Sylvia: Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Soooo, after the madness of my last post where Sylvia blew out a tire on the highway and bout scared the piss out of us, I spent the last hour at the tire place, smellin' rubber and listenin' to some old dude snort and cough and hawk and swallow whatever is drippin' from his sinuses down into his throat. 

Miss Sylvia did indeed get her four brand new shoes, though.

But - when I first saw em, I was like .... Umm, they are all black.

I forgot about the whole specifying if you want the white lettering on the inside or the outside ...
no, actually, I didn't even know you could pick.
My first thought was that these tires were not worth the money we just paid for em.
And my second thought was, "What the hayull was Anj thinkin' when he picked these? He clearly did not see a picture of them first."

I bout died laughing at Steph's email saying that she had no idea that the white writing could be on the inside, and woulda been like, "Did you guys just get these out of the junk yard, because the writing's all worn off?"

Yep - that's pretty much where my thinkin' was too.
You learn somethin' new everyday.

Ha! 

Y'all, I ain't eva had all black tires. To me, the white lettering goes on the outside.

I am worried Sylvia looks like a wannabe Thug Misses.

I feel one flat black paint job away from being 'Murdered Out' like Rob Dyrdek.

Fine. It's possible I'm being a little paranoid. 30 is too old fo dis, y'all.

Do you have a preference?

Hubs said they usually ask your preference. Oops.

Is there a "go to" for low profile cars versus trucks/SUV's?

I didn't know it was a thing.

Now I feel paranoid that between the tinted windows and the blacked out tires I am a po-po magnet.

"No, officer. I had no idea that I was doing 90 in a 55. Illegal tint, too? You are kidding me! I hope this doesn't mean you'll have to handcuff me."

Like there aint enough legit real-life shit to be worryin' about, right?

Sometimes I kinda feel like Sylvia has her own personality anyways, like Stephen King's Christine, or Carrie Underwood's black cadillac.

But, hopefully, Sylvia isn't that much of a psycho.

Dear Jesus: thanks for keeping us from getting blasted on the side of the highway

Hubs and I decided to get some lunch at a restaurant where our friend works.

The food was magical, we got to chat with him for a bit, which was nice because we hadn't seen him in awhile.

Our check came and the waitress told us that our friend had covered our check for us.

How sweet of him!

So, to pay it forward, Anj left the 20 bucks that would've went toward our lunch for the waitress as her tip.

That song by Clay Walker that makes me cry every time I hear it popped in my head. You know, the one about the guy helping the old lady change her tire, and how he refuses to let her pay him. Then, she leaves this huge tip for a waitress at a diner down the road (the same money that he wouldn't take as payment). Seriously, you gotta listen to it.
{This song:  }

Anyway, we were full as toads and on our drive home, we were trying to decide how we wanted to spend the rest of our afternoon.

I was in a food coma and was about to drift off to sleep when I heard a sound.

A repetitive sound.

That seemed to be getting louder.

Like the one you hear when you are running over those reflector lights in the road.

I looked around us at the lane to our left, and the lane to our right at the cars speeding by at 60, 65 miles an hour, wondering where the sound was coming from.

I looked at Anj. He was sitting up super straight and checking all the mirrors, trying to switch lanes, and it wasn't anywhere near our exit.

My stomach felt gross.

Then I knew.

It was us. Oh shit.

And one of our dang tires.

A front tire.

The one on my side.

I was lower than the rest of the car.

Holy snapple.

Andrew is all cool and collected, calmly trying to get over - first, to the lane to our right, and eventually, to the shoulder of the upcoming exit without getting blasted by the people on 77 who could give two shits about slowing down for a car in distress.

Me? Calm? Not so much.

"Turn on the hazzards! Turn on the hazzards! Blow the horn! These people are nuts! We'll never get over!"

We finally make it over to the shoulder by the exit.

The guard rails are quickly approaching on my side, and we can't exactly slam on breaks, because there is only one tire supporting the front end of the car.

