Guest Post - Brody

Hello Peeps,

Shug in Boots' blog has been hijacked and I am your captain. My name is Brody, and I am a stalker/bed hog/ball fiend.

I'm thinking she won't mind, because I pretty much do whatever I want, and so far, this has not been a problem. So far.

I am basically the center of everyone who knows me's universe. Each morning, I awake and Shug takes me outside for my morning do-business. No, I don't lift my leg to pee. Too much work. You see, I am so tall and graceful, that I can simply squat and all goes well. No mess for me.

Next, I eat my morning meal, which my owner refers to as "you ready for you suppa?"

Most of the time, I get additional treats when the peeps leave the house in the morning. My favorite are the salmon treats. De-friggin-lish. I am embarrassed to admit the types of tricks I turn to get those.

I use my day times to perfect my grooming skills and shed as much of my gorgeous black hair as possible all over the entire house, making it a point to hit every bed at least once. I don't really do couches, however. I'd say I spend an average of about an hour and a half on each bed, inhaling the smell of it's previous occupant until I grow tired of that, at which point, I make my way for a little wood floor-lying, as it helps to cool me off when I'm overheated from blankets. Clearly, I have to stay hydrated to keep looking this good. However, I occasionally prefer the toilet bowl over my own water bowl because it's colder and a little taller so I don't have to bend my long gorgeous neck over as far.

I enjoy listening to country music, sometimes classic rock while the peeps are away. However, I'm growing tired of it. Perhaps soon they will turn on some Drake and Lil Wayne for me.

When the peeps return home, I snuggle them up as much as possible. I know they need it. Poor things, at work all day, wishing they could spend time with me. But, somebody's gotta pay my vet bills and buy me food and toys. I especially enjoy crawling on the peeps' legs after they are snuggled under their covers to watch TV, blog, or read their Nook. Bless their hearts. I know they are just not comfortable unless I am there to keep them company. Sometimes, when my grandmother sits in the recliner downstairs, she likes for me to jump into her lap and lick her face. She keeps yelling because she clearly enjoys it. Sometimes, she won't let me get down until I turn the recliner over with her in it. I don't know why she enjoys it so much. But, I do what I can. Hey, it's what I'm here for, to make the peeps' lives complete.

I also help out around the house. For example, I once helped one of the peeps put some things back into the attic. She assured me she didn't need my help. But, I followed her up the steps just in case. Sometimes, one of the peeps works on his truck in the garage and I help him out by supervising. A good dog makes sure that his owner's safe at all times, including while traveling. Wanna make sure everything's fixed up just right. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't help out?

Sometimes my friend Carley Sue comes over. I love her and everything, but she is a bit wild for my taste. Bless her heart. I will give her points for being an awesome hurdle jumper. Sometimes when she visits, she runs circles around me and then jumps over my back. Quite a feat for such a short dog such as herself to jump over a tall black beauty like me. I'm usually pretty mentally drained after she leaves. But, I do enjoy her visits. Here we are on a recent playdate.

It ain't easy bein' a black lab, but I come from a long line, and my mama raised me right - in the few weeks I was around her. But hey, these people need me, right? Sometimes, I enjoy when the peeps do something for me. And I don't consider this to be selfish after all I do for them. I enjoy retrieving  - tennis balls are my specialty. I am working on perfecting my one-bounce-only retrieval. I am fast as lightening and sometimes the neighborhood dogs stop mid-walk to glance over at me in the yard. I would love to teach them how to be as fast as me, but they would need to be ready to invest hours of time. It's quite a commitment to get this good.

Well, my paws are tired of typing, and I need a nap so I will have plenty of energy for Tennis Ball Relay later on tonight.

I hope you all have a lovely day. If you'd like to learn more about me, please check out the tab at the top of the page, "Meet Brody" and click the label, "Brody" on the left (not to be confused with BrAdy, who was a brief fill-in until my arrival. You can read that story here.)

I hope you all will have a splendid day.

Love,
Brody