11 April 2013

plumbers, ryan lochte, and coregasms

a few things.

- one -
it is safe to say i am fully addicted to diet mt. dew. sometimes i can force feed (force drink? force water?) myself water and eventually get used to it, and actually want water. people who just get up out the bed and think, "ahhhh, water!" {anj davis} blow my mind. it's not that i hate it so much, it's just that i'd rather have something more delicious - like ice cold diet mt. dew in a can, but bottle works if there's no other choice. my dmd madness has been on in some form or another since high school. :( i used to be a teacher's aid in fourth period, and all we {me and the teacher} did was drink cans of diet mt. dew from the teacher's lounge. but, i think my dmd problem is much more than caffeine. y'all, even when i drink the caffeine free ones, i feel all jazzed up like i can blog for years, typing 94857348798 words a minute, after i run a few laps.

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now, before the preachin' starts, i KNOW how terrible diet drinks are for you. hell, i can't even sit indian style. i'm pretty sure there's a strong correlation between the poison in diet drinks/me being crazy dehydrated and the fact that my joints are locked up tight.
i don't think quitting cold turkey is gonna get it. my plan is to force myself to drink my orange juice jug of water everyday. and, if i want a diet drink, i can have it. but, i have to drink the water regardless. hopefully, one day, water will sound more appealing than DMD.
thing is, i never start with the water until supper. :/
as i write this, it's 4:09 pm, and i've had some light cranberry juice/diet ginger ale and a .......
diet mt. dew. and no water. 
YET.


- two -
did y'all know that doing crunches can give you a stronger core?
 and a coregasm?
I mean, I don't have an mba from chapel thrill or anything, but something about this ain't addin' up. else, we'd all be walkin' around with abs of steel, no? 


- three -
somebody gave ryan lochte his own show.
from the trailer he totally seems like an arrogant prick.


might be aiight to watch on mute, kinda like most of channing tatum's movies.


- four -
i hate when people need to be in and out of your house.
see, what had happened was a little drip here, a little drip there = hole cut in wall, and hole cut in downstairs ceiling to fix the wet spot in the sheet rock.

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awesomesauce.
i wanted to take a shower after my walk in the blazin' hot sun today. but, i was afraid they'd show up, knock, and then after i didn't answer, let themselves in, and come upstairs while i'm in the shower that they are workin' on.
no bueno.
no need to repeat that time at state when i may or may not have gotten out of the shower and stood in front of a window {which faces nothing but a roof!!} and dropped my towel and proceeded to put on lotion. part i didn't realize is that there were like 5 construction workers repairing the roof.
absolutely. wanted. to. vomit.
and skipped an important class because i was too embarrassed to walk outside for the rest of the day.


- five -
i often think, 'if i could just write a book, anonymously, we'd be rich, no question.' but, i'm still afraid the people that it was based on will figure me out.
i was talking to my friend the other day, and she suggested that in the meantime before i write my own off the wall, i-couldn't-make-this-shit-up books, that i read these:

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so, i went to the library {the library, y'all!!} and checked 'em out. i have not been in a library not on a school campus in years, and man, do they smell awesome, or do they smell awesome?


so, whatch'all been up to?

12 comments:

The Pink Growl said...

I am soooo with you on that Diet Mt Dew girl! Love that stuff!I would call myself borderline addicted. I do well with drinking water during the week when I'm at work but on the weekends oh hell no give me my diet dew! And I'm with you on Ryan Lochte....I just don't get it...

Meredith said...

try adding the flavor packets to water, maybe that will help. that's what i do during the work day. Ryan Lochte, oh jeah! (how dumb) but i just watched the entire trailer so hey don't judge.

Laurie Tester said...

I want start this by letting you know I'm at work and at work all pictures and important stuff is blocked, so all I can see on your blog are the written words. That said..you had me a Chapel Thrill. I'm from NC, live in the Piedmont of NC, and love NCSU. I went to Peace and then ECU (I know, it's not right for me to love State, but I do). I also would love to write THAT same book, but know I would be figured out. I've often thought about writing a fictional novel based on all the stuff I know (same book but act like it's pretend). I clicked on your link at Life According to Steph (I'm pretty sure we were seperated at birth, but several years apart). I cannot wait to get home so I can get the full scoop on your blog. I will definitely be following you!
Laurie
Lulu and Daisy
PS--DMD is killing you, but that is all I will say about it. I've been off Diet Coke for years, but I will have one every now and then (and my mouth must be cotton dry and my head must hurt from fun).

Aleshea said...

Girl I'm with you on the water thing. I drink so much sweet tea and sweet tea lemonade it aint even funny. I tried to quit cold turkey once. I was feenin like a crack head and it wasn't pretty. I love Ryan but he has always come off cocky to me.

Misty said...

I can't even stomach the whole trailer. I hope Lochte's show bombs. He is such a tool.

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

The library is one of my favorite places.

I LOVE Stephanie Plum books.

It is so foreign to me NOT to drink water. Water is the thing I drink the most. Then coffee and iced tea.

Amanda @ The Barstows: Our Little House on the {West Texas} Prairie said...

I've never been a pop fan (I know you can shame me for calling it pop) but I recently started drinking coffee. Oh my Lord, I don't even know how that stuff is legal. That has been the most significant life changing event for me lately :) And I vote you write the book! Do a pen name or something, (do people still do that??)

Jess said...

one: sounds like you are going to be peeing all night.
two: i know you won't be surprised to know that i have never heard of ryan lochte.
three: did i tell you about the time three months ago when the plumber knocked once and then let himself in while i was in the shower? i heard him prowling around downstairs when i turned the water off and almost had a panic attack. so it really happens.
four: if you write said book, i would like to appear in the dedication section. you can give me a code name if that will help.

Scott K. Johnson said...

Dude, I swear the addiction (you to DMD, me to Diet Coke) is from the diabetes, yo!

SHUG IN BOOTS {Beth} said...

"this book is dedicated to my friend Shug in Flats, who is forever scarred by the realities that shaped the storyline of this book. your existence within a 15 minute radius is quite simply, proof of the Lord's love ... and that He has a sense of humor and wants us both to enjoy it and not take life too seriously. cheers to breastfeeding while bike riding and the cat who speaks to my soul from the front porch."

SHUG IN BOOTS {Beth} said...

Yeah, totally diabeetus' fault. :)

SHUG IN BOOTS {Beth} said...

Clearly we were meant to be friends. Glad you made your way over to these parts. UNC sucks. (Way to state the obvious, right?)
And, I hope to be able to one day say, "I haven't had DMD in years."