Closer and closer and closer.

I am just waiting to hear the sound of the whole passenger's side grinnnnnnding against the guard rails, and I'm already wondering how either one of us is going to be able to get out - me, because I'm about to be pinned against the guard rails, and Anj, because he'll be right against people flying onto the exit.

Finally, the car comes to a stop, and I am too close to the guard rail to open the door, and therefore, we are also too close to the guard rail for Anj to have room to change the tire.

So, we have to back up, on the shoulder, against oncoming traffic alongside the highway.

I am talkin' to Jesus 900 miles a minute, but I feel confident that He can understand every word I'm sayin'.

As we are backing up, I can hear the tire rim, wrapped in lose, flapping rubber, grinding against the ground with every rotation.

Eventually, we were far enough away from the guard rail to stop with enough room to change the tire.

Anj waited for a break in traffic to get out of the driver's side.

I got out and looked, and Anj yelled at me to get back in the car and stay out of the road because it was dangerous.

But, all I could think about was

1) if I get out, and stand in the grass (on the safe side of the guard rail), it'll hopefully draw attention of drivers who are probably looking at their phones or changing the radio or yelling at their kids ... to the fact that we are parked, and not simply braking

2) if a car is not paying attention, I want time to yell at Anj to get the hell up and come to the grass with me before they slam into Sylvia

3) me continuing to sit in the front passenger seat is just adding another several, unneeded pounds to that rim

So, I grabbed the car manual because getting to my spare tire is totally random and not intuitive, got out of the car, stepped over the guard rail, back into the grass, and prepared to shout over the traffic to my husband in case he needed more info.

Then, I thanked the Lord Jesus above for 1) getting us safely across two lanes, plus an exit lane to the safety of the shoulder so we could change our tire 2) letting my dear sweet husband be there with me or I woulda been toe out tha frame (more than I was) 3) not letting my rim get damaged or bent 4) providing everything we needed within the car to get the tired changed (jack, spare, tire iron, etc)

Then, I prayed for Him to keep us safe until the tire was changed, and not let that jack collapse before Anj got the spare on.

My heart was racin' y'all.

People were flying by, blowing the horn at us while my husband crawled around on the pavement, beside heavy 65 mph traffic, in his shorts and flip flops, sweating like a mule to get our tire changed.

Thankfully, Anj was able to get the spare on with no real trouble, and no one blasted our asses in the process.

I told Anj on the way home, that I realized that sometimes, I just wanna know WHY!? WHY!? WHY?! with things that happen in this life of ours. WHY does God allow it? Has he forgotten us? What is his reasoning? But, every single time I wonder that - without fail - he reminds me in another, totally unrelated way, that he is still in control, and he blesses us everyday.

He and Sylvia must be pretty tight because this sho ain't the first time he has rescued homegirl.

The Lord is good, friends.

And I thank him for this guy:

I was thinking about our friend paying our bill, and how nice that was of him to do.

And how good it felt to do something nice for someone else by leaving the waitress the tip that was almost the total cost of our bill. And then how nice it is of Jesus to rescue us from disasters pretty much around the clock. Sometimes we can see those disasters being averted plain as day - like when our tire blew out today. But, a lot of times, we have to look a little closer, and think a little deeper and more positively. He's saving us from other messes that we don't even know about. Some of those things that we see as disappointments and failures are really God saying, "I have a better time frame, and a better plan, just hold tight."

We couldn't find any obvious cause. We think the tire just blew. But, I'm due for some new tires anyway, so Miss Sylvia will be gettin' herself four brand new shoes come Monday.

How I'm Livin

Que Pasa, Shug pies? This glorious Sunday, I'm doin' a little link-action via Ms. Kim @ Yep the Blog. She's super magical. In fact, this little button here is pretty much her personality. Don't you love it?

Link up on Sundays and tell us what you did all week. Or make somethin up.

Below are the details of the exciting life I lead.

