OH HEY, FRIDAY

This shugpie was home today, and I enjoyed some happies in the form of

// some tutorials from Emily at The Sweetest Thing

After watching, I felt an urge to go play with makeup in my jammies that I'm still wearing at 3 pm. 

 

I do dearly love me some mascara.

That laundry, not so much. 

However, I did do am in the process of doing two loads, one of which is the sheets on our bed, which means I have to put them back on, which I think should count as a bonus laundry effort.

// some Reese's from the giant container of sweets we still have from Christmas

 

 

// some free {today's the last day!!} ebooks from Beth Moore

// lunch with the hubs. We had some tuna salad with bacon and cheese on toast, sliced apples, and some gluten free pretzel sticks. Then Anj remembered this delicious salted caramel we had left over from this Southern Living Salted Caramel-Chocolate Pecan Pie recipe, and we started to dunk the pretzel sticks and apples into that, and let me tell you friends, healthy food tastes better dunked in homemade salted caramel. YOLO.

// decided I'm sick of our bed. I think I'm going to go up and add more pillows, or change the way I make it in the morning or something. Is this weird? Do you ever do anything to switch up the look of your bed outside of going out and buying all new bed linens?

Have a magical weekend, lovelies!

Currently ...

I straight ripped the below image and idea from Stephanie's blog.

{Hey Steph.}

Listening ... to the door open and close as Anj goes out on our patio to water the plants, and to the dryer.

Craving ... nothing, surprisingly. We'll see how long this lasts ... I do feel a plain tart fro yo with strawberries, blue berries and almonds fix comin' on, though.

Drinking ... nothing. But - I did drink lots of water today! Go me!

Working ... on nothing. {Anyone see a pattern here?} But - I did some organizing (aka intense dust inhalation) at the store today ... 

                                                                                                                ... lifted some 50 lb. salt blocks, swept, sold some shit, and at home, did laundry, put away a bunch of shit from my car, our bedroom, and the living room, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, washed some dishes, made some slaw, ... and Anj and I did this crazy ass high intensity circuit workout, which made me think of ball suicides in high school where I would almost vomit.

Reading ... nothing. Finished Gatsby and am now feeling all intellectual and shit, and may try some good old Ernest Hemingway.

Wearing ... a white t-shirt, my NC State shorts and my bedroom slippers.

Refusing ... to get involved with Candy Crush Saga.Word. I agree, Stephanie!

Feeling ... awesome. We just had some delicious fish tacos, and I stayed busy today and drank lots of water. 

Smelling ... nothing. Clearly, I lead a boring life.

Loving ... my husband - for helping me deal with my tire situation this week, and for just being generally awesome - like how he made those fish tacos tonight. Mmmmm! 

Hating ... my muffin top, extra thigh meat, and granny arms.

Annoyed ... that I don't know more about photography, and that it is my own fault because I don't spend enough time playing with my camera and getting to know it better. Poor Nita Nikon. 

Ignoring ... all the shit I read about diet drinks ... well, sort of. I still drink them, but I feel guilty now. 

Anticipating ... ???

Planning ... nothing, really. The thought, "You wanna hear God laugh? Tell Him your plans." comes to mind.

Missing ... Texas.

Wanting ... a farm house and plenty of money to renovate it and buy antiques and vintage goodies to fill it up.

Excited ... to go to the beach. 

Thinking ... how May is flying by, but how far away July 6 seems.

Enjoying ... a clean house.

Thankful ... for the Lord giving me peace of mind and optimism 99% of the time - a priceless blessing. Also, thankful for getting to spend time with my FIL. :)

plumbers, ryan lochte, and coregasms

a few things.

