26 October 2012

dear ________________,

dear dairy free liquid creamer, 
you are the shizzz and make my coffee so much more delicious than fat free milk.

dear pumpkin pie spice,
i'm so glad i found a use for you more than once a year by sneaking you into my coffee grounds before brewing.
{a lil tidbit for all you "fake hashtag" haters}

dear whipped cream,

dear truvia,
thanks for removing my splenda guilt.

y'all all rock:

 dear sausage/egg/cheese scramble,
you make my friday complete.

dear goodwill,
i am coming for you after the today show is over and i fold all those towels and shower and attempt to do something with my hair and face. i hope you have somethin - just onnnne thing?? - that makes me super excited that i stopped by.

dear weird dreams that started at pregnancy and are still goin strong,
gimme a break. i feel like i never sleep.

dear hair loss,
really? is it hormonal fluctuation? is it my thyroid medicine? {ironic} it's been real. it's time for you to GO.

dear wusthof knives,
how many times does it take me to learn your game? nothin like drippin blood all over the counter while you cook breakfast. luckily, i didn't pass out like a brother i have whose name does not start with E.

dear starbucks:
you cost too damn much, which is as i said above, why i have rigged my own pumpkin spice deal at home. however, there still ain't nothin like the real thang. maybe twice a season, i am super excited to stop by and get a venti pumpkin spice latte and it never disappoints.

 dear brody,
i know you think i humiliate you sometimes by taking way too many pics of you, but at least you're not this dog:

 dear halloween,
i am sort of sad that i have totally ignored you this year. i am so past the slut costumes and alcohol imbibing during halloween. but, i am sort of sad i didn't throw together some kind of outfit for handing out candy.

dear jeff,
happy birthday! it is so weird that i am 10 years older than you and you are just starting college. also, that i totally remember your precious red curls and changing your not so precious diapers.


1 comment:

Tracy said...

That picture of that little dog is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!