how shug met her mister

Picture it: 

Raleigh, 2004

Once upon a time, there was a young, somewhat crass and slightly unrefined, beautiful, southern girl named Beefy (told y'all, I have a handful of nicknames) who attended the most magical university in the great state of North Carolina, and quite possibly the world, North Carolina State University, home of the beloved Wolfpack. She lived in an all girls dorm which was one of three other dorms in a little nook on campus called the Quad (fourth part was the C-store). She loved spending her days with her Berry girls and could often be found swinging in the swing outside with any of an assortment of friends, many of which were roomies and best buds with a handsome young man with whom Beefy had not yet been acquainted. Beefy and her friends had visited many of these friends in the dorm next door on several occasions. But somehow, Beefy had never laid eyes on this handsome character that everyone seemed to know and love. 

Until one day - when one of Beefy's friends said, "Hey Beefy, wanna come with me over to the boys' house?" {At this point, our boys from the dorm next door had begun to rent a magical abode which the group lovingly referred to as Lord Berk.} Well - Beefy's first impression was that he was quite handsome, but appeared to be a snotty frat boy. Which was most definitely NOT Beefy's type. During this initial encounter Beefy decided that instead of calling him Davis, as most of his friends did, she preferred to call Mr. Handsome by his first name, Andrew. Beefy wondered why Andrew was so quiet, and she wrongly assumed that Andrew was stuck up. She also felt intrigued to find that such a quiet, fratty looking boy was the owner of the Chevy Silverado parked in the carport with the tags in the front that read, "American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God". {She had a T-shirt that said the exact same thing!!!} Andrew also thought it was quite forward of Beefy to insist that she not pay the required $5 for a red solo cup at the upcoming Fourth of July party, as the Fourth of July was Beefy's birthday. But, Andrew assured her anyway that he hoped to see her there, and she would not, in fact, be asked to pay on her birthday. 

 

The Fourth of July soon rolled around and Beefy made an appearance with her dear friend and roommate. However, the appearance was brief, and upon leaving, Andrew grabbed Beefy's hand and said she should stay. But, Beefy left anyway, and noted that Andrew's hands were quite soft to the touch.

  Then - Beefy decided it might be fun to play games with Andrew, as they were young and single, and she'd probably never see him or hang out with him again anyway. And soon thereafter, quite the flirtatious AOL Instant Messenger conversation ensued. Pretty soon, Andrew started finding reasons to come over and hang out with Beefy and her friend Ashley on random weeknights, keeping her up until the wee hours of the morning with random conversation, insisting that she need not go to bed, despite the late hour, because there was no way her boss would fire a pretty girl like her for coming in exhausted and late. (He did not know Beefy's boss was a woman who did not care how pretty she was or wasn't.) And as these little visits increased in frequency, Beefy's mother and grandmother began to ask if she had some interest in this boy. But Beefy assured them that there most certainly was not any interest. Because, she was still fairly certain that there wasn't.

In the upcoming weeks, Beefy was away at the beach with her Berry girl, Ashley and Andrew was away on a Farm Trip with his daddy and some other southern menfolk. Ashley and Beefy spent nights giggling and thinking of how handsome Andrew was, and Ashley strongly encouraged Beefy to call Andrew. But she dared not. All the while, Andrew was away thinking, "Maybe I should give this girl a shot. She's not really that hardcore. Good personality. Nice donk. And I'm diggin the accent."

Numerous chit chats and Bud Heavies were had and then came ... The Night of the Fried Chicken. You see, one night, after an evening of valeting, Andrew met up with Beefy at a party. Beefy had stupidly filled Andrew's head with thoughts of how good she was at making delicious fried chicken. Meanwhile, Beefy had never, ever, ever actually made fried chicken a day in her life. Off they went, from the party, to the Food Lion to pick up ingredients for fried chicken, rice, biscuits {the Mary B's frozen kind, duh}, and some string beans. Beefy's heart began to race as she frantically wondered how she would pull this off. So, into the driveway of Lord Berk they arrived. Beefy egg-dipped, floured, fried and prayed over the chicken. She asked God to forgive her for telling stories and at least make the chicken turn out edible and not be bleeding at the center. Lord knows she didn't want the boy to get food poisoning.

Thankfully, God answered Beefy's prayers as Andrew commended her on the delicious chicken and proceeded to eat his whole plateful, and some of Beefy's when she said she was full. {Andrew didn't realize Beefy wasn't really full, but nervous. And that he'd never hear her say she was full ever, ever again.} But Beefy made a grave mistake. One that would be revealed about a week later at yet another party. {Beefy and Andrew's friends liked to get together and enjoy each other's company quite frequently.}

So, there, a week later, at Ashley's party, Beefy and Andrew's budding romance was revealed. The bean spiller was their dear mutual friend Ryan, who sneakily had his girlfriend {now wife} stand guard in the hall as he dug through the mystery girl's purse in search of some form of identification. And there, in Beefy's wallet, Ryan found what he needed. 

"Oh, it's just Beth. We can go back to bed now."

Yep, right there, amidst the gathering of friends, Ryan announced his findings and asked what was up. Beefy was quite nauseous, being put on the spot like that, because Andrew was not there yet. {He was valeting again.} And, Beefy didn't know "what was up." Were they dating? Her mind raced. Her heart pounded.

But ... from the way Beefy and Andrew were acting toward one another when he did finally arrive, there was indeed, somethin cookin between those two. And it was more than fried chicken. 

This was later confirmed when Andrew let Beefy's friend Ashley know that he was lookin to see where things went with Beefy - and if it got serious? Well, that'd be alright with him.

And everyday after that, Beefy fell more and more in love with Andrew and affectionately began to call him "Anj". Anj kept Beefy in his phone as "Beefy" and he realized that Beefy was a sweet lil southern thang he could bring home to Mama. She of course, was equally relieved to find out that he was not a frat boy, or snobby. Her parents, too, were quite pleased with Mr. Anj.

And, so, after many late night outings in the Raleighwood, countless text conversations, one Valentine's-Day-text-message-misunderstanding-which-resulted-in-one-dozen-red-roses-delivered-by-Anj-himself-to-Beefy's-workplace, and many, many, many midnight trips to Cook Out, the rest, my friends, is history.