- one -
it is safe to say i am fully addicted to diet mt. dew. sometimes i can force feed (force drink? force water?) myself water and eventually get used to it, and actually want water. people who just get up out the bed and think, "ahhhh, water!" {anj davis} blow my mind. it's not that i hate it so much, it's just that i'd rather have something more delicious - like ice cold diet mt. dew in a can, but bottle works if there's no other choice. my dmd madness has been on in some form or another since high school. :( i used to be a teacher's aid in fourth period, and all we {me and the teacher} did was drink cans of diet mt. dew from the teacher's lounge. but, i think my dmd problem is much more than caffeine. y'all, even when i drink the caffeine free ones, i feel all jazzed up like i can blog for years, typing 94857348798 words a minute, after i run a few laps.

now, before the preachin' starts, i KNOW how terrible diet drinks are for you. hell, i can't even sit indian style. i'm pretty sure there's a strong correlation between the poison in diet drinks/me being crazy dehydrated and the fact that my joints are locked up tight.

i don't think quitting cold turkey is gonna get it. my plan is to force myself to drink my orange juice jug of water everyday. and, if i want a diet drink, i can have it. but, i have to drink the water regardless. hopefully, one day, water will sound more appealing than DMD.
thing is, i never start with the water until supper. :/

as i write this, it's 4:09 pm, and i've had some light cranberry juice/diet ginger ale and a .......

diet mt. dew. and no water. 

YET.

- two -
did y'all know that doing crunches can give you a stronger core?
 and a coregasm?

I mean, I don't have an mba from chapel thrill or anything, but something about this ain't addin' up. else, we'd all be walkin' around with abs of steel, no? 

- three -
somebody gave ryan lochte his own show.

from the trailer he totally seems like an arrogant prick.

might be aiight to watch on mute, kinda like most of channing tatum's movies.

- four -
i hate when people need to be in and out of your house.

see, what had happened was a little drip here, a little drip there = hole cut in wall, and hole cut in downstairs ceiling to fix the wet spot in the sheet rock.

awesomesauce.

i wanted to take a shower after my walk in the blazin' hot sun today. but, i was afraid they'd show up, knock, and then after i didn't answer, let themselves in, and come upstairs while i'm in the shower that they are workin' on.

no bueno.

no need to repeat that time at state when i may or may not have gotten out of the shower and stood in front of a window {which faces nothing but a roof!!} and dropped my towel and proceeded to put on lotion. part i didn't realize is that there were like 5 construction workers repairing the roof.

absolutely. wanted. to. vomit.

and skipped an important class because i was too embarrassed to walk outside for the rest of the day.


- five -
i often think, 'if i could just write a book, anonymously, we'd be rich, no question.' but, i'm still afraid the people that it was based on will figure me out.
i was talking to my friend the other day, and she suggested that in the meantime before i write my own off the wall, i-couldn't-make-this-shit-up books, that i read these:



so, i went to the library {the library, y'all!!} and checked 'em out. i have not been in a library not on a school campus in years, and man, do they smell awesome, or do they smell awesome?


so, whatch'all been up to?

if you knew me ...

... you would know that i value family and relationships more than anything else (except Jesus)

... you would know that i am a very sensitive person, especially when i think someone else is hurting, but at the same time, i will make it real clear when i've had enough of your shiz.

... you would know that i love this creature that came into our lives as a surprise after me crying my eyes out, and that he makes my heart so full. i love him so, so, so much. the way we came to meet mr. bo bo is a reminder that God is in control, and He knows just what (who) to send us, and when. when i look at this picture, i desperately want to kiss bo bo on the sides of his little snout where his cheeks/lips {??} hang down.

... you would know that in the last 4 months i have been consumed by a fear of my own body, and how it's going to betray me. i also feel guilty about this almost constantly because i know that God gave me this body, and there are things out there that i can do to take care of it, and feeling sorry for myself isn't one of them.

... you would know that i can easily go all week without turning on the tv (even longer if i watch PLL online)

... you would know that my husband cooks more than i do. and he does a great job.

... you would know that i hate to read "books" on a piece of technology. i like to hold real paper, and turn real pages. i also love the way real books smell.

... you would know that the only two relationships i've ever had were both with guys who had the same name. thankfully, one of them went by a nickname. i married the other one.

... you would know that this combo is one of my favorite things on earth:

... you would know that my mind is filled day and night with thoughts of bein' a mama ... and that i sometimes can smell the baby in my dream.

... you would know that i literally look at my husband while he sleeps and wonder when i'm going to snap out of it. i cannot believe that it's real. that God actually picked this man to be MY husband!

... you would know that i've never broken a bone

... you would know that i've only tried yoga twice. and i liked it both times. i really think it's my kinda deal. i also finished both of those nights with chocolate. let's hope that part doesn't become an every time kinda thing.

... you would know that i thought of my friend ashley tonight when a man farted, twice, in yoga class. i felt sorry for him. i am terrified it's going to be me next time.

