that time i begged hubs to guest post

 Welp, after tons of straight up naggin', Anj Davis agreed to guest post answer some questions in email format. Get it while you can. My two cents are in purple.

What was going through your mind the first time you met Beth?

Not much.  It was a summer evening and I was just trying to hang out and drink some beer.  I remember how loud she was and I thought her personality was really abrasive and in-your-face.

Abrasive?
In-your-face?
That is just silly.

You can read here for my side of the whole 'how we met'.

What would have been a deal breaker right off the bat as far as any interest in a relationship with Beth?

It would have been a deal breaker if she was a yankee.  And I really liked her accent. {<---- vlog, y'all.}

Profound.

If you are a yankee reader, sorry for any offense.

Tell us how the proposal went down.

There wasn't much of a plan.  I had been holding onto the ring for about a month.  Finally I got hotel room in Raleigh and we went out to dinner.  I was thinking we would go out later and I could maybe pop the question on the street somewhere.  But we didn't make it out after dinner.  I'll let Beth tell you why (Hint: it had to do with too many 'bevvies').  I ended up asking her the next morning before we went to breakfast.

It is blowin' my mind how short his response is. 
It was my first year teaching, and he showed up at my school on a Friday afternoon. Anj never gets hot, so I thought it odd that he was bright red and sweating profusely, so I turned the air conditioning on full blast in my classroom. Then I thought it would be brilliant to walk him all over the school and have him meet show him off to anyone that I could find still in the building.

He announced that he had gotten us dinner reservations downtown and a hotel to celebrate our anniversary. So, we go by my house for me to pack my bag. I come down the steps in a dress, you know, just in case we go somewhere nice and I get proposed to. Anj's reply as I'm coming down the steps? "Why are you so dressed up?" Great. Mofo is never going to propose. {These were my own thoughts and my mama's - except hers may not have involved the "mofo" part.} 

Naturally, we start off the evening with a case of Miller Lite in the hotel room. We get to dinner and have more drinks, and after that I was inebriated and feeling irritable because I thought for sure his ass was going to propose and he clearly had no intention of doing so. He kept dilly dallying around, asking if I wanted to go to Mitch's, a bar that we frequented in college, and I was all like, "Ugh. Whatever you want to do, Anj." Soooo, we went back to the hotel where Anj was about to die to turn on the summer olympics. I just passed out in my pissed-off-ness.

The next morning, we decided to get ready and go to breakfast at The Farmer's Market. I showered first, and was standing there peering over into my bag {which was beside Anj's bag}, trying to decide what I wanted to wear. Anj is out of the shower now, acting all cracked out and jittery, wanting to know what I'm "staring" at. I explain that I am merely looking at the clothes in my bag, thinking about what I'm going to wear. Nervous that I am going to stare a hole through his bag and into the ring box, he takes the ring box out.

I stare at him in disbelief, shouting things like, "Shut up! What is that?!" while I back away from him like he's holding a snake.

He is 88 shades of pink at this point, and I am just shocked still.

So, I was pissed that he didn't propose, and then still surprised.

Win. Win.

We get home to my parents'. My mama initially expected the proposal, but after no phone call the night before, she assumed that no such proposal had happened.

I went upstairs and showed her the ring, and she cried like mamas do.
Shortly thereafter phone calls and celebratory festivities ensued.

What are Beth's quirks/habits? Which do you love/which do you hate?

Like:  her cutesy, baby-talk voice, random dance moves, love of old stuff
Hate: smoking when drinking, biting her nails, 'duck face', has to have some kind of liquid refreshment AT ALL TIMES NO EXCEPTIONS. PULL OVER NOW! WAIT! WE CAN'T LEAVE YET! I NEED TO FIX MY CUP WITH MY SPECIAL ICE OUT OF THE ICE TRAYS BECAUSE YOUR ICE FROM THE ICE MAKER STINKS!    {The crossed out part is what he actually said, when I was like, "Whaaaat?!" but it is not in fact what he typed. Therefore, I crossed it out because I was accused of being "disingenuous".}

It's surprising to me that he likes my love of old stuff. I always feel like he thinks I'm just bringin' home more shit to junk up our house. He further clarified that he does not want more shit in our apartment. However, he appreciates that I'm not picky and turnin' my nose up at things that aren't brand new.

I too, hate that I smoke when I drink.

Didn't really realize the nail biting was a thing. I've done it since I was a kid. I have gotten better though, unless I am stressed or pissed.

Me and my beverages? Lemme tell you this, Anj Davis. If my 'beverages' are as high maintenance as I get, you better count your blessins.

