really, skittles?

nothing like two chicks fighting over a nasty ass walrus to make you want to eat candy.

i seriously gag every time i see and hear this grosstastic commercial.
(which is why i'm inadvertently promoting it by sharing with y'all here on the bloggy, right?)

what the deuuuuuuuuuce, skittles?

gah-rOssssss

and you're welcome for unchecking the
" Show suggested videos when the video finishes"
before I loaded this on here. trust.

y'all know i don't love cats

especially black ones. duh, they are bad luck. remember this post?

so, imagine the tightness in my chest/horror/omg i felt when i saw these hoodlums just chillin on our back deck. there were FIVE of them. SOLID BLACK. except one had a lil white on his neck.

first, i tried to tell myself how totally ridiculous it is to be paranoid over some cats.

that didn't really work. so, then, i reasoned that it wasn't a bad thing because they were soft fluffy little kittens ... even though one of em's eye was totally crusty and small and barely there. CREEPtastic.

whatever. so, i was about to hop in my car to make a three hour drive, and i noticed the wind was blowin and the leaves were upside down and i thought, "oh lawd, somethin is about to go down."

i decided to stop trippin and get my usual road trip bevy

thank you, sonic, for diet cherry flavor ... totally mag with diet coke or diet dr. pepper. i highly recommend.

and then - as i was sippin on my large diet dr. pepper with diet cherry flavor, lo and behold,  I saw this, which duh, cancelled out any bad vibes from the black cats. 
 

plus TWO red birds flew right in front of my car. 

yeahhhh. tha's what i'm talkin bout.

Cool ain't Cold. But dis iz.

Kids, there are about 8 million reasons never to smoke even the first cigarette. 

But if lung cancer and funk arse teeth and breath aren't enough, this painfully awkward ad with these two lames should be.
I couldn't help but imagine what these peeps might be thinkin ...

I mean, really. 

When I think Newports - I'm thinkin of say ... Bone Thugs songs, Tupac, maybe a lil Dave Chappelle ... 

Then I got to googlin'. 

And came across some KINDA scary.

That last one speaks fa itself. Am I right? Or am I right?

Who gets paid to make these ads?

Tell Me If This Is Normal ...

Y'all know I said I have that test two tests THIS COMIN SATURDAY. I just opened the books today to think about studying. Even though I have had the books for weeks, and instead of getting started when I got the books or annnny time after that, I just waited until today. After I laid around allllllllll day long. I finally opened the book at like 5:30. My head started to hurt (about 30 mins. later) when I realized I don't know general historical stuff that I should know - like the Emancipation Proclamation, Manifest Destiny, the branches of the government and what they can/can't do. My husband will be SO ashamed of me when he reads this. Let's face it, when I was growin up, math and reading/writing were "important" (based on which subject areas are tested with standardized tests around these parts) and then came science. Social Studies was just randomly the leftover subject, seems like. In my world, no one cared about social studies. I wish it had been instilled in me a little better at a younger age, because as I got older, I had no foundation to add knowledge to, so I just took other classes and now I don't know squat about our country. I am disgusting. And, I was born on the 4th of July! Even worse!!! 

Yet, instead of studying, I have put the book down and decided to blog. I really think I have a mild form of ADD. I cannot and will not get anything done until I am down to the wire. And, then, when I do, I will STRESS MYSELF OUT TO THE MAX - even though it is my own doing! Like, I feel guilty and stressed right now - but I still ain't studyin. I also really struggle to pay attention when people are talking or explaining something. And, it's not that I'm not interested in what they are saying. It's like I can't even focus on eye contact while they are talking without going into another world. And, I have to read everything like 3 times if it involves explaining/teaching me something. And I absolutely CANNOT have someone else read directions/instructions to me ... I have to read it myself or you might as well be whistlin' Dixie. 

Awesome, right? 

Here's what else is goin on other than my guilt and procrastination -

I had the privilege of visitin some pig friends this weekend:

Went to Jason Aldean! Finally! I went with some lovely ladies in ma fam:

My Aunt Weeze. Aka Sandy. Look at her fab Jason T-shirt from last time she went. Ain't she cutie?

My meemaw, Hazel Sue.

(I am proud to say all women in our party wore genuine cowboy boots.)

My mega prissy Mama.

And me: Don't you love that shirt? Best part - it was ma hubs' idea!

This was the back:

People watchin at the Amphitheater/Pavilion/whatever they are callin it this week has always been a fave:

Cousin It's ready to go huntin?

Sometimes your boots hurt when you ain't had time to properly break em in:

Observed behaviors which indicate you need friends to help you draw the line:

1) wearing a dress up to your goodies and then playing corn hole so that you bend totally over, showin everything in the back, then toss the bags reallllly high, so your skirt lifts up to show everything you got in front. PSA - If you're wantin a one-night rodeo, this is the way to make it happen. If you want any sort of decent guy to show you one ounce of respect - not suggested.

2) Begin the first few songs crying while swaying/dancing with your girlfriend, and then alternating grinding yourself into two guys - pick one while the others gone to get you a drink, then switch back when he returns. Both guys leave and you begin to wrap your thighs around the girlfriend who you were cying on earlier in the night. Gross. Self-respect. Get your learn on.