... you would know that i rip gray hairs out by the root, and dread the day that i actually have to pay someone to put color on my hair. on this same note, i hate it when people who have been coloring their hair for damn ever say, "oh, i don't have any grays." wellllll, sugar, i would hope not. i mean, damn, what is the point of hair color if you still got grays?!

... you would know that sometimes i wish this blog was anonymous so i could really say what i think ... and that i would still probably feel guilty after hitting publish .... hmmm ... we'll see

... you would know that i function best on ten hours of sleep ... and i don't care if other people who function on 6 think that's a lot ... to each her own

have a magical monday, sugar lumps! 

and thanks, katie, for being my inspiration for this post, and to keep on tryin'. ;)

list of happies.

i woke up in a great mood today, despite the fever blister family reunion that is taking over my mouth right now. the good new is, today they are not causing teeth pain, swollen lymph nodes, neck pain and therefore, a bangin headache. little bastards.

anyway, my list of happies:

* the bomb old black ladies i saw on my walk this mornin. i admit, i am jealous i didn't have a prominent black lady figure in my childhood like willetta from divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood, or like aibileen from the help. now don't get it twisted -  i am not a racist. i didn't say i wanted a black maid. i said i wanted a prominent black lady figure in my childhood. won't no maids or even once a month cleanin ladies in my house, frands.

* feeling super awesome after my walk - physically, mentally, and emotionally AWESOME.

* editing photos - for clients, of course, but also because i crack myself up doing shiz like this:

* super crisp red grapes alternated with mouthfuls of sunflower seeds

* blood sugars like this. BAM!

* getting paid to take surveys. whoop!

* caffeine free diet mt. dew. i LOVE crunk diet mt. dew, and for a lot of people, the whole point is the caffeine, duh, but with surgery recovery, it's important to stay hydrated, so even though CFDMD is not healthy by any stretch, i am so happy there is a CF version. holla!

* tootsie pops. how awesome, right? just enough chocolate. not bad on calories. fulfilling because you can't just chomp it down in one bite. {i mean, i guess you could, but why?}

* this shiz, which smells HEAVENLY {although i find its name irritating. wouldn't creamy baby oil make more sense?}:

 

and here's what's not so awesome:

* i've read a zillion places all the benefits of coconut oil. i've used it on my skin before - cuts, blemishes, dryness, etc. however, it's supposed to be all kinds of goodness for the inside of ya body too. but, somebody share, HOW DO YOU CONSUME THAT SHIZ WITHOUT GAGGIN LIKE A MAGGOT? can i get a RALPH up in heah? woof! it's solid at room temp, so it has to be melted, or it's like nibblin on cold, crusty butter. hurltasma, right? so, the best thing i've discovered is putting it on hot toast, and smotherin that sonofabitch in peanut butter. and that's just ONE TEASPOON. any suggestions? anyone? mmmk. well, if you think of somethin, do holla.

have a magical .... what is this? wednesday? 

food & people who look alike.

1 // I'm tryin to lose weight. Because I cannot button half my shit. And when I see pictures, it looks like my face and arms are made of play-doh. Problem is, I love food more than I care about being fat. Another problem is I can't afford to buy all new clothes. So, somethin's gotta give. I would be fine if the following foods/bevies were calorie free:

 * bacon

 * beer

 * bacon

 * cheese

 * veggie straws/sticks/whatever

 * bacon 

Maybe this is the solution?

Also, I've really been wanting some "fall" cupcakes lately with pumpkin or cinnamon involved, and nice fluffy whipped frosting:

                                                                                                 

2 // I love that Anj & Big Silas end phone convos with "We'll see ya." #mayberry

3 // Speakin of Mayberry, I am still sad about ole Andy. So weird they made up a fake NC town and then filmed that shiz in Hollywood. Anyhoo, Andy Griffith has ALWAYS reminded me SO MUCH of my granddaddy and my granddaddy's cousin, Buster {Happy Birthdayyy!!!}. Specifically his character on The Andy Griffith Show. Act the same. Talk the same. Same mannerisms. I just realized the other day that Barney calls Andy "Anj" sometimes on there. :)

4 // Kinda like Rob Dyrdek reminds me of my brother. Both of them are hyper completely spazztastic, and hilarious. About the same size. They both do shit I call dangerous. Rob - skateboards. Mack - dirt bikes.

