belle/country/redneck/yankee

what do these things mean to y'all?

awhile back, i was asking friends' opinions on this on facebook.

i got a good bit of feedback, from southerners and yankees alike. the more i read, the more i realized:
people are people, and we are all different. no two people are exactly alike, even if you are from the same region of the country.

sure, there are certain characteristics that are stereotypical to a certain region, but can we use them to define people?

i was born and raised in NC. i have also lived in VA and SC. to me, lynchburg was not as 'southern' as NC and SC - the food, the accents, the pace of life, etc. some people loved my accent. some people made fun of it. did i think people in lynchburg were from another planet? no.

i do not consider myself to be a 'belle'.
i rarely wear dresses.
i hate heels.
i was not in a sorority.
i wear nail polish maybe twice a year.
it will be a rare ass occasion when my children are in outfits that are comprised of bows, smocking, and knee socks.
i love sweet tea, but that shit is loaded with sugar and i'm diabetic.
i wore pearls once - on my wedding day (although i do have a pearl ring from andrew that i love.)
do i have a "real" southern accent? yes. am i ashamed of it? no.

to stereotype the whole south and say that everyone in it is the same, is simply stupid. (it's stupid to do this for people from any region.) there are plenty of southern people who are pricks, just like there are pricks up north.

while the southern stereotype means always minding your manners, for some southerners that means minding their manners to your face and talking shit about you behind your back. some southerners find it very difficult to stand up for themselves or for something they believe in. some southerners gossip like hell behind your back, because they don't feel comfortable just saying it. just voicing their opinion.

i am very proud of the southern women that i grew up around. they were not the prissy kind. we didn't have little tea parties and wear dresses. most of their hands were dirty and callused, and they were often overworked and under appreciated. they drank and used cuss words and didn't care if the people at the baptist church were talkin shit about them.

but, i'm sure many "yankee" or "midwestern" or whatever region of women could say the same. they are just as proud of their heritage as i am of my 'southern upbringing'.

i'm glad i was born and raised in the south.
the end.
i'm sure everybody's proud of where they're from. people move. people come back. whatever.

just be yourself, people.
if you are a southern belle, be a southern belle.
if you have a potty mouth and drink beer and happen to be southern, but not a belle, fine, be that.
if you grew up in philadelphia, and are a wino who hates sports. whatever. be that.

just be you.

i'm sick of these cliques and shit in blog world. grow up. this is not high school.
just write your shit. hit publish. people who like it will read it. if they don't they either won't read it or they'll leave you immature ass comments. who gives a shit?

write anyway.
if you want to be a priss and wear dresses and keep your nails painted and write about your reunion with your sorority sisters, do it.
if you want to ride four wheelers and wear perfume at the same time, good for you, do it.
if you want to move south from michigan and discover that you actually like sweet tea, who gives a shit? drink it!

just be you.
and let everybody else be them.
and if you don't like it, don't hang out with them, and don't read their blog.
know that some people won't like you. some people will leave snarky comments. not everyone will agree.
oh effin' well.

no matter where you're from ...

looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket

I couldn't pick a favorite, but it is definitely a tie between these two.

{Steel Magnolias}

I've seen this movie so many times I lost count.
I love all of the characters so much, especially Ouiser - then, Drum and Clairee.



Have y'all ever seen the trailer?
I hadn't until I was lookin' for stuff for this post.

I found a video of some of the funniest parts, too.
I might even love Ouiser's facial expressions maybe a frog hair more than her commentary.

I love this movie because in my experience, it actually embodies how southern women really interact with each other.

My other favorite:

{Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood}

I've seen this one close to ten times, I'm sure.

Similar theme, southern chicks, friendship through the rough stuff, and it's hilarious.

I love their Ya Ya scrapbook, too!

This is my favorite scene:

And then of course, there's this movie ... what was it called?

The storyline was lackin'. But, it had some good parts.

