12 June 2013

i'm here

or at least someone who looks like me is.

1) i wish i could put my brain on a vacay. sick of analyzing. sick of worrying. sick of feeling irritated. sick of wondering what the point is.

2) i'm turning 30 in less than a month. we have no kids. we have no house. i have no real job. i feel pointless. but i do not miss my "real job" that i "went to school to do". i want to do something creative. i don't know how to get started. who hires a teacher to do anything else?

3) i feel like if i can't have a baby, then i should have a rockin' hot body. i have neither. and i'm not motivated to try very hard for either one. what is wrong with me? poor anj.

4) way too many people get on my damn nerves. especially other people's kids. why is that? am i subconsciously jealous of them? bitter over my own circumstances? or is it simply that they are just fucking annoying?

5) i used to love this blog. now it feels like it just sits here staring at me like, "are you gonna write some shit? post some pictures? no? well then, what the hell are you doing?"

i just don't feel like me.

yuck. gross.
cuss me if you want, but i swear, boys have some things easier because their hormones don't fluctuate all over the damn place.

and this is the end of my eeyore post that i only wrote because my blog is nagging me to post something.

8 comments:

Horner and Dunnagan said...

Gurl! What gives? I hear you on all accounts. Maybe you can write children's books! Funny and kooky with a good message. Let's meet up half way soon! HORNER

Meredith said...

go prancercise or just have a beer or buy something. those always make me feel a little better.

Heidi said...

Are we the same person?! Ha feeling a lot of the same things, but I've decided to drink, eat a lot, read and just be until the timing is "right"
Hang in there pretty!

Southern Sass said...

Okay first of all missy you are not pointless! You are great photographer and funny as shit. I don't know what kind of job that creates but I am still trying to figure out the whole job world myself! I really hear you about 5) I don't know what it is anymore but blogging just happens when it happens these days. I hope we both get our blogging mojo back though! You know how to reach me if you ever need anything! :)

Annabelle said...

Hang in there Beth! Keep enjoying your time just hanging out and being around the ones you love! Drink a beer for me! You gotsta keep Silas straight at the store! ha~!

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

Compared to some of the people out there, your life is not pointless. Reflection can cause WTF moments like these for sure. So can birthdays that end in 5 or 0.

What is your gut telling you to do with your life? I envision you selling black & white photos you take of the store and your father-in-law and your life at local fairs or on etsy.

Misty said...

I have a job that pays the bills, but it's scary to think that I'm 34 and still not doing what I love. Scary and frustrating!

Aleshea said...

Girl, I feel yo struggles. Lately it's like we're surviving but not living. Very annoying. And then when people tell you it will get better or God has a plan for you. That is annoyiing to. People just need to hush up and let you be you.

Oh and girl you always got me laughing. That ain't pointless.