5 // Or how bout these three?

 

Have a happy Tuesday, and remember those who died at the hands of those cowardly assholes 11 years ago.

a list of happies.

dear SIB readers,

thanks so much for your kind comments, thoughts and prayers regarding my meltdown yesterday. i did end up punching diabeetus in the throat, going for a walk, going to bed early, and now i'm feeling better. i'm also having lunch with a dear, dear friend in a little while, so that's all the more reason to be smiles today, shugs.

i'm itching to blog today, and it's going to be in the form of this random list of happies, in no particular order.

1) anj davis

2) chobani greek yogurt in apple cinnamon (just like baked apples at the bottom!)

3) fall's almost here

4) my acupuncturist is the bomb

5) it's alllllmost nc state tailgating time ... can't wait for this friday to watch the chicfila game!

6) thank God for mama

7) and good friends

8) this blog - it keeps me sane fo sho

9) Jesus

sometimes crappo days are just a reminder of your support system. crying helps too. and to have your hubs hug you and smile while you cry. helps you know it's not the end of the world like you previously thought.

i hope y'all have a great tuesday. mine's been good so far! ;)

love,
shug

what's on your list of happy???

It is O . . . . K! Really.

it's ok ...

+ that hubs and I have been on a "Biggest Loser" challenge for over a month and he's lost 6 pounds and I weigh exactly the same. Down to a tenth of a f**kin pound. Really, it's okay.

+ that I have been eating shit tons of these Veggie Medley sticks. (see previous comment about lack of weight loss)

+ that I have one of these half and half cocktails daily. This means I'm having two soft drinks, but only one of which has caffeine. Progress, people. Progress. At least that counts as some kind of a healthy improvement, right? Right.

+ that I am so damn over summer and beyond ready for fall. I'm SICK of mosquitos and SICK of sweatin. The summertime humidity and funk that we get around here is for Davises who have some sort of body temperature regulation problem and finally think it's "warm and comfy".

+ to wear somethin like this to an NC Stizzle game - including a not red shirt. Anj acts like this is the anti-Christ. But I get sick of wearin the same "college apparel" over and over.

wolfpack tailgate by shuginboots

I will not, however, wear stripper heels or a dress barely long enough to cover my ass cheeks. Where are these hoes' mamas/aunts/grandmas? It is a football game, shugs!

+ that I HATE water, and force myself to drink it and keep track of how much water I've had that day so I can feel guilty that I haven't had enough make sure I've had enough by the time my head hits the pillowcase.

+ that I don't watch Honey Boo Boo or any of the Bachelor/Bachelorettes or any of the Real Housewives of BFE, or give a flyin shit what the Kardashians are doing. I hardly ever turn the TV on. It doesn't get turned on until Anj comes home. {Insert lewd joke.}

+ that I don't like to throw out hubs' old raggedy v-neck Hanes t-shirts because Mama like to sleep in em, y'all. I will dig through all the new, thick ones to find an old, thin, raggedy ass one. Com-furt.

+ that the tone of my posts is greatly impacted by what time of the month it is.

+ for somebody who is diabetic as hell to be drankin on some sweet tea at a family reunion. Special occasions call for special rules, no?

+ {and convenient} that there are no dry counties in SC. However, it is weird how the alcohol sales on Sunday depend on what county/city limits you are in. #confusion. You know people be tryin to drink beer and watch the race or the Panthers game.

And just for good measure, here's some shit that is NOT OK

= that in SC, they make you put your weight on your license. Umm, wtf? Annnnd, they are good for 10 years. ........... I'm here to tell y'all, people's weight is GONE CHANGE over the course of 10 years. And there ain't even a scale. You just "tell them" what your weight is. Shit is wrong, and people gone lie anyway!

= for facebook to be givin me "poke" suggestions. Who sits around thinkin, "Hey, I ain't poked that guy I knew in middle school in a long, long time. Lemme do that now."

= for a doctor to look at me all cray because I want a copy of my own damn medical records. Don't look at me like that, playa. You make enough damn money. Now throw that shit on the copier and I'll be on my way.

= to order Diet Coke and the waiter not warn you that shit is really Diet Pepsi.