What's your favorite movie?

dear errthang,

dear silas,
i am so glad i married your son. gettin' you as a FIL was the best bonus ever. i love how you run the store, and how you are part of the tractor club and went to the nc stizzle, and how you are just blunt as hell, and use words like "yuppies". if i were sayin' this out loud, you would have already interrupted me to say, "yeah, yeah, yeah," in annoyance while you waved your hand through the air.

dear wanda,
i am so excited about the store t-shirts. meetin' you gave me a glimpse into what i will be like in 25 {?!} years. you are the most southern thing ever. i love that you answer my calls with, "hey baby, how are you doinnnn?". i also find it to be awesome that you rock mustard skinnies and flats. and yes, purple over pink. {don't be creeped out that i stalked your image online, i forgot to ask for a pic today.}

dear anj,
thanks for hookin' up that bomb ass pork tenderloin for them tacos. gyahhhhhhh. to die.

dear goat cheese,
i am so mad i didn't even consider you as legit until i was like 28. you are so delicious and add so much flare and appeal to whoever you are hangin' out with. i love you so much. xo

dear yoga pants,
heyyyyyyyy. how y'all doin? awesome. awesome is the answer to that, fo sho. wearin' you makes me {falsely} feel really athletic and flexible. i am more likely to go for a walk with you on than off.

dear lemon-lime water concoction,
i am so grateful that you are here to cleanse my kidneys, hydrate me, and not gag me. it's all good.

dear alice,
thanks for sendin' me a copy of the marriage certificate of my granddaddy's parents. i had no idea they were married in VA. you rock.

dear dmd,
thanks for always bein' there to jump start my engine. sometimes, it's just too damn hot for coffee. sometimes i want my crack cold and through a straw.

dear outkast,
i always loved y'all, because y'all were rap, but not all gangstah and shit. shout out to pandora for bringin' you back to my attention. how bout some ...

chyeahhhhhh

dear local jeweler,
i really enjoyed our convo about christmas and how toe up your MIL is. 'preciate you hookin' up that watch battery change fo' free. annnnd, can't wait to get my charm bracelet back with my new camera charm in tact.

dear readers,
are you still here? gyahh, i love y'all. thanks for tolleratin' my lack of "-ing", and too much talk on the ectopic pregnancy episode. and my sarcasm. and my snark. and definitely thanks for your real comments, shout outs, and nominations. hell, i feel special.

dear south,
DAYUM, i love you! the fact that i was born here is straight up proof that God is real. i love your manners, slow talk, appreciation of history and the past, overalls, boots, 'naw's, 'y'all's, and 'yessuh's. and tea. and cheerwine. and sundrop. and biscuits. this could go on forevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

dear CN Taylah,
the first second i met you, i asked anj where you were from, because i KNEW it was somewhere close to where i grew up. i love that you are a regulah fixtyah at the stoah. yoah accent reminds me so much of my hometown, i can't help maself. thanks for goin' to get those awesome hotdogs and pintos from the methodist church today. they wuh on point.

dear methodist church down the road from the store,
thanks for havin' awesome hotdogs {with countless toppin' choices}, pintos, and soup ... only on thursdays. thursday needed a reason to be awesome. now it has one.

dear sylvia,
you stressin' me out with your lights and shit. really? you KNOW damn well you ain't due for an oil change. stop bein' needy.

that about gets it for now,
thanks for comin' out.

gramma & granddeddy 'nem

There aren't a whole lot of photos or keepsakes from my ancestors, so I always cherish any that I can find. And in case y'all are bored on this lovely Saturday, you can pretend we sittin' on my couch lookin' at pics of my rural NC tobacco-growin ancestors, mmmk?

The picture below is my Meemaw's maternal grandparents on their wedding day. My great great grandfather and great great grandmother.

That'd be my mama's mama's mama's mama.

{cue }

Got that?

Super.

It's crazy to think of a wedding day in the 20's compared to a wedding day now.

If you have been reading for awhile, and especially if you know me in real life, you know I am an analyzer - especially of people and relationships.

Have y'all ever thought about marriage and what it has really meant over time? What it meant for your parents, your grandparents, your great grandparents compared to how you view marriage today?

Although I never met any of my great grandparents, I find them fascinating. If I could meet anyone, just for a day, I think I would pick one of my great {or great great} grandmothers.

I come from a rural tobacco town in North Carolina, and most of my ancestors were poor tobacco farmers. Life was hard. I mean, in our society today, we work a job (somewhat of our choosing) all day to make money to buy things we need to survive at Target, Food Lion, the mall or online. It's crazy to think that in the past, your daily life would've been growing your food, milking cows, making butter, etc. Toaster strudels? Keurigs? Sheeeeit. People got married young, really young. Like, 14 or 15 young, often to someone they may have practically grown up with. Everyone pretty much lived in the same town that they'd grown up in, with both sets of in-laws in the same town. {And people made their own liquor. Ha! Joking ... kind of.}
I get that it wasn't necessarily like this in more affluent, larger areas, but this be story time at Shug's house, remember?

