09 November 2011

A List of Me

 I am stepping out of my comfort zone by right aligning this post. (Is that what it's called?)
I worry daily about the damage I'm doing to my organs with high blood sugars, coffee and diet mountain dew.
I am terrified of losing people I love, finding out I can't have kids, or losing a child one day.
I feel that God is working to teach me, in general, to let go and let Him - this life isn't really mine to live anyway.
I wake up everyday wondering what it is that I am really "supposed" to do.
I feel like I have lots of creative stuff that needs to get out and has no where to go.
I love my husband more than I could ever put into words or possibly communicate - to him or anyone else.
I know that God knows every single thing about me and every single tiny little thing that I need. 
I also know that He is in control, but it is still difficult for me to be patient.
His timing is perfect and nothing is a coincidence.
The hardest part of being gluten-free is giving up biscuits.
The hardest part of being diabetic The one thing I wish I could have without any thinking or concern on my part would be sweet tea.
I think it is disgusting that people watch and enjoy reality tv.
I feel guilty because I should know and care more about politics.
As a general statement, I find dogs to be much cuter than babies.
It's disgusting when people put their kids before their spouse.
I fantasize on a daily basis about Anj and I buying an old farm house, and a tractor and having a garden where we grow things.
I hate drama.
I said I'd never let a dog sleep in the bed.
Brody sleeps in my bed every night. But not under the covers.
I am jealous of people who live on a working farm or a ranch.
Part of me thinks it would have been fun to do animal science while I was at NC State.
I don't own any item at all that is baby blue.
I don't feel old at 28, but when I think about it, I feel like time is running out and I should have done more by now.
I genuinely feel blessed that God chose to have me grow up in the south.
I'm pretty certain feminism did more damage than good to the American home and marriage.
I procrastinate at everything imaginable. I am usually late.
I think God sees our worship in every action everyday - how we treat people - especially those closest to us, because those are often the most difficult.
I was born on the Fourth of July, and when I was little, my meemaw told me the fireworks were for me. 
It made me feel special.
I like being the oldest sibling.
I like taking care of other people.
I wish we didn't need money to live, and I had time to visit people and a limitless budget to send people prizes in the mail.
Writing lists makes me feel like I'm spring cleaning my brain.
It takes a great deal of effort for me to keep things organized - at work, at home, schedules, calendars, "to do" lists, all of it. People who maintain organization amongst chaos fascinate me.
"Opening" stockings at Christmas is more fun to me than opening gifts.
Tomorrow is my Friday.
I would much rather people hurt my feelings than me hurt theirs.
I really want a good camera to capture as many things about life as I can.
I think children should be encouraged to appreciate the beauty in the simple things in life, and not be obsessed with material things, and chasing everybody else's dreams.
I truly believe the full moon causes drama and makes things go whack.
I don't care if that makes me sound crazy. 
The older I get, the less I care what people think.

Dear linky friends from Living in Yellow - my apologies for this being more than 25, I'd just written this post recently when I came across the link up. Hope you enjoy!


Miss Lizzie said...

Sounds like a pretty cool person to me :-)

I agree with a lot of the things you said. I would recommend getting a good camera. I want one too. I don't think I'm old but I wonder why I am so behind everyone else at 26. But then I look around and realize nearly every person in our generation is struggling. I actually read somewhere recently that 75% of people between the ages of 25-35 need help from their families and 50% of people our age live at home with their families. That makes me feel better about where I'm at anyway.

I think it's funny that you worry that you can't have kids because I've spent most of my life worrying that I'm going to have kids. Haha. Now I have stepchildren so I get to see Tracy's perspective in full circle. It's funny how life does that.

Patience is the number one thing I struggle with in my life and I often get mad with God for not giving me what I want right now just to find that when I get what I want it's exactly when I need it and often I'm so happy I didn't get what I thought I wanted when God gives me what I needed. Haha. I really believe in the statement that the you can either see everything as a miracle or nothing as a miracle so I agree that nothing is a coincidence.

So I'm sure that one day you will have your farm house and tractor and garden and kids exactly when it's perfect for you to have it and when you can appreciate it the most.

I'm so excited about Christmastime this year. About every other year I get in the spirit of it. But like you said I don't think we should teach kids to be obsessed with material things. And by feeling and brooding about being poor the last few years I think that's exactly what Justin and I inadvertently teach.

There's nothing wrong with believing the 4th of July is for you. It's great. It forces everyone you know to remember your birthday!

I also feel blessed to grow up in the south. I never thought I would say that. As much as I crave moving to California I am so happy to have the south to call home. It's a very grounding and humble feeling.

Ok. That's all haha. Mom needs the computer and she's standing around making me feel guilty about it.

Love you! I'm so happy you blog.

Southern Belle said...

I love you for blogging about things like this. You're an amazing person and a wonderful blogger, I'm addicted, I probably drive your brother crazy cause I'm always reading my favorite parts of your blog to him (whether he wants to know or not).

P.S. - Mack refuses to believe in dogs sleeping in peoples bed but Carley Sue sleeps in mine every night till he goes to bed(not under the covers of course).

Denise Pacurar said...

Thanks for sharing your heart and thoughts again!! I agree that it can be soo hard to be patient and surrender all to God and know He will take care of us!! But hang in there, He sure knows what He's doing!!!!!

xoxo Denise