reasons people don't call me girly

But it's not as intense as it was as you can see evidenced in this photo:

You see, friends. I know my nails are a) done. b) pink. - which sort of contradicts this post title. Screw Nostradamus, this madness happenin here on ma nails could signal the end of the world. But, what you can't see in the photo is how badly I want to grab them with my teeth and rip the paint off, followed by intense biting down to the quick. But I need to stop. Right? So, I'm sitting here, staring at my nails, fighting the urge to attack them, thinkin, "I feel like bloggin. But, I don't really have anything appropriate to say." Then, I thought, "Gyahhhh. I wonder how long I can stand my nails like this. Hopefully the fact that I put forth effort to paint them will keep me from biting them and making them look haggard x10." Then, I kept on thinkin, "How did I come from someone so prissy?" And, this blog post was born. I give to you:

Reasons Why People Don't Call Me Girly

Enjoy.

* I HATE the mall. Well, I strongly dislike it. I like to go about once every 6 months when I know exactly what I'm looking for. And it's because I can't find it anywhere outside the mall. And plus, the mall makes me thirsty. And I hate water, so I inevitably end up consuming mass amounts of Diet Coke. Fail.

* I am not addicted to stuff that other chicks (apparently) love ... Grey's, The Real ho-wives of BlahBlahBlah, Kardashians, Bachelor, blah, blah, blah

* I pretty much dislike pink - especially in baby clothes ... I don't understand a couple of things:
 1) who started pink = girl, and blue = boy? Guess what? Not only am I not a pink-lover, I ain't down with baby blue either;
 2)coating an entire room in pink ... lace, ruffles, bows, ribbons, anything "princess" (die) ... I can handle a little floral, mixed with some stripes or something ... and a dash of pink occasionally, but not more than a dash.What's wrong with purple and green and yellow and pastels?

* Even though I constantly teach youngsters how inaprops it is to belch out, I totally do it all the time.

* I prefer beer, then Beam & Coke, then wine ... but I usually find wine to be nauseating and it makes my pulse race and my head throb.

* I don't allow other people to touch my diabetic feet to paint them. I've done this literally like twice in my life. GERMS. GROSS. And I can do that shiz at home for free. And Andrew will massage my feet if I ask him to.

* Monogramming must be kept to a minimum - flasks, keepsakes, LL Bean shiz.

* spas, massages, etc ... again, weirds me out. I don't want anybody rubbin me down that I ain't married to.

* I will pee outside if I have to (i.e., tailgating/mudslingin/after a second date on the way home and the nearest facility is waaaaaay over yonder somewhere. No thanks.

* I don't count calories or fat grams and eat rabbit food for lunch. NOT because I think I'm the hotness, but because I love food and I'm not willing to add more shiz to my "keep up with this" list. Just eat the damn fries. Thank you. And bring me some ranch to go with.

* Oftentimes, I am the one who is being rowdy/shouting obscenities at the other team at NC State football games. Sometimes, I think Andrew is genuinely embarrassed.

* I HATE heels. Both tarheels and pumps ;) Now, let me be clear. I think they are hot. But, I DO NOT wear them, unless I am in someone's wedding or attending some function that lasts no more than a few hours. My cowboy hoots are the highest heels I actually wear. I don't know how you shugpies wear them painful ass shoes. Ouch.

* I cuss like a sailor. I am starting to feel some guilt about this, however. It is a work in progress.

* I didn't give a royal rat's ass about the royal wedding

I DO, however enjoy the following:

* shopping at flea markets, thrift stores, consignment shops, and yard sales where I will purchase vintage fabrics that contain florals

* makeup - foundation, eyes, lips (although I didn't start wearing it until college) .. I don't get into "skin products"

* hair - so ready for this shiz to be long enough to pull up into some top knot - so admire you chicks with long, thick, magical hair

* acupuncture - my version of spa/pedicure/"me" time
 
* I don't so much mind painted piggies - but I like to do them myself, thank you.

* I do love me a leather handbag and some boots.

* Bachelorette weekends/girls' trips? Yes, please. Get. away. throw. down. 