My great grandmother (the daughter of the woman in the picture) had five kids by the time she was 25! Holy mother of pearl, y'all! Mad props to her! Her life was cooking, cleaning, gathering eggs, helping on the farm, raising kids, going to church, walking with five kids in tow to take food to a family when someone passed away. No yoga or zumba to regroup. No girls' weekends. No Starbucks fix. No checking Facebook to be jealous of the life her friends were pretending to lead. No pinterest, no instagram. No money of her own. Money was for feedin' the fam.

check out more hilar goods here

Today we have marriage counseling {before you get married, and during} Tips to help husbands be more romantic and books on how to spice up your sex life, kama sutra and shit. Umm, can you imagine five {or more} kids and two adults in a three bedroom house? Can you imagine a life where you and your spouse worked hard, physical labor all day? Sweaty menfolk, callused hands, {okay, that doesn't sound so bad}. But, who had time or energy for hanky panky? I think about how devastating it was for me to lose one baby, but women in those times lost numerous children, many as infants and toddlers. No prozac, no anxiety meds, no therapy sessions. Just keep on goin.

I could write a book on stories I've heard from old folks about how life was then. Can't say that I'd trade life now for what they went through.

Of course, this is not to say that their life was miserable, but certainly very, very different from what we know now. And speaking of now, marriage is viewed in many different ways in our society and in the world. Have y'all read the comments on this post over at Erin's? {Yes, I am a Living in Yellow fan if you can't tell.} She had a post where readers told their 'secrets' anonymously. Let me tell you, I appreciated my marriage a lot more after reading what some of these people were dealing with. 

For me, marriage is serious bidness. Just know that it won't always be the stuff lies and bullshit that romance novels and movies are made of. I view divorce as an absolute last resort. Many people think I am painfully old fashioned. I want nothing more than to have babies and be a good mother and a good wife. I could give two shits about a career. I understand that not everyone thinks this way, and that is super okay. To each her own.

love some anne taintor

Some people have kids together with no intent to ever get married. Some people are married but never want children. Others can't understand why you would 'bother' getting married if you don't want kids. Others go into it, with the idea that they may be married several times before it's over. Some people live together for 20 years and don't want to get married and ruin everything.

But, at least now, it's a choice (hopefully for the right reasons). It's not just what you do because your daddy can't afford to keep feeding you, and you have kids because you want to, and not because there's no birth control and you need bodies to help on the farm. I know people genuinely loved their kids, but life's circumstances had to have made them pretty damn hardcore. You couldn't be an emotional puss and make it back then. The concept of worrying over damaging your child's psyche was crazy talk. Kids were not treated like princes and princesses. Their schedule never came first. If you did something you knew damn well you weren't supposed to do, you likely got your ass tore up, and nobody thought of callin' the cops. Your parents' love meant raisin' you to be successful on your own. Off on a tangent again ...

Here's the same couple about 35 years later. I love that he has on overalls and a 'suit coat' over it. And the cigarette, of course. I notice the weirdest things, like how prominent the curve of his right thumb is in both pictures. And doesn't she look like the kind of grandma that you could just hang out with all day makin' and eatin' biscuits?

This pic below is my granddaddy's parents. (The same granddaddy that used to have the epic baller-as-hell pig pickins.)

This pic cracks me up for obvious reasons. Not exactly sure when this pic was taken, but they were married in 1934. They were not in a band. I have no idea what was goin' on when they posed like this. My mama says they always reminded her of Archie and Edith Bunker from All in the Family. And Mama says she always remembers her grandma sayin, "John Brown it!"

I look at pictures like these and along with the stories that I've been told by my Meemaw and Granddaddy and my other family members, I try to picture what they were really like. What they would think of me now. Would they be proud? Would we be anything alike? What would they think of this blog post? Am I way off as far as what their life was like? What would they think of the man I chose to marry? Would they be mortified if they heard Outkast? Mortified that somebody would pay $5 for coffee from Starbucks that smells like a skunk? Would my great grandmothers wear Spanx or thongs? I image their reaction would be like Caro's in the Ya Ya Sisterhood.