= for businesses to require a minimum purchase on credit cards. Pretty sure that shit is against y'all's contract with the credit card company.

Check out Brunch with Amber and A Complete Waste of Makeup for more ...

if you knew me

greetings.

first of all, my day started with two three four things that are awesome:
1) i didn't get up any last night with low blood sugar.
2) the song in my head when i woke up was "today was a good day" by ice cube.
3) i had a voice mail from the dentist. called back. they wanna send me a $45 check.
4) my blood sugar was 107 when i got up, and according to my sensor, it had stayed stable all night.
holla!


anyhoozle,
not sure who started these "if you knew me" posts, but i've seen them at casey's and drazil's.

i love posts like this because you can learn more about people, and because y'all know i have a thing for lists.

here we go ...

if you knew me, you would know that i am so grateful for this blog and my camera because they bring me tons of joy and make me feel like "me", which i think i may have lost there for a hot minute. having my camera has helped me to see the beauty in the things of everyday, and what a great artist God is.

if you knew me, you would know that i have been diabetic since october of '88. I was 5 years old.

if you knew me, you would know that in the last say 5 years or so, i cannot attend a full church service without crying. i cry a lot about non-sad things, such as when the US gymnastics team won gold. totally cried.

if you knew me, you would know that i sometimes feel paranoid because i don't understand why God gave me & anj something so magical. i think some people go through their whole life and never find true, true love and it breaks my heart.

if you knew me, you would know that i hate the sweet, goopy part that everyone else seems to love. i spread jelly very, very thinly on toast. i barely drizzle pancake syrup. i like jelly donuts, but squeeze most of the jelly out. i do not like the white part of oreos.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Pinterest

 if you knew me, you would know that i feel freaked out everyday because i'm not sure i'm doing what i'm "supposed to do" with my life, or anything in it.

if you knew me, you would know that i made it to the county spelling bee in elementary school, and that one of the words was "endurance" which i would have spelled "indurance" if i hadn't seen a video about it that morning in pe. also, another word was "colonel". i got it right, but i kicked myself because i didn't first ask if they wanted "kernel" or "colonel". risky.

if you knew me, you would know that i went by my first name for the first and last time in my life in the town we lived in when i was in 9th grade. it drove me nuts that they pronounced my name "bay-eth" for one, and for another, i figured, "hell, why not?"

if you knew me, you would know that in 5th grade, i just knew i was going to be a fashion designer when i grew up. i had an entire box of index cards with outfits that i'd created drawn on them, and i wore shit like this to school:

if you knew me, you would know that also when i was in 5th grade (busy year for me), i passed out from low blood sugar after field day, and my mom came to school to pick me up. she was on the way to raleigh to pick up money that she'd won from being the correct caller to a radio station.

if you knew me, you would know that i absolutely cannot handle the feel of peach skin on my teeth. the fuzziness? no. just the thought of it makes my teeth hurt.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Pinterest

if you knew me, you would know that when i was about 7 and my brother was about 2, he jumped into the deep end of a friend's pool. i jumped in to save him and i remember what his face looked like under the water and it scared the shit out of me. he can swim now. :)

if you knew me, you would know that i dream every night for what seems like all night long. often those dreams are about junking, thrift stores, flea markets, and old vintage goodies.

if you knew me, you would know that despite my love of the pontoon song, and the fact that we used to live on the lake, i absolutely do not actually love lake water due to the potential presence of snakes. however, i have not always been this way. in 9th grade, when we lived on the lake, i would notice a little snake head popped up in the water under the pier, and i would just swim out away from it. now, that would probably give me a heart attack while in the water. i will get in lake water if it's out in the middle of the water, there are other people splashing around nearby, if i have a float, or to get in long enough to pee, and get back on the boat.

if you knew me, you would know that i am in love with rap music, mostly old school, and that i have a bomb ass black biggie tshirt. {black tshirt, duh, i think we all know biggie's black.}

if you really knew me, you would know that those are indeed my feet in the header, and those boots are possibly my most favorite thing in my closet. that and the purse hubs gave me for my birthday last year.

deuces.

dear ________,

dear blood sugar:

why are you high? i didn't raise you like this.

dear good dreams:

why do you show up RIGHT before the alarm goes off? WHAT the deal?

dear next year:

i know you got dis.

