20 May 2011

Miracle Whip Ain't Mayonnaise & Other Facts of Life

 If you know me at all, you know that:

I love NC.

I love to eat.

Today is May 20th, what a coinky-dink! Happy Mecklenburg Declaration of Independence Day!!

So, today's post is about the great state of Nawth Cack and the way we prefer to fill our bellies - and the bits of variation that you'll find from one spot to the next. Perhaps I was inspired by last week's Pig' Pickin' post?  Especially with summer comin, and therefore, increased road trippin, I thought you should be aware of some of these just in case you'd like to try a lil somethin tasty along the way. This isn't however, a general "southern foods" post because - that would take years and be the longest post ever. I feel overwhelmed even entertaining the thought of it.

Here's some things I've found to be true:


Hot Dawg Toppins:

*chili (preferably soupy with small meaty deliciousness - thick, chunky chili is not typically used for hotdogs - but I'll eat it just the same ;) Oh, and PUHLEASE don't put beans in that mess. Yuckation! ) Much as you chili snobs may think it's TheNastiestThingEver.com, I always use good ole:

TX Pete is made in Winston-Salem, NC, not TX ;) I wonder if people in TX even heard of Texas Pete hot sauce or chili or anything else?
 And speakin' of Texas Pete - the hot sauce doesn't belong on the hot dog, but it sure is tasty on some fries to go with your hot dog. ;) 

Once, at church, we were servin hotdogs - and all the yankees were like:
1) "What is this?" I looked at them like What the deuce do it look like, playa? It's chili. Duh!
2) "You guys are always bragging about your Duke's mayonnaise, but I see that we're almost out of the Miracle Whip and there's plenty of Duke's left." 
My response: "That's cause we're on the fourth bottle of Duke's and that's only the first bottle of Miracle Whip. Yep. Enjoy your hotdog, Shug."
* All mentions of   "mayonnaise" from now on in this post mean DUKE'S. Otherwise, it's not actually mayonnaise - it's too sweet or cream like or whatev. Miracle Whip says "Salad Dressing" on the front. They really are different. Once, I asked Hazel (meemaw) what she puts in her slaw...she listed mayonnaise (which I obvi assumed to be Duke's duh) and "salad dressing". I'm like, Gross, like Ranch? .... No - she meant a dash of Miracle Whip because it says Salad Dressing on the bottle.

*Slaw (pay attention real close: Coleslaw) Now, let me help you with the pronunciation: Slaaaaawwwwww, not Slah. (Love you Cori!) And by slaw I mean mayonnaise-based slaw, NOT vinegar based, which can be served as a side dish - but I don't prefer it.

*Onions - just raw, cut up, straight up, yellow onions, frands.

*Any combination of the following: ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise

I will occasionally eat randoms from say, Sonic, like chili/cheese or hell, even sauerkraut. No Relish though. Relish is for potato salad and chicken salad (that'll be a different post).
Pickles? What the deuce, Sonic?! Naiiiisty!

I like hotdogs from Snoopy's , Chargrill , and Roast Grill in Raleigh. Stuart's and Cole's Pharmacy (mentioned before here) in Roxboro, and Zack's  in Charlotte. ;)

The Roast Grill



Tomato Biscuits: 
Me/Peidmont/Central NC - Biscuit + real butter + tomato + salt + pepper = the bomb diggity. You can only eat these in the summer with real, out-the-garden tomatoes and real ho-made biscuits. Otherwise, what a let down. However, if you don't have time to make real biscuits, the next best thing is Mary B's:

In addition to a "regular" tomato biscuit, sausage & tomato biscuits and Bojangle's Chicken Filet & Tomato is also friggin' amazing.

Move a tiny hair west - Denton, NC - lived there briefly growin up - (if you're ever passin' through - check out Rick's and if you go at the right time, The Old Threshers Reunion).
Tomato biscuit = biscuit + tomato + MAYONNAISE (dunno bout the salt n peppa). Seemed yuck to me, which is interesting because.....


Tomato Sandwich: (these are reason enough to get out of bed in the summer)
Two pieces loaf bread (better on white) + garden red tomato + mayonnaise + salt + peppa = holy shiz, frands! Yummo! From what I've learned so far, I think all North Carolinians pretty much agree on how to make this. Love me a mayonnaise/tomato combo on loaf bread - biscuit, not so much. I don't eat mayonnaise on biscuits.