My cousin's 18th birthday was this week, and his friend Alex was here from Germany. My mom and I have been wanting to go to a Carolina Hurricanes game, so the four of us went on Tuesday. 

(They sold Red Bridge! Uber-exciting!)

We lost after a shoot out. Oh well.

********

I dealt with this shiz.

In NC, you have to get your car inspected when you renew your registration. Mine "wasn't ready" because it just had a repair involving the stupid check engine light being on, and it hasn't been driven enough to reset yet. Really? Um, it expires tomorrow. NO I DID NOT WAIT TIL THE LAST MINUTE EXACTLY. I got the problem fixed, tried to get it inspected. Drove around for no reason trying to reset the dang thing. STILL NOT READY. And then, I'd already made plans to go out of town. Thankfully, there is a 15 day grace period. Everybody say a lil prayer for Sylvia and me.

********

I ran into some jackasses in the mountains of NC.

Look how crooked my tooth looks in that pic.

 ********

 I thought about shiz that stresses me out and what things I can do to make my life less stressful.

1) Keep my living and work area CLEAN. This is so hard for me. I totally envy people whose brains just work that way automatically.

OHIO. Only Handle It Once. 

I am forever picking crap up to put it where it goes, wash it, throw it away, etc, and then I will set it down to deal with something else, thereby getting NOWHERE.

2) Go to bed by 10:30. This is hard too. Damn you Blogger and Pinterest. Sad, I know. 

3) Get up 30 minutes earlier than I think I need to, so I can get to work with time to handle emails, organizing, copies, etc. that stress me out throughout the day. 

4) I promised myself I would delete pictures from my phone once they have been uploaded. Dang it.

5) I will read emails and deal with them daily. Not ignore them, and come back to an inbox of 798 and feel overwhelmed.

6) Write things down in my planner immediately.

7) Pay bills when they arrive.

8) Bring crap in from my car right then as opposed to letting it pile up in there for weeks and then, driving around in a mess, whichhhh, stresses me out.

 ********

 I was forced to leave little hidden notes under pizza like this:
<=======

Because apparently, my brother has these totally absurd notions that I might steal toppings off of his pizza just because they look delicious and I can't eat the gluten-ous bread portion of the pizza.
                           =================>

Crazy, right? Can you believe him?

 ********

 Discussed the excitement of fall fashion with Bro-ham.

 He's really excited about Halloween tomorrow night too, lemme tell ya. 

Nothin a Little Fried Fish & Potato Salad Won't Cure

So, if you've been reading my blog, you probably recall this evil car shug pie, usually referred to as Sylvia:

Now, I am tryin to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is used and she ain't a spring chicken anymore, but she also ain't over the hill. I (meaning my brother/husband/auto zone/sweet guardian angel Richard) have dealt with the following on dear Sylvia in just a few short months: 

• battery
• fuel assembly/inaccurate gas gauge
• crank position shaft
• check engine light for various reasons
• traction system lights

... and we finally got her back to glory. PSYCH! I mentioned before that I think she does stuff for attention. Soooo, this past weekend, when my parents are visiting for the Davis Fish Fry, Sylvia decides Hey, wouldn't it be funny if I start to hesitate and jerk violently at stop signs and act like I don't want to crank and rattle like a roller coaster at 60 mph? Yeah, that sounds fun! I think maybe Sylvia has a crush on my brother and she just wants him to take a look at all her parts like once a week. Floozie.

Anyhoo - I. Was. Pissed. And moreso terrified that the hubs and I bought a lemon and we are going to be stuck with it. But, I am trying to keep in mind, it is a used car, and hopefully, this is just the fact that the Engine Variable Timing Solenoid (don't ask how I know - see lovely pic below)

See how the two sections furthest to the right have screens over them? Wellll, the one that's second from the left is supposed to have one too. Instead, it is MIA and there is TRASH stuck in that little valve/hole/thingie. Thank God Eric can find this mess and knows what the deuce those codes mean. I sure haven't the slightest idea.

