to be thankful/grateful/patient/hopeful, He does * the Raleigh Flea Market * being creative * 

short and random ... there are hundreds of millions of others, clearly ... 

Hope everyone has a fabulous day.

xo,