Interesting because I totally did not play sports. (Except one random year of volleyball because I was "tall" {5'6" !!!} at the tiny tiny tiny high school I attended freshman year). That's right. I'm not girly OR athletic. Also, my mama is pretty prissy (or is high maintenance a better term?) She has a job that requires "dressing up" - everyday, skirts, hoses, accessorizing and some type of heel. Annnnnd she loves some girly decor and thinks my burps are absolutely horrendous. (I've caught her burping like that a handful of times, though. If this is my last post it's because my mom hid my body after reading this). She did her best to make me wear tights, but eventually the crotch grabbing from the incessant riiiiiding got old. And dance class? No dice. Just wasn't worth the weekly sob fest.

Also, one of my best friends is mayjahly girltastic, but I guess we just get where the line is in each others' taste. She was my MOH in my wedding, and her mother was our director, and they both had to BEG me to get my nails painted for the festivities. But I drew the line at an eyebrow wax. Hell to the naw. I've seen how some people look after some cray cray gets a hold of their eyebrows.

To each his her own.

because I felt like it, that's why

Warning - this is fittin to be a brain dump for realz. I have some sort of issue where I have to just list things out - whether or not there is a purpose, or I accomplish anything tangible from listing things out ... is irrelevant.

* I love this here blog. I started it as a way to get out some creative shiz that crowds my brain and keeps me from fallin asleep at night. I look over and within literally 7 or 8 minutes of layin down, Anj is out cold. Meanwhile, my mind is goin 800 miles a minute with random thoughts that have no point. Also, I love photographs and shiz that's not really photographs, like smart ass someecards that are just funny and that is all. To me, the bloggage is like an online scrapbook minus all the expensive shit that I will throw away or waste years later (hello wedding scraps).

* I am trying to drink less caffeine. It sucks major. I can think of several things in this world that I would prefer to give up. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. I can't do my job without it. How do people live that way?

* I thought I would seriously have a heart attack today when I realized that the HR department for my company had EFFED UP YET ANOTHER ASPECT OF MY HEALTHCARE. Fine. Don't you worry. I will be out of your hair soon, idiots. (That is strictly directed to HR, just to be clear).

* Not only are some bitches crazy, but what's really whack, is that girls will act craziER for the sake of their friends, even if they themselves do not actually want to be a psycho beezy. I once knew a chick in college who thrived on girl drama. Not just hers. But other people's lives that ain't have NATHAN to do with her. She would expect you to act like a cray cray lunatic to some girl she didn't like simply because you were friends with her. "Just wanted to make sure you were being a girl." WTF DOES THAT MEAN?

* I think red-headed babies are awesome. Having one must be like finding a four leaf clover, right? I mean, you can know the sex, but you don't know about the hair until shugpie is IRL.

* My hubs is about to take a mayjahly long flight across THE WORLD. Jacks my nerves up. Last year, he was mid-travel for this same trip over his birthday. This year, the trip will occur over his birthday AGAIN. He flies out tomorrow. Please pray about this. Between the HR mishap, this long (distance and time apart) trip and damn NC State basketball, I need some medication for ma nerves.

* My endocrinologist told me to bolus (take insulin) 30 minutes ahead of eating. This is mildly problematic for me because I am hungry when I'm hungry and I want to eat RIGHT THEN. So, what I started doing, is bolusing for 30 grams of carbs when I am juuuust starting to think of food, then, I decide how I want to "spend" the 30 grams of carbs 30 minutes later. (Sometimes I only make it to like 15 or 20 minutes, but it's better than nothin, right?) Tonight's 30g were spent on: a hotdog weenie with chili, cheese and mustard, some salt & vinegar chips and half a banana.

* I am trying (still, at age 28) to stop biting my nails. It sucks. They have like 2mm of length on them right now, and I swear I constantly fight the urge to draw blood from my own flesh because the feel of them being there is making me nutso.

* I enjoy writing with freshly sharpened, nearly full length #2 pencils. I also enjoy the way they smell. I will write out lists in my best handwriting using no abbreviations so that I can use said pencils.

* I think my job is giving me ADD. I ALWAYS feel like something is past due/not turned in/forgotten/I'm about to get yelled at. (Although I have never actually ever been yelled at while at work ... this is just how my brain is. Did I mention I'm trying to cut back on caffeine? But cutting back on caffeine makes my brain more sludgy. Trapped.)