... Back to what I was sayin - the Engine Variable Timing Solenoid and the crank position shaft are partners in crime and they encourage each other to do stupid stuff to jack my car up. Let's not worry about the check engine light throwing a code about the fuel sending unit WHICH JUST GOT REPLACED. Ughhh! I am getting stressed thinking about it. SO. ANGRY. But, I try to remember there are worse - much worse - things to be going on in this life than car problems. There hasn't been anything so far that the Lord hasn't taken care of. I doubt He's going to stop today, right? 

Then, the new fancy Droid X2 went black randomly and wouldn't turn on. Awesome sauce! Ugh! Together these two things made me feel like there must be something in my blood that is jackin up the wiring of everything around me. Maybe my pump and my sensor are runnin some kinda conspiracy to interfere with the wiring of everything within a 5 mile radius of me? 

Anyhoo - enough rantin. Today is another day. And there's a lot to be grateful for. Like, the delivery of this shug pie's baby, Layla. This shug pie and I have been friends since we were 8 (we are sooo old) .... and she is my Sister in Dia-bee-tus, so I am extra proud of her, and thankful to God for getting her, her hubby and Little Miss Layla Pie through this pregnancy, so they can start making wonderful memories as a family. I haven't met Little Miss Layla yet (because Sylvia is SICK and I don't mean that like a 19 year old white boy means it). But here is her mama lookin magical here below:

Photo by Stephanie's Creative Photography in Roxboro, NC

Also, here is a tiny glimpse of the Fish Fry magic from this past weekend. I should have done less talkin and eatin and more picture takin. Y'all know I can never have enough pictures - or talkin or food.There were just too many things goin on. I was overwhelmed. Sorry.

Yummy Flounder

Hushpuppy Prep

Silas's (father in law) lesson on why the water pitcher ain't workin.

One of my fav things about Silas is his shirts.

Davis men at work.

Make sure the oil's hot enough.

These hushpuppies were D-VINE as my mama would say. To the left you can see just a widdle bitty glimpse of the delicious fried pickles they made from Me and Lois Ellen's pickles last year. Yumm-o!

Mmmmm....let's eat! Fish, slaw, hushpuppies, potato salad (told y'all that was my job), watermelon, and Yaya's AMAZING salsa and pico de gallo, pineapple cake, chocolate chip cookies. Man! How can it get any better?!

We didn't eat and drink and run our mouths the entire time. See:

This was Silas's daddy's truck that they had on the farm when Silas was growin up. Ain't she beautimous?

Lois Ellen drivin our friend Steve's truck. I should've taken a pic of the outside ... it is a seriously jacked up Chevy with monsta tires and LE was so excited about this opportunity. Thanks Steve!

And, I said before that I would tell about the potato salad. (In addition to drivin monsta trucks, Lois Ellen takes time to teach her sister-in-law, little ole me how to make bomb diggity potato salad). It's pretty simple, but I like to add one extra ingredient when I make it at home and also, at home, I like to leave some of the skins on. Totally up to you, shugs. Oh, and please remember, these pics were taken with my phone - so forgive the fact that these food pics won't look insanely realistic and edible like if I had a $600 camera. Sorry, it's the best I can do for now.

1) Ingredients:

• Mayonnaise (Duke's light is what I use at home, and I swear, it still tastes yummo. If you want it to have a little more of a buttery/fatty flavor or if your husband will trip out if he finds out it has light mayo in it, then you can just use the regular Duke's).
• Mustard - plain old regular mustard
• DILL pickle relish - NOT sweet
• yellow onion
• green pepper
• salt
• bacon (this is what I add at home because me and Anj Davis love anything that contains bacon. Mmm!)

I usually just buy a 5 pound bag of potatoes and cut off bad spots plus a little dab more of the skin - depends on your potato skin preference and I cut them into chunks about 2 inches wide. Just makes em boil faster and makes my life easier. Put the water about an inch or so above the potatoes. I don't know how long to boil em. I just go in, stick the potato masher in there after about 15 mins and if the potatoes are soft, I take em out. If they're not, I let em keep boilin. Profound, I know. But you don't want em to boil too long or they are like mush, like pureed turnips. Scary stuff.