What about y'all? Do you know a lot about your ancestors? Have many pictures? What were they like? Are you still in remotely the same area as where they lived when they were here? I'd love to know!

let's talk about sausage

you know what i am really thankful for?

pigs.

and their bacon.

and their sausage.

doesn't get much better than this:

{with mustard}

how many of these have you had first thing in the mornin, on the way to christmas shop, or go yard salin, or tailgatin at 7:30 a.m.? i mean, there is nothing like a sausage biscuit. no-thing!   mmmmmm. it's one of the hardest parts of bein gluten-free. i LOVE me a biscuit.   but, i found a way to fake it. no, it's not "the same", but it's damn good.      meet sausage "biscuit" via cornbread {sans gluten} with the insides of the cornbread cut out because a) it's too bready and 2) it's too carby    add a lil dab of mustard   BAM!! party in your mouth!  

shiz was goooood.
you should hit a drive through right away. i recommend mcdonald's or hardee's

lesburndaroadup!

our fam is basically in three parts of the north cack.

as a result, i am frequently on the road.

i love this time because i can listen to reba and miranda and bone thugs really loud and pretend like i can sing - at the top of my lungs.

 

i enjoy stoppin at random stores along the way.

well, i don't really enjoy it, but it happens because i pee a lot.

or i might need a diet coke or a snack.

i love the skinny white women in their 50's who work in these stores - the ones with a ponytail and bangs and wrinkles from smokin dorals since they were thirteen.

sometimes, you get a fun store with a big ole young black girl workin - the ones with four shades of bright blue and green eye shadow and fake lashes.

the white ones are either like, "hey there honey. is this gone be it?" or  they are dry as a bone, pissed off because they are havin to interrupt young and the restless to ring you up.

the black ones either have a great big ole smile and are happy to be alive, cuttin up with everybody who walks in, or just look real sleepy.

i don't ever see any menfolk runnin these stores. but there sure are enough of em sittin around, smokin, or playin some random video game, harrassin the chicks who are runnin the store.

and they will smile at you through their smoky teeth to hold the door open for you with a big ole grin on their faces.

 

i'm always pissed when they carry caffeine free diet pepsi but not caffeine free diet coke. woof.

so, then, i am basically forced to consume caffeine, which gets me further crunked up, and before you know it, i am so keyed up and singin so loud, and so into my music, that i am like, "shiiiit, i have missed my damn exit!"

and that, my frands, is how you get to really tour all of the great state of NC.

 

also, i really enjoy wavin at old menfolk drivin work trucks - you know, a regular old chevrolet or ford, or sometimes a dodge, but with a commercial license plate, and a lot of random shit in the back, like some ladders, and pipes and boots stuck between the bed of the truck and the back glass. they ride by, and automatically throw one finger {faingah} up in the air, even though they don't know you from adam, lookin all cutie in their carhartt and baseball hats that say, "Cozell & Sons Plumbing" or "Charles Chauncey Electric" or "Davis General Store".

 

i also enjoy wavin at the peeps holdin the signs that say "slow" when there's a one lane road because they're doin construction. you know they get tired of standin out there all damn day holdin a sign while people ride by. just smile and wave, why not?

 

know what else is fun? when you are at a stop light, do this:

turn your radio up really loud, and sing like you are axl rose, into your diet coke, or steering wheel.

be sure to get really into it, mouth wide open, eyes squinted shut, with a lot of movement.

it's better if you have on sunglasses, especially some with a little personality, like some reflective lens aviators.

when people start to stare, pull the glasses down to the tip of your nose, and smile at them and wave.

they will think you are bat cave crazy.

 

one thing i dislike about my trip is people who are goin slow as mufuggin molasses on a two lane road that is up and down hill. solid line. can't pass. and they have given absolutely no thought whatsoever to the speed limit. it's like they are just lettin their car drive itself. fast down hills, slow up hills. whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?

today's driver of the year was a lil hatchback covered in all kinds of stickers, you know the ones. huggin trees, unless of course, the paper is needed to completely suffocate their car in that shit.

i finally got to go around em, and i want to look at them like, "what thaaaa fuuuuuudge?!" but you know they are so deep into their own planet, they have no idea what is happenin or where they are.

for pete's sake, push the damn gas pedal, playa!

 

anyhoo, if you gone be in the car for awhile, might as well make the most of it, and find a way to entertain yourself.

 

i recommend the following:

*diet coke or starbuck's

* comfy clothing so you can dance

* a baller playlist that makes you want to sing loud and dance like you are gettin paid dolla dolla bills y'all

* CVS sunglasses

* plenty of Burt's Bees {lips be gettin chapped}

 

* these treats:

{nuts for protein (be sure to get the party ones, and not regular peanuts for lames)

and

munchos because they are the shizzzznatti. Just like it says - light and crisp ... and sallllllty! seriously, if you've never had these, it's time to get on the train. You won't regret it.}

 

happy travels!