* When watching Pretty Little Liars, I can't stop thinking about this: IRL, what time would a high school chick have to get up to curl her hair and put on all that makeup everyday? And, who gets to just walk around with coffee and have like 20 minutes between every class? I know it's TV, but like I said, it's how my brain works. I wish it had an "off" switch.

* I don't give a damn about snow. Well, I like it, but not much. This pretty much sums it up, sadly.

*As I type, Brody is outside my bedroom door, which is not pushed shut far enough to actually latch ... he keeps nudging it about every two minutes, draggin his paws up against it, and then breathing heavily under the door ... the door opens more and more with each nudge.

And tomorrow is Wednesday.

25. Yall know I love me a list.

1) I've had two serious relationships in my life. Both guys had the same name. Thankfully, the first one went by a nickname. I married the second.

2) If you need money from the government, then yo ass needs a drug test.

3) I was born on Independence Day. I was tricked into believing the fireworks were all for me until about age 9 or so.

4) I hate politics.

5) There is something in Nyquil that makes me sweat. (Is this normal for everyone? I don't have a fever ... ???)

6) I can make a noise that sounds just like a horse galloping.

7) People ask me fairly frequently to use my voice to get everyone in the room to shut up so they can speak.

8) I think people not disciplining their kids is a much bigger problem than who is in office. (See #4).

9) I have several nicknames such as Beef, Pookie, Bertha, and Shug (shocker, I know).

10) I've been Type 1 diabetic since I was 5.

11) I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was little. Now, I wear jeans about 99% of the time.

12) I'd rather have a gift certificate to the flea market than the mall any day.

13) Diet Coke is much better than Diet Pepsi. But Diet Mt. Dew is a magic all its own.

14) I have a scar where I got my belly button pierced and it got mayjahly infected.

15) I cuss like a sailor, but feel guilty and am (kind of) trying to work on it.

16) I love the NC Stizzle Wolfpack and plan to give away any baby blue items that people may give us if we ever have a boy.

17) I don't love cats. They remind me of this girl I went to high school with who always came up to people and rubbed them on the arm as she greeted them and sort of cuddled up next to them while wearing a tiny skirt and knee boots.

18) I wish we lived in an old farmhouse in the promised land, aka ???

19) I'm really not this conceited, I just like writing lists.

20) I spend too much time wondering if something I did or said came across the wrong way, which is ironic because I blog.

21) I crave french fries/hash browns/tater tots daily. It never goes away. This is a problem.

22) If I could alter one thing about my appearance, I'd have long, thick, gorgeous hair.

23) The characteristic I despise most in people is fake-ass-ness.

24) I eat foods as an excuse to use a dipping sauce such as ranch, Chicfila sauce and McDonald's BBQ sauce.

25) I once won a bicycle at the fair in my hometown and some crazy bitches thought my meemaw rigged the drawing because she was helping run a booth that year.

Pardon any proofing errors - blame it on the Nyquil.

Deuces.

Why Do I Blog? and other current thoughts

How deep and philosophical. 

Psych.

But seriously, I don't really remember why I started blogging. I didn't have any devastating life change going on that I needed to tell the world about. I wasn't making anything that everyone needed to know about. The best I can think is I love to talk, and blogging is talking via keyboard. I literally feel sometimes like I have so much junk in my head (to do lists, creative project ideas, snarks, this-is-so-amazing-I-have-to-tell-people-so-they-can-try-it's, etc, etc, etc,) that I just started writing I guess. 

It's also like a virtual scrapbook. You can make it look pretty and document memories and how you were feeling about anything at anytime ... and there it is, all stored away via the internet.

But, then, you start to realize, people know who you are, and you pay attention to who is reading because they comment or tell you, "I love your blog!" (And that feels wonderful to hear.)

But along with that, comes pressure. Should I say this? Will I get fired? Who will read this and take it the wrong way and get their feelings hurt? Or get pissed off? on and on and on ...

Then, of course, you can't help but wonder, "How do people make money at this?" Well, obviously that is not my reason to continue blogging. Although, I do love you, 33 followers! xoxoxo!!

But, it's nice to get comments that people know exactly where you're coming from. Or if you could just write one post that makes people feel like they aren't the only one who feels that way. Or sharing a recipe that someone fell in love with. Basically writing anything that people can identify with makes you feel like writing that post was worthwhile. At least that's how I feel.