dear p***s:

i don't think i like you anymore. you used to watch me shave ... {forgive me for writing that. every time i read these "letter" posts, i think of it.}

dear dude who hit my mama's car with no insurance, and with sister/car owner who also had no insurance:

i hope the hell they take your damn licenses and you have to pay for your slack ass decision making. but prolly not, because we live in america where the government has made it so people can pretty much do whatever the hell they want and the rest of us can pay for it for them.

dear mr. fantasy:

play us a tune.

dear. mista. president:

i'm writin you because ... shit is still real ******** in my neighborhood. {always did love some tupac}

dear adobe lightroom:

i'm really excited that i was able to purchase you at a discount. maybe now i can use the money i saved to sign up for some classes on how to use you.

dear adobe tv:

that chick who does y'all's how-to's for lightroom is in need of some aesthetic love.

dear lil wayne's family that i saw in roxboro cookin on a grill, drankin a bottled brew, swattin flies, all without even GETTIN UP FROM THE CHAIR, on the front porch, bout to get hit by a car wit some younguns swingin on a tire swing:

i SO wanted to capture that shiz wit the nikon, but i was afraid you might think i was makin fun of y'all. not the case. shit was epic. pure awesomeness.

dear doritos:

your level of perfection and flawlessness can only be described by a word that ain't even been thought of yet. and you and ice cold diet mt. dew in a can? soul mates. clearly. oh - and don't ever let anybody tell you that you're played out. you are at your best in your original flava.

dear bird who keeps flyin into my window at work:

you are dumb as a hay rake.

dear brody:

it's nasty how you carry your ball around and then freak out when it's missing like it's a pacifier and then roll it around in your mouth, throwin it to the back of your throat and then somewhat gagging while you get it adjusted. it's just a ball. seriously there, shug.

dear nice red headed pharmacist at cvs:

i really appreciate that you are always patient and in a good mood. it's as if you get paid to do your job and you chose that career for yourself. also, as a result of your kindness and patience, i have successfully fought off the urge to hate you because of your "lilly" outfits and pearls. much love.

dear dude who carved a 7 ft ram and then put it on sale on craig's list for $3000.

wtf, dude? did your mama drop you on your head? 

dear person who {might} buy said ram:

you too, are dumb as a hay rake.

dear waiters and dudes sittin on barstools, and men gawkers alike:

just because you are typically surrounded by unbathed haggards wearin no bra and some sweatpants does not mean it's cool to straight cold stare down a shugpie while she tryin to eat. or go pee in peace. seriously. get cinemax. did you ever have a mother?

dear blog readers:

i'm gonna cut myself off for now. you're welcome.

Word. a jordan-inspired post.

Today's post is inspired by my friend Jordan's post. First of all, my world brightened up the day Jordan decided to blog. You see, Jordan is one of my hub's college roomies. They lived in a mayjahly sketch ass house called "Lord Berk". Jordan is blunt, sarcastic, and analytic. And ... hilarious. I admire him greatly because he just says it. I hope to be more like him as time goes by.

Anyhoo - his post today was about phrases and gestures and jokes. More specifically, ones he hates. But it got me to thinkin ... I was analyzing some random (mostly southern) phrases the other day, and I thought, "Who in the hell started this?" and sometimes, "What does it even mean?"

1) She look like she been rode hard and put up wet. (Shortened version: "She looks hard." I find myself saying this more often than I'd like.)

2) Tighter than Dick's hatband.

3) You're old enough for your wants not to hurt you. (Totally sayin this to my kids one day.)

4) Busier than a one armed paper hanger. (Stepdad says this. He's from Ohio. ;) )

5) Tight as a tick on a dog's ass.

6) Colder'n a witch's t****y in a brass bra.

7) You can't take chicken shit and make chicken salad.

8) Her hair is flat as a fritter. 

Clearly, there are 6 majillion others. Leave one in the comments. I dare you. 

Also, I may have recently fallen victim to words such as "totes", "snark" and "natch". Two of those are the fault of Anj Davis. But, I think more common than hating the words/phrases themselves, we more likely want to punch the people who say them. Therefore, the phrase itself becomes annoying as hell. Know what I mean?

lots of sax, cheaters, and an amateur in the white house

duh. you dono?