And the 'duck face'. Ugh. I wish I could stop.

Tell us how you expect Beth would answer this same question about you:

Hate:  whistling to songs, cold hands/feet, watching sports
Like:   making delicious treats

 I don't hate the watching of sports.

I hate that he watches ALL sports, college level and professional, all year long. I'm serious.

Football, basketball, baseball, tennis, soccer, summer and winter olympics, Nascar, hockey.

If they keepin' score, Anj Davis is watchin' 
{and dancin when his team's doin' well and screamin' expletives if they are losin'}.

He is wrong about the whistling, though. I loooooove it.

The heated mattress pad has helped some with the burying of Anj's cold toes under Beth's warm leg. 
I do, however, hate that we have entire conversations that he doesn't remember. I know he is listening because he is responding to what I am saying. Then, when said event or obligatory function or whatever comes up, he's all like, "What?! You didn't tell me about this." Bullshit, I know I did!

And, I looooove that my Anjpie cooks delicious treats for us all. the. time.
 I am also a huge fan of watching Anj dance in front of the TV during commercial breaks or when his team is doing well.
I love that he puts up with my pickiness with soft drinks.
I love how Anj can rock a sweater vest, and then turn right around and look hot in his Carhartt workpants and boots.

I also get tons of enjoyment watching all the random things that go on in Anj's sleep: the conversations, the eye brow raises, the hand motions, the way he scratches his chest gently for like 5 minutes. The way he sits up, puts his glasses on, lays back down on the pillow. All while sleeping.

What were the hardest adjustments during the first year of marriage??  

Learning to be selfless and empathetic

Tis true, friends.

Marriage is not about you, your friends, your family, your schedule, your job.
Everybody's mama 'nem will have to get over it. It's time to leave the nest.
Your spouse comes before the family you grew up in.
This doesn't mean you have to abandon your family and isolate yourself once you get married, but do what's best for your marriage first, then worry about everybody else. 
If they don't like it, two tears in a bucket, friends. 
They won't be the ones livin' in your unhappy marriage.
Your marriage is your business, not what everybody else thinks.

It's a whole new concept of being half of something, it's not just you anymore.

The sooner you see your spouse as your first-of-kin/best friend/#1 priority, the better off you will be.

What advice/tips do you have for other serious relationships out there that are forced to deal with traveling and/or long distance??

Text/chat throughout the day.  Ignore small disagreements.

Word.

Just make sure your shugpie knows that they are on your mind.

What are Beth's domestic strengths?

Laundry, cleaning when she gets the urge, decorating

He's a good man, y'all because I hate doing laundry, and I feel like I can never stay on top of it.

And it's just the two of us!

I do love me some decor, now!

What do you think Beth would say are your domestic strengths?

Cooking, keeping things neat, grocery shopping

Anj is the shiz with cooking/grocery shopping.

I also really appreciate how organized and proactive he is with our finances.

Neat? ... Hmm, I'm thinking "OCD about certain things" might be a more accurate description.

{I mean that in the most loving way possible, because I am NOT neat about many things anything.}

Name the 5 things that Beth could not give up for a year if her life depended on it.

1. Soft drinks (DMD, CFD Coke, Cherry Coke Zero, etc...this could be the entire answer)
2. Facebook
3. Rap music
4. Blog world
5. Camera

yep, yep, yep, yep & yep
These would be his:
1) peanuts/peanut butter
2) internet {The Wolf Web/Reason/various "Today I was reading this article" sources}
3) Satellite radio with damn Jake Fogelnest & Josiah
4) ESPN, especially "Pardon the Interruption"
5) booze, namely Elijah Craig with Cherry Lime Sundrop and various IPA's

What's one piece of marriage advice you'd give to guys out there?

She comes first in all situations.  All others come second.

This made me tear up when I read it.

Guys {if y'all are readin'}, this is the key to a happy marriage!

This doesn't mean let your wife boss your ass, but her feelings/needs come before everyone else's.

{She should be doing the same for you.}

What's one piece of marriage advice you'd give to girls?

You married a person, not a project.  You will be constantly disappointed if you think you can change that person.

I agree.

Bitches be gettin' on my nerves with this tryin' to change somebody thing.

Get over it, princess! He's dealing with your flaws too!

Where do you see the Davis family in 20 years??

Celebrating NC State's incredible 20 straight national titles in both sports

Naturally.

I've always loved Anj's optimism.

_________________________________________

Marriage isn't for poohs, friends.

I would suggest praying all the way through.

And being thankful every single day for your shugpie.