Although no one wants to read about someone whining 24-7, I know I appreciate you bloggers out there who tell the truth. Clearly, you can't reveal your entire life's circumstances because we have to protect our privacy - and that of others. Sometimes I'd love to write about things just to get it off my chest, but I can't. Because along with telling my own business, which I don't care who knows it, I would also be telling the business of other people involved. People I love.

So, today, friends, I am in a funk sort of a mood. My patience is being tested. I don't get why things are the way they are. I wonder if God is showing me that I made the wrong choice. I wonder if there is a such thing as being 100% certain of the decisions you make. But, I will be fine. I will have my mini pity party and then I will stop and look at all I have to be thankful for, and I will remember that GOD IS IN CONTROL. HIS PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MINE. And this is true for us all, NO MATTER THE SITUATION.

Thanks,  Pinterest 

I'm thankful for these ...

Andrew * my endocrinologist * health insurance * the people I work for and with * Brody * good music * blogging (and it's free!) * pumpkin spice lattes * NC State * MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS * people who love me * people for me to love * acupuncture * when I pray for God to show me how to be thankful/grateful/patient/hopeful, He does * the Raleigh Flea Market * being creative * 

short and random ... there are hundreds of millions of others, clearly ... 

Hope everyone has a fabulous day.

xo,

A List of Me

 I am stepping out of my comfort zone by right aligning this post. (Is that what it's called?)

I worry daily about the damage I'm doing to my organs with high blood sugars, coffee and diet mountain dew.

I am terrified of losing people I love, finding out I can't have kids, or losing a child one day.

I feel that God is working to teach me, in general, to let go and let Him - this life isn't really mine to live anyway.

I wake up everyday wondering what it is that I am really "supposed" to do.

I feel like I have lots of creative stuff that needs to get out and has no where to go.

I love my husband more than I could ever put into words or possibly communicate - to him or anyone else.

I know that God knows every single thing about me and every single tiny little thing that I need. 

I also know that He is in control, but it is still difficult for me to be patient.

His timing is perfect and nothing is a coincidence.

The hardest part of being gluten-free is giving up biscuits.

The hardest part of being diabetic The one thing I wish I could have without any thinking or concern on my part would be sweet tea.

I think it is disgusting that people watch and enjoy reality tv.

I feel guilty because I should know and care more about politics.

As a general statement, I find dogs to be much cuter than babies.

It's disgusting when people put their kids before their spouse.

I fantasize on a daily basis about Anj and I buying an old farm house, and a tractor and having a garden where we grow things.

I hate drama.

I said I'd never let a dog sleep in the bed.

Brody sleeps in my bed every night. But not under the covers.

I am jealous of people who live on a working farm or a ranch.

Part of me thinks it would have been fun to do animal science while I was at NC State.

I don't own any item at all that is baby blue.

I don't feel old at 28, but when I think about it, I feel like time is running out and I should have done more by now.

I genuinely feel blessed that God chose to have me grow up in the south.

I'm pretty certain feminism did more damage than good to the American home and marriage.

I procrastinate at everything imaginable. I am usually late.

I think God sees our worship in every action everyday - how we treat people - especially those closest to us, because those are often the most difficult.

I was born on the Fourth of July, and when I was little, my meemaw told me the fireworks were for me. 

It made me feel special.

I like being the oldest sibling.

I like taking care of other people.

I wish we didn't need money to live, and I had time to visit people and a limitless budget to send people prizes in the mail.

Writing lists makes me feel like I'm spring cleaning my brain.

It takes a great deal of effort for me to keep things organized - at work, at home, schedules, calendars, "to do" lists, all of it. People who maintain organization amongst chaos fascinate me.

"Opening" stockings at Christmas is more fun to me than opening gifts.

Tomorrow is my Friday.

I would much rather people hurt my feelings than me hurt theirs.

I really want a good camera to capture as many things about life as I can.

I think children should be encouraged to appreciate the beauty in the simple things in life, and not be obsessed with material things, and chasing everybody else's dreams.

I truly believe the full moon causes drama and makes things go whack.

I don't care if that makes me sound crazy. 

The older I get, the less I care what people think.

Dear linky friends from Living in Yellow - my apologies for this being more than 25, I'd just written this post recently when I came across the link up. Hope you enjoy!