1) this weekend, me and the Hubs Davis went to the airport overlook. there was an older man parked in his truck beside us. he struck up a conversation with us, and he shared that he drives up about four times a year (from about an hour away) to watch the planes. but, he is terrified of flying and said you couldn't pay him enough to "fly in one of them thangs". isn't it interesting? one is more likely to die in a car accident than in a plane crash.

2) children write things that are unintentionally inappropriate/humorous .... in a letter to ben roethlisberger: "Do you get sax a lot?" ... aka ... "Do you get sacked a lot?"

3) my brother's dog is a freak. she comes over and chases Brody around and tries to basically lick the entire inside of his mouth with her too-big-for-her-mouth tongue. freak, i say. i seriously became nauseated.

4) as i was driving this weekend, i was reminded once again what a blessing it is to live in such a beautiful place. i love nc. here's to hoping that our "image" of being backwoods and redneck is keeping people who think shit like that somewhere else.

5) so far, i have tried gluten free pizzas from mellow mushroom and brixx. mellow mushroom = tasty, but the texture is a little different, and it's not good reheated. brixx = major difference in texture and not good. that's just my two cents. has anyone tried domino's?

6) i hate it when people try to guilt trip you every time you are around them. then they are baffled as to why you don't want to hang out all the time.

7) the charlotte knights baseball stadium is not in charlotte. it is not even in nc. weird, right?

8) i wish you could buy mixed nuts without the cashews. they are sweet and soft and dis.gust.ing.

 

9) i much prefer waylon over johnny. blasphemy in austin, apparently. sue me.

10) i love anj davis. i think he smells delicious. he will be embarrassed that i wrote this.

11) now unc's got african american studies classes goin on ... MINUS an actual professor and real grades. nice. am i on glue, or is this for real?

12) The Amateur - I have not read this. And I clearly won't. But the thought of Oprah bein pissed because she prostituted herself out to his campaign and now they don't want her ass over for supper makes me smile. Duh. What was she thankin?

 

Snarkfest in Shugville

 

I am SO DAMN TIRED of hearin about Amendment One - especially plastered all over Facebook. Not because of the fact that I may not agree with these peeps, but because they post their political opinions EVERY FIVE MINUTES. Apparently, they are under the impression that some people are lost and need their political "guidance".

I am sick of people asking me to repeat myself 800 THOUSAND times. I am sick of people asking me to repeat myself 800 THOUSAND times. "Umm, what did you say we are supposed to do?"

PLEASE - mind yo own damn business. If you have to wonder if a friend wants your advice, they don't. Seriously. Hush.

More on that - don't be tellin people to do some shit you wouldn't even do yourself. 

I am pretty much ready to live in BFE.

Please communicate with other people at your company about how they JUST talked to the customer, before you send the same customer a letter sticking your foot waaaaaay on down your throat because you clearly are lacking knowledge of the 30 minute conversation that has already been had regarding the issue.

Do the job you get paid for. Nobody else wants to do it for you.

I wish people who made decisions had to actually be in the shoes of the people for whom they are making said decisions. Oh, and had to trade paychecks for a year. The tune would change real quick-like, I feel certain.

And on a really random note, inspired by a conversation at work:

I find it ironic that a gynecologist's (yes - this one is about gynecologists) last name includes the word "vulgar", don't y'all? It is also somewhat disturbing that there is another gyno who is widely known for being "that gyno who looks like Garth Brooks". 

What goes through one's mind when one decides, "Heyyyyy. I'm gonna pick this guy to take care of my lady parts because he looks like a fat, old, retired country singer who cheated on his wife"? Or for that matter, what makes somebody decide, "I know! I'm gonna be a gyno when I grow up!" But hey, somebody's gotta do it, right?

That is all. 

Roses really smell like Boo Boo Boo

I really wanted to blog today. So I hit "new post" and have been staring at this screen for quite awhile now. I hate when this happens. You people out there who have "blog planners" where you are with it enough to think ahead - I admire you. More often than not, this here bloggy is a brain dump. Buckle up for RANDOM.

Here are some recents:

1) What the hell is the deal with all these random "Hey Girl" Ryan Gosling pictures? I don't think he's attractive. But, some of the "Hey Girls" are funny I suppose.