VERY IMPORTANT: 
1) When you take the potatoes out and drain them, mash them with the potato masher, but leave them a little bit chunky because they will break down even more when you go to stir in the other ingredients.
2) After semi-mashin, put the potatoes in the refrigerator with the top of the bowl or whatever OFF and let them cool. They need to be cool to cold when you stir in the mayo, etc. or it just won't stick right. They will have a creamy goopy consistency. Naisty.

I usually use about half of a small onion, and about 1/3 of a large green pepper. Chop them up really fine.

Finer than this. I took the pic before I was satisfied with the consistency. Sorry.

 I like to cut the bacon in half before I fry it. I think it makes it crisper. But, hey, I could be just makin that up. Who knows. About 3 pieces is what I use (because I fight the urge to put in about 7 slices, but I certainly don't think it would hurt to do more than 3 pieces).

 Then, after it's cooled and is reallll crunchy, break that mess up into bits.

Okay, so this is the part you gotta kinda eye ball and just keep tastin it til it tastes right. I'd say for a five pound bag of potatoes, I'd start with 3/4 cup of mayo and about 1 teaspoon of mustard. Stir. The potatoes should be coated in the mixture but just barely because when you add everything else, you don't want it to get runny. I like my potato salad to be light yellow - maybe a hair lighter than a post-it note. Darker than that = too much mustard. Give it a stir and then gauge what you need more of.

Now we can add everything else. We already talked about how much green pepper, onion and bacon to add. Now, I'd say I use about 1 tablespoon of pickle relish, and then I drain about another tablespoon of the juice into it.

I don't add the salt until everything else is stirred in because the bacon and pickle will provide a good bit of the flavor and you don't want to over salt cause you can't get it back out and you don't wanna ruin all your hard work (especially the potato peelin and the stirrin - shew-wee!). 

And there it is, folks. Like I said, the pics don't quite communicate the color...it's more like a little bit lighter than a post-it note. ;)

Thanks for not judgin me for the way my brain will randomly dump a crap load of unrelated information at one time.

Happy Monday! (Please pray for Sylvia - she is one sick sister and my whole family is tired of dealin with her tantrums. Thanks.)

Love,
   Shug and Anj Davis and Brotha E/Sylvia's crush

Jesus Takes Care of His Shugpies!

Here is yet another example of how I know - 

The last few months, off and on, Sylvia has been trying desperately to tell me something:

But I wasn't listening, because she would say it and then not mention it for awhile, then she kept bringing it up again. However, these last few days, that little light has been winkin at me from the DIC (Driver Information Center - duh).

According to the manual, this means that there could be an issue with the traction system. Well, ugh! I don't really have time to worry about the traction system, but after Sylvia's insistence that I address the issue, I googled. 

Turns out (of course) this is a COMMON problem - people noticed it especially when it was cold, and then when the car warmed up, the light went off. 

Or - one guy's light went away after he put some air in the tire. 

Couple of mechanic sites mentioned a wheel speed sensor being faulty.

Whatev.

So, this mornin, I'm whinin to my mama because my brother said it's no big deal and it ain't worth payin the money to fix. But I HATE how the light just glares at me. Ugh!

But I got over it.


And this mornin I woke up excited because today was Fun Time Reunion with My College Dorm-Mate Day. I decided to stop worryin over the dang light. And, it was Good Friday and I had a yummy breakfast with my mama, and then I headed out. After fun time with Ashley, it was time for a magical Easter weekend with the hubs. Let's get crackin.

Yay! Yay! Yay! 

So, off I go to meet my Berry Hall shugpie, me and Sylvia just listenin' to the radio. Almost therrrrre!

Loud pop. 

Turn radio down. 

Hear nothing.

Keep driving.

Everything's fine. 

