18 October 2012

FACEBOOK: If you no likey, delete your account!

First off, today's post was inspired by the lovely Whitney at I Wore Yoga Pants to Work. You see, she is a Twitter kinda girl, and is supa fed up with Facebook, so she wrote a post called 10 reasons why Facebook sucks {my favorite on her list is #9}. While I personally love me some Facebook, I do totally get where she's coming from with her list of FB annoyances. So, duh, it is wise for her to delete her account because she finds that shit to be crampin her style. And now, she is soul-cleansed and free and happy. Go Whitney!

So, while I do love some Facebook, it needs to be said:

IF YOU WANT TO BITCH ALL DAY AND NIGHT ABOUT SHIT PEOPLE DO AND SAY ON FACEBOOK, YOU EITHER GONE HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT  ... OR ... wait for it ... YOU CAN DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT. 
K, SHUGS?

{Again, I do strongly suggest you go check out her post, because it is true, and hilarious.}

In addition to her awesome list, I would like to add the following:

11. CREEPERS - some of y'all are sneaky, puss ass stalkers. Straight up. I don't mean lookin through people's pictures stalkers. Pictures are there to look at, and if people didn't want "non-friends" seein their biz-nass, then they could just change their settings. 
I'm talkin about y'all people on Facebook day and night, never sayin a worrrrd, but tellin everythang you read to everybody you know, like you gettin paid to be a spy - except that shit is ON THE INTERNET.
Or, you wanna casually mention to somebody somethin you stalked on their page, but didn't actually comment on or acknowledge ON Facebook while you were creepin. 
We all know y'all are out there.
And here's somethin that'll blow your mind
People put shit on facebook because they don't give a damn who sees or knows it.
See how that works? Take a minute to think about it.
Ready to go on?
Okay.

BUT - again, if you want to stay on Facebook, this is the shiz you sign up for.

So, if you hate it when people check in every ten minutes, or post pictures of their baby and everything they do every ten seconds, or tell people what they ate for lunch, or post political shit {my favorite}, or any of the other things Whitney described ... you can unsubscribe from them, or if you got really big balls, unfriend them ... OR .... here it comes again ... YOU CAN DELETE YOUR DAMN ACCOUNT.

TA-DA! See? It's eassssssy.

But, NOBODY IS MAKING YOU READ IT. 

Do we now all understand how the internet works?

Remember, you can always just say no {like Ms. Whitney, duh!}

And, just for fun, here is some Someecards/Facebook love.

someecards.com - I hope the avalanche of Facebook birthday wishes is a welcome respite from the avalanche of Facebook political posts.

someecards.com - I can't wait to stop hating people for their political Facebook posts and get back to hating them for their personalities.

someecards.com - If I had $100 for every time I read something interesting on my Facebook feed I'd be poor as shit.

someecards.com - If you really loved me, you would say it on my Facebook Wall

someecards.com - One quality I'm not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm

And so, there you have it friends.
That's what Facebook is, a dumping ground - to tell people about your life, your relationships, your kids, your lunch, your asthma, your new coffee table, your anniversary, your toenail fungus, whatever the hell you want to tell people.

I mean, what is considered "proper" Facebook posting anyway, you know?
Regardless of what it is, the person who posted it will think it's beyond thrilling, and somebody else will think, "Who gives a shit?"

Luckily, you have a way out.


PS - TOTALLY off topic: Did anybody hear Roy Williams say "mixed marriage" on ESPNU's ACC Media Day Special last night when what he meant was "house divided"? Poor shug.
I leave you with this final image of the lovelies in Chapel Hill doin' their thang.
 Enjoy your day!

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5 comments:

two birds said...

you are hilarious!! i just think there are people out there who like to complain about everything, and facebook is easy. but you are right, just delete your account (they never will)! great, funny post!

Southern Sass said...

All I have to say to this is AMEN!

Abigaylemae said...

LOVE the tarheel tutu pic...bahahahaha

Andrew said...

That's the second time I've seen someone in the last two weeks complain about people using hashtags on Facebook. I don't do it myself but there are programs out there for phones that will post you. Twitter itself even gives you the option.

Emmett Katherine said...

Oh Facebook! I deleted my account a long time ago! I got tired of constantly having to relearn and change the stupid privacy settings - I don't like creepers! Yet I have a blog lol. Anyways the whole point of Facebook is for ppl to talk about their day to day lives... If they didn't Facebook would be pretty boring!!