2) I bought two pairs of "fake Jack Rogers". Twenty dolla. I am pleased to announce that in my humble opinion, the fake ones are more comfortable, and I don't feel sick about having to pick between silver and gold because at that price, girlfriend can have both! It's the little things, friends.

 

 3) I THOROUGHLY enjoyed the "Bone Thugs N Harmony" channel on Pandora last night. Thoroughly. Good ish. I LOVE me some Bone. Not to mention other delicious treats that were thrown in. When's the last time you enjoyed "Roses" by Outkast? Not recently enough, I can assure you.

4) Totally:

5) I love that Hubs Davis comes home from workin outside all day, leaves this on the steps ...

... and takes a nap on the couch in his skivvies. Unfortunately, I will not be sharing a pic of Hubs taking a nap on the couch in his skivvies. As a matter of fact, I am taking the, "better to ask for forgiveness than permission" for mentioning this on the blog at all. Wish me luck.

6) I feel motivated, and wash clothes. I even put them into the dryer afterwards. But, I fail when it comes to actually taking them out and folding. Then I end up drying them again to get the wrinkles out. #notverygreen

7) It is weird that "cannot" is considered correct as one word or two: "can not". Why is that? And - I wish they would pick a "correct" way to use an apostrophe at the end of a singular noun ending in "s". Gyah. I HATE when there is no "right" answer.

8) Yesterday mornin, I cheated on my no gluten diet and SA-VORED a sausage, egg & cheese BISCUIT. Oh. My. Lawd. Beyond mind blowing.

9) I wish I was at a bomb celebration like this for Cinco de Mayo:

Instead, I had some lame nachos that I wish I hadn't ate. PS - I'm pretty sure Mexicans do not celebrate Cinco de Mayo. (To see more gems like the ones above, read the Epic 80's Pig Pickin Post.)

10) Peace out. I'm goin to get some ice cream. 

UPDATE: The fake Jack Rogers can be found at Shoe Department. (Shoe Show is the same company, but around here, Shoe Show didn't have them - only Shoe Dept.) :)

my weekend ...

* a Zaxby's grilled chicken salad and some toppings off some pizza (no gluten, no carb spikage)

* a birthday party for the bro

* Brody nipping his ball in the air ... BAM!! ... right between hubs' eyes

* on that same night -  the back of my skull + lift-up/roll-over while Anj is also rolling over + Anj's face = Anj's bloody nose at 1:00 am

Exhibit A: pillowcase

* a new dress

* car accident = dude who looked hypnotized driving his car head-on into my mom's car - at a gas pump

* $16 worth of BBQ and stew, and a 2-liter Diet Coke that we never consumed

* driving over an hour for a reunion ... and some confusion that maybe wasn't a reunion after all?

* some senior portraits

* back at the same BBQ place about an hour and a half later - this time for burgers - that we actually did eat.

* good food, good friends, a couple episodes of Total Blackout, and a dog named Bo

* some sausage, eggs, and cheese scrambled together

* spring cleaning of vehicles party - Sylvia looks fresh (and she got some fresh air in her tires, thx to hubs) and Anj's truck got a new Mr. Wuf sticker ... whoop! whoop!

* after cleanin up Sylvia, sweatin and lookin funk, I decided I might as well get my redneck woman on and get some sun on my casper white legs

* Brody also enjoyed the sunshine, and enjoyed the latest from Southern Living 

Hope your weekend was full of fabulous.

It's Ok ...

 Hello Sugar Pies! Linking up today ... 






* For our 3 year anniversary, Anj and I skipped the fancy dinner and instead went to Bad Daddy's for delicious fatty pie burgers and bomb ass tater tots with awesome dipping sauce and gluten free beer. (It's also okay that we used the timer on our camera to take too many pictures. So patient, the hubs.)

* I have 3 weeks off from work, and so far have done very little involving leaving my house.

* I drink a lot of Caffeine Free Diet Mt. Dew - at least I'm not cheating on my anti-caffeine mission.

* We had chili for like 6 lunches/suppers in a row. Shit is good.

* To tie a Walmart bag around your hair to avoid messin your hair up in the pourin down rain. (Not me, but some fine ladies there were doing just that.)

* To wear the hubs' Hanes V-neck white T-shirts ... hello, Pinterest:

(I was at Walmart stockin up on more)

* To be thinkin about what I want for the bday (in July...)