Banana Sandwich:
Two pieces loaf bread (better on white) + banana slices (you can slice em in little circles - better or long strips - easier) + mayonnaise + salt  + peppa. (My Fuquay friends and some others may feel a little hesitant about the salt & peppa part, but I've always had 'em with.)

My stepdad is from Ohio and to him, Banana Sandwich = banana + peanut butter. I think that tastes yummy too. But it's a "Peanut Butter Banana sandwich, not a Banana Sandwich" Bless his heart. We have had to google some of the things he says that none of us understand - even him. Crime N Netley? What the deuuuce? Translation: Crime in Italy ;) Who'da thunk it?


BBQ of course: slow roasted piggy and then the meat is chopped or pulled. I'm not gonna go east/west on you, because honestly, there are so many variations at this point, who knows? Just try to get some slaw, hushpuppies or plain white loaf bread to go with it. But here's my two cents:

1) vinegar - Ding! Ding! Ding! You are the winner! It's vinegar based but with a little peppery/sugary/spicy influence. Doesn't totally overwhelm the meat. (However, in my beloved "Terry's BBQ Sauce" there is ketchup added, but the sauce is very runny and it's still 99.9% vinegar. Love this stuff!)

  • If you are ever in Roxboro, NC get a BBQ sandwich with slaw and mayonnaise from Stuart's. (Also featured in  Our State Magazine for their other tasty menu items.)
  • If you are ever in Raleigh, NC get you some BBQ from Ole Time Barbecue on Hillsborough St. (Catered our Weddin'. NO REGRETS!)
  • If you want some BBQ in Charlotte, check out Mac's on South Blvd. (Highly recommend the amazing fully-loaded BLT too!)

2) tomato-tastic - I don't know exactly what this is, but when it's orange, that ain't good. Not a fan of this. Pasty-ness.

3) mustard (Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?) Sorry SC frands, I'm not in love with it. But - Anj is! To me, this is just pulled pork w/ some honey mustardy sauce drizzled over it.

PS - I texted two of my girls who moved to the Nawth Cack from elsewhere asking for their thoughts on NC food/drinks/things they've noticed since being here. Their replies were loaded with such fabulousness that I'm just going to have to write them out right here, word for word:

Cori - from Colorado:
Hell yeah - hushpuppies, grits, collards, slaw & chili on hamburgers/hotdogs, monkey bread, 7 layer cake, sweet potato pie, Cheerwine, sweet tea, moonshine, fried catfish, pig pickins, eastern NC BBQ, tomato sandwiches - if I think of anything else I'll let you know. It was like coming to a whole new world when I moved here! I have broadened my horizons and I'm glad I'm here!

Boeger - from Michigan:
Obviously sweet tea, pulled meat, animal nasties (tongues, livers, giblets, etc), collard greens, anything soaked in vinegar, grits, sweet potatoes, chewing tobacco or dip, and anything made by Utz (they from Hanover, PA - they must hate on MI?). Tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes. Sliced, pureed, squished into a juice, or in between two slices of bread. Nasty. (I told her that last bit there was blasphemous.) Dukes too and Carolina Treet BBQ sauce.
Carolina Treet DOES NOT belong on actual piggy BBQ - instead, it makes some bomb diggy BBQ chicken on the grill! It's from Wilmington. (Holla!) But don't worry, if you email them, they will be glad to send you some if it's not available in your area. ;)

I'm sure there are about a billion other things out there that you know you love to eat that I didn't mention here.
What do you think? Tell us some of your favorites and how you prefer to get yo grub on, frands! We need to know! (Even if you're not a North Carolina shugpie.)        


Tracy said...

Very witty & sooo true!
I remember when I moved to Goldsboro, it was the first time I saw collard greens on all the menus as a regular item.

HAZEL said...


Beth @ Shug in Boots said...

Tru Dat! We were raised on turnip greens! But - I do like collard greens - thicker and leafier feelin'.

Amber said...

that was condiment overload :) You know I love all red condiments but I did get a little nauseous over the o-so-descriptive Dukes details. I so hate the sound it makes when you put a knife in the jar, or how it congeals after it has been sitting out, or how it lumps out of your sandwich and smacks your plate.....GROSS! I still love you shug even though you love tha mayo!

KBMS said...

Does it make me a sad excuse for a North Carolinian that I only eat banana sandwiches(minus the salt and pepper) and BBQ? I agree that Miracle Whip is disgusting, gotta go for either Dukes or Hellmans.

How about this guy ordered a B-B-Q (he spelled out the letters) sandwich at work the other day and I had to stop myself from laughing out loud.

How could you forget banana pudding???