 

 



sh%t southern women say

we've all seen those little quotes on pinterest painted in a curly font about what southern girls are like ... sweet tea, pearls, monograms, rockin chairs on front porches, y'all, etc, etc, etc. and most of them make me cringe because this is a handful of random details that might apply to some southern chicks, like that's it. no offense to you prissy chicks, but there is so much more to southern chicks that dressin up in a big monogrammed hat, puttin on some pearls, and drinkin mint juleps at a horse race. most southern women i know have never done such shit. the brunette in the video with the lynyrd skynyrd shirt on is probably most like me. and of course, there are variations on southern accents. the ones where i'm from have a much less pronounced "r" at the ends of words. the southern women i know are more like the ones from steel magnolias or the ya ya sisterhood. matter fact, here's the accent vlog i did awhile back if you ain't got shit else to do.

southern families are different. southern communities are different. we do things a certain way. holidays. sundays. when somebody gets married. when somebody dies. when somebody has a baby. there's a reason northerners come down here and never go back. we're glad to have some of y'all. {then there are some of y'all who need to take your bitchin, impatience, and nasty attitude back on up yonda where you came from}

anyhoo, i saw this video and had to smile. this too, only scratches the surface, but i had to share.

while my mama never actually beat us, i can tell you i heard her say, "i'm fixin to beat your ass" at least ten thousand times and it was enough to know we better quit trippin. 

and since we're on the topic of shit southern women say, who can take a shot at the origin of the phrase tighter than dick's hat band ? 

As in, "I can tell you now, it ain't no need in askin him for no money. He's tighter than Dick's hat band." 

My meemaw says it all the time, and I got to thinkin, What the hell did that even mean, originally?

 ____

 what are some of your favorite southernisms that were left out?

that time i had a mud wrestlin party

When I was a senior in high school, I thought,

"Shit! We got room! We ought to have a mud wrestlin party out here! Wonder if I can con talk Hazel into this."

And then, it all started to come to fruition ...

Step 1:

Nicely ask cousin who has a gradin business if he will come dig a pit.
Get awesome photo made rockin your 2001 light denim and monogrammed silver shit.

Step 2:
 Tell errbody who ain't scared.

Step 3: 

Fill that bitch up with the water hose for like a day and a half.
Make sure it's nice and deep and squishy.
{hush}

Step 4:

Get towels and four-wheelers.

Go!

In addition to Cousin Blake, mayjah shout out to Hazel and Big Leon for lettin that shit go down.

PS - Speakin of throwdowns, if you ain't checked out the Pig Pickin Post, you totally must.

PPS - This was totally worth the cardio and strength workout I got from nearly breakin my neck and fallin out of a chair to get the big ass tupperware that these pics were stored in out of the attic by myself because I was too impatient to wait for Anj to come home and plus, I didn't want to nag him because he would probably say no. 

* xo *

sunday stroll

hubs & i went for a little walk

thank God for quiet southern towns

hope y'all had a good weekend

i love cows.

One day, maybe Anj and I will live somewhere that has cows nearby. And I will go over and harrass visit them, and tell them stories and talk to them like they are babies.

I just love them. I think they have the cutest faces ever. And - it is awesome because most of the time, when you creep up on em, they will stop chewing and stare at you, almost like they want their picture taken.

If I have the camera with me, I will make Andrew pull over so I can get my Nikon on with the cows.

LOVE. COWS.

Happy Monday.

Dear Lord, thanks for makin me southern.

Hey frands. Can we talk about Southern Living? When I think Southern Living, I think of when I was in fourth grade and my meemaw lived in Alabama, and we drove for what seemed like a day and a half to get to her house, and while I was there, one of the things I did was cut up lots of Southern Living magazines to make a giant flower collage. Thinking of Southern Living also conjures up images of the 80s and Designing Women.

BUT - my mama bought the May issue, and y'all, I am pretty much wanting to ask for a subscription for my birthday. First of all, there is something to be said for holding real magazines. Real books - with real pages. The only time I have been able to tolerate the Kindle was when I was readin 50 Shades and I had to get to the next book fast.

But anyway - look at this room:

1) hydrangeas 

2) birds

3) blue and white vases

4) green

Yum!

And who wouldn't want to investigate the best pints in Alabama with these two shugpies who happen to be brothers?

Mmmm ... recipes, road trip ideas, party plannin. Yes, ma'am & thank you so kindly.

I read my mama's Southern Living tonight and painted my toe nails bright, happy pink.

I am ready for summer.

And eatin chicken salad.

I wanna throw a party.

With tea-inspired cocktails and beer.

And take pictures of it all.