Word. a jordan-inspired post.

Today's post is inspired by my friend Jordan's post. First of all, my world brightened up the day Jordan decided to blog. You see, Jordan is one of my hub's college roomies. They lived in a mayjahly sketch ass house called "Lord Berk". Jordan is blunt, sarcastic, and analytic. And ... hilarious. I admire him greatly because he just says it. I hope to be more like him as time goes by.

Anyhoo - his post today was about phrases and gestures and jokes. More specifically, ones he hates. But it got me to thinkin ... I was analyzing some random (mostly southern) phrases the other day, and I thought, "Who in the hell started this?" and sometimes, "What does it even mean?"

1) She look like she been rode hard and put up wet. (Shortened version: "She looks hard." I find myself saying this more often than I'd like.)

2) Tighter than Dick's hatband.

3) You're old enough for your wants not to hurt you. (Totally sayin this to my kids one day.)

4) Busier than a one armed paper hanger. (Stepdad says this. He's from Ohio. ;) )

5) Tight as a tick on a dog's ass.

6) Colder'n a witch's t****y in a brass bra.

7) You can't take chicken shit and make chicken salad.

8) Her hair is flat as a fritter. 

Clearly, there are 6 majillion others. Leave one in the comments. I dare you. 

Also, I may have recently fallen victim to words such as "totes", "snark" and "natch". Two of those are the fault of Anj Davis. But, I think more common than hating the words/phrases themselves, we more likely want to punch the people who say them. Therefore, the phrase itself becomes annoying as hell. Know what I mean?