put away your phone, and stop bein greedy

hello sugar lumps, 

hope y'all are havin a magical time with friends and/or family.

remember the real spirit of this season.

it's not about stuff.

it's not about complaining.

it's not about rushing around and camping out to get cheap shit.
it's not about pouting because you didn't get the lastest iphone - and it's not about sitting on your phone/ipad/whatever when you have the chance to spend time with your family.

suck it up, think about what you truly have to be grateful for.

some people are pained with the memory of a lost loved one.

some are ill.

some are overseas so we can have our freedom.
 some are lost - in drug addiction, in alcoholism.

some are going through divorce.

some have no family.
some are lonely in a house full of people.

some are hungry.

some are cold.

so even if so-and-so gets on your nerves, or you don't like your inlaws, or you don't get along with your sister, or so-and-so's thanksgiving meal is not up to your standards, there is still something tons to thank God for.

i saw this post over at raven's recently, and thought i'd share, because
i agree.

__________________

But The Greatest Of These Is Love

It's the holidays, and everywhere I look in my personal life, I see so much love, family, support, kindness and so much good. My kids are happy and healthy and they will have a Christmas filled with all the aforementioned and presents. We didn't go all out this year, in fact we kept their gift giving pretty small, but the fact is, unlike so many other children, my kids will have something to open. So many kids will have nothing this Christmas. 

 

And that breaks. my. heart.

 

So many people won't have anyone to spend the holidays with. They will be home alone on Thanksgiving, eating solo at a diner or standing in line at a homeless shelter. We may pass these people every day and not know it. They could be the person in front of us in traffic, driving too slow, too fast, maybe taking a few extra seconds to realize the light in front of them turned green, so if we could all think about that before angrily honking our horn or driving by and shaking our finger at them. They could be the person who bumps into us in a crowded store and makes us drop all our gifts we were taking to the register. Before yelling at them to "watch where you're going," we could instead smile and say "pardon me." A little kid who is acting up at the childs play area could very well be a little kid who won't see a single present this Christmas and won't get a chance to sit on Santa's lap. We should remember that, and not be quick to judge or act in anger or frustration. 

 

I think this holiday season we should go even further then that. To not just stand back and stop ourselves from acting in anger, but to reach out more. Say hello and smile more to strangers we pass, offer to return someones cart in the grocery parking lot, pay for the persons order behind us at the Starbucks drive-thru, hold the door open for someone even if they are just far enough away that you could let it close behind you.

 

To extend grace. 

 

To realize that maybe, just maybe, the person who seems like they deserve it the least, need love and compassion the most. Actions are powerful, yes, but words are paramount. Watch your words. You never know what it could mean to someone. I can tell you there have been very specific times in my life, that I remember vividly like it happened yesterday, where I was completely overwhelmed, felt like I wanted to curl up in ball and cry myself into oblivion, when a complete stranger said something to me, reached out and said something. They didn't have to, but they did. It may have been simple to them, but it meant the world to me. There are people out there who feel like no one in this world cares about them, and as someone who has no idea what that feels like, I don't want to contribute to that feeling for anyone. It literally hurts my heart to think of the deep, deep pain and loneliness that others feel (except murderers and child molesters, I hope they burn in hell. Just had to throw that one out there) and I think we as human beings have a responsibility to be good people. To build others up and not tear them down. 

 

It's important.

 

Because as one very wise person once said, BE KIND. FOR EVERYONE YOU MEET IS FIGHTING A HARD BATTLE.

__________________

see? wasn't that awesome? thanks, Raven, for letting  me share! 

enjoy your time with your own shugpies ...
and say thanks ...

 

Why Do I Blog? and other current thoughts

How deep and philosophical. 

Psych.

But seriously, I don't really remember why I started blogging. I didn't have any devastating life change going on that I needed to tell the world about. I wasn't making anything that everyone needed to know about. The best I can think is I love to talk, and blogging is talking via keyboard. I literally feel sometimes like I have so much junk in my head (to do lists, creative project ideas, snarks, this-is-so-amazing-I-have-to-tell-people-so-they-can-try-it's, etc, etc, etc,) that I just started writing I guess. 

It's also like a virtual scrapbook. You can make it look pretty and document memories and how you were feeling about anything at anytime ... and there it is, all stored away via the internet.

But, then, you start to realize, people know who you are, and you pay attention to who is reading because they comment or tell you, "I love your blog!" (And that feels wonderful to hear.)

But along with that, comes pressure. Should I say this? Will I get fired? Who will read this and take it the wrong way and get their feelings hurt? Or get pissed off? on and on and on ...

Then, of course, you can't help but wonder, "How do people make money at this?" Well, obviously that is not my reason to continue blogging. Although, I do love you, 33 followers! xoxoxo!!

But, it's nice to get comments that people know exactly where you're coming from. Or if you could just write one post that makes people feel like they aren't the only one who feels that way. Or sharing a recipe that someone fell in love with. Basically writing anything that people can identify with makes you feel like writing that post was worthwhile. At least that's how I feel.

Although no one wants to read about someone whining 24-7, I know I appreciate you bloggers out there who tell the truth. Clearly, you can't reveal your entire life's circumstances because we have to protect our privacy - and that of others. Sometimes I'd love to write about things just to get it off my chest, but I can't. Because along with telling my own business, which I don't care who knows it, I would also be telling the business of other people involved. People I love.

So, today, friends, I am in a funk sort of a mood. My patience is being tested. I don't get why things are the way they are. I wonder if God is showing me that I made the wrong choice. I wonder if there is a such thing as being 100% certain of the decisions you make. But, I will be fine. I will have my mini pity party and then I will stop and look at all I have to be thankful for, and I will remember that GOD IS IN CONTROL. HIS PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MINE. And this is true for us all, NO MATTER THE SITUATION.

Thanks,  Pinterest 

I'm thankful for these ...

Andrew * my endocrinologist * health insurance * the people I work for and with * Brody * good music * blogging (and it's free!) * pumpkin spice lattes * NC State * MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS * people who love me * people for me to love * acupuncture * when I pray for God to show me how to be thankful/grateful/patient/hopeful, He does * the Raleigh Flea Market * being creative