3) Urinating ON THE LAWN WHERE THE CONCERT IS TAKING PLACE = it's time to cut yourself off, people.

Lord, have mercy. 

Having said all that, a good time overall!

Brady hopes you have a wonderful Monday tomorrow!

xo,

Was This Fo Realz?

My mama was right when she said in her email that this was good blog material.


Lord.

Have.

Mercy.

Y'all.

Please - let me JUST CLARIFY - that this, is not, in fact, an endorsement.

Okay, now, check this mess out, it's everything you need to:

{ 1 - Choose & Be the Perfect Catch } 

{ 2 - Develop a Healthy Body Image }

 { 3 - Become World's Greatest Mother }

 Could the ad below explain my fondness of Caffeine-Free Coca-cola?? After all, it "Boosts Personality" and "Promotes Active Lifestyle"

{ 4 - Cure What Ails Ya }

all via

So, dear readers, I ask you, if that is where we came from, and we thought we knew it all then, HOW can we be sure that we have any idea what we are talkin about now? 

Just an observation.

Curbs & Small Animals - Git Back!!

You know those days where you just feel wonderful? The sun is shinin, the birds are singin, you're ridin with the windows down, you're still marveling at the magic of your new sensor (see yesterday's post below), and just thinking about how blessed you are, and how you just want to tell everyone you know how much you love and appreciate them. 

Today was a day like that, I was steadily cruisin down 49 on the way to SC, with my large diet coke (yes, diet - a large regular coke would be a bit too much dessert at one time for my diabetic self to handle, I think). 

I was drivin through the beautiful rural countryside, thankin God for all the wonderful flowers and trees and sweet cute widdle cows and their babies.

Then - flyin in from the left side of the ditch - there he was, runnin full speed like a cheetah (they run fast, right?), was a BLACK cat. I mean, homeboy wasn't playfully trottin - he was clearly on a MIS-SION to END his life. 

My first thought - OMG! Black cats crossin your path = bad luck! Nooooo! I was pleading for him to stop! Don't do it! Turn around! Then ... 

...........................

.................................................

.......................

................

............

......

...

Blockuppp! 

Blasted. 

Anj's T-ruck and Mr. Kitty had a head-on collision.

RIP black kitty. 

Really though - there was no stoppin it. He was runnin sooooooo fast. And I was goin 60. And there was a car behind me. Clearly, it was his time. Bless his heart.

And clearly, I wasn't meant to have a black cat cross my path. I think if you kill the cat, you're good. 

The last time I did that was in high school. That BLACK cat was sort of galloping out. And - I ran over him and HE GOT BACK UP AND FINISHED RUNNING ACROSS THE ROAD. But - he started the run in front of my path, and finished behind my path so I don't count that as a bad omen either. 

Between yesterday's curb snack during my U-turn (I waited until there was no traffic so I could take my time easing onto the curb and then gracefully back off) and today's cat blastin - I think it's time to give ole T-ruck back to Anj. 

I love to ride in T-ruck with Anj drivin - me behind the wheel? Not so much.

Sylvia is much more my speed.

Y'all know I don't love a cat. But, I would never blast one of God's creatures with a truck on purpose. May Mr. Black Kitty rest peacefully.

Sweeeet Dreammmmmmmmzzzzzz

I am so friggin' tired of dreaming (nightmaring) about SNAKES. Since I was about 20, I guess, I've been having these TERRIBLE snake dreams. There is always a snake somewhere..I'll walk across it in a path, it crawled in the house through some sort of opening, it's hanging from a tree, etc. Green glowy snakes, yellow stripey snakes, shiny, slicky wet-looking snakes. UGHHHHHH! NASTY! NASTY! NASTY! I Hate them!!! I have always been terrified of them. To me, the only good snake is a dead one. Usually, the snake is chasing me, sometimes in mid air, and I catch it JUUUUUUUUUUUST before it bites me in my neck. Sort of like this dude in the picture:

I mean, I have these dreams 2 or 3 times of week, and have been having them for yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs. I guess they are anxiety related? Am I that stressed out?  

I went through a brief "break" from the snake nightmares, when I was a senior in college. Don't ask me what that was about, because it certainly wasn't a stress free period in my life. Also, when I lived at the beach briefly, and I could hear the ocean outside, I started having tidal wave nightmares. They continued for a couple years after leaving the beach. (My brain is NOT NORMAL). My family and I would be in a house - real "shambly" and the only thing left is the frame of the house basically, and the floors, and we are sitting there, staring at the tidal wave coming toward us, but we don't even try to run because we know there's not enough time to escape. Then I start to feel like I can't breathe.

Image from Manausa.com

Finally, my third reason to fear going to sleep: CATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSS. I mean, just straight up regular house cats. In real life, I am NOT scared of cats, but I do hate them. In my dream, the cat seems normal, you know, just creepin around rubbing up against people's legs while they sit on the couch. But, I catch the cat giving me the evil eye when other people aren't looking. And then ...........ATTACK!! The cat's tiny little sharp teeth come out and try to attack my neck/face...just like the snakes. 

reoawwwwwrrrrrrrrrr