 Hit cruise control. 

Nope. Not workin.

Grrrrr!!!

What the deuce?!

Then - 

All of a sudden ...

Sylvia really really really prefers going right instead of straight.

Red light.

Decide to pull over in the right turn lane. 

Here's the verdict:

Obviously, this picture was taken after I'd had a moment to calm down. After being on side of the road with the hazard lights on. After watching/smelling the smoke coming from Sylvia's tire parts. Ummm.....

Call bro.

Call hubs.

Call mama.

Call Tyrone.
(I got jokes.)

I'm about an hour from everyone I know. But not really sure where I am exactly.

Hmmm.....

Enter sweet little older man wearin a hat that said somethin about Jesus on it. 

I know. I know. He coulda been an axe murderer, kidnapper, etc. etc. etc. But, hey - I coulda been 10 kinds of crazy too and had some gunman in the back of my car just tryin to lure him over to the side of the road. I mean, clearly, we learned from Big G's story of the chick who tied her cheatin boyfriend up, and beat the tarrrrrrr out of him with her high heel - that WOMEN FOLK CAN BE CRAZY TOO. 

Anyway - my instinct felt fine upon a brief evaluation of this man. And, I had already told Anj exactly where I was in case he never heard from me again - he could report where I was abducted from. 

Anyhoo ... 

He stopped and checked out Sylvia's wound, and BY THE GRACE OF GOD - his house was literally across the intersection and he was a mechanic. (Can I get a THANK YOU JESUS)? Can I get a What? What? for sweet widdle (or big) southern men who are chivalrous and not whack jobs?

Sooooo ... Sylvia limped slowly and painfully, across the intersection of a four lane highway, crying and whining all along the way to get her wound taken care of.

Jesus sent this shugpie as Sylvia's Guardian Angel today.

After applying some bubble-makin magic and a little water to the tire, he was able to locate the leakage.

Thankfully, he was able to patch her right up and we didn't have to use the spare. I tried and tried to get him to let me pay him. 

Nope. He said he has two daughters as well and thought, "What if it was one of my daughters? I'd want somebody to help them too." He told me that he believes that Jesus expects us to help each other. You know - Jesus can present Himself as any old person needing some help. What a sweet heart! God bless his widdle heart!

Remember this picture from my other post? And how I said I think Jesus sends us angels here on earth to take care of us - His hand is in everything. Well - today, Mr. Richard was Sylvia's angel that God sent along to help us.

Mr. Richard is the angel. That's me and Sylvia walkin - and the bridge would be HWY 70 - yikes!

Sylvia felt so much better after her medical attention:

As I rode to meet my shugpie, Ash, I was just thinking what a wonderful reminder Mr. Richard was of the fact that God always has His eye on us. And we are never alone. If He can handle the little stuff like a scared female with a flat tire on the side of a highway, then He can handle the big stuff too. 

Despite a bumpy start to my Good Friday - I was able to continue my day with this girl:

Girl was SO EXCITED they had her cucumber tomato salad!

Shopping, laughing, catching up and eating this insanely tasty potato salad:

PS - The "somethin ain't right with your traction system" light went OFF. After 200 miles, it's still OFF. My non-mechanical opinion - when your tire pressure is whack - the light comes on because: 

- if one tire lacks pressure, then yes, it's wheel speed will be different, because if it's losing air, then it's going to have more rotations in a given time than the non-leaking tires.

- it's not that the car is warming up, and making the light go off - it's that the tires are warming up and swelling, thus making the pressure imbalance less significant

-cruise control will be whack because all/some of the tires differ in air pressure so it's difficult to calibrate.

Disclaimer - I could be WAYYYYY off. I just like to analyze things. I'm just glad the light went off.

On this Easter holiday - let's all remember this sweet Man here: He loves us. And that's certainly somethin to be happy about.

Also, I don't know what Rascal Flatts' intention was when they created this song, but it always makes me think of Jesus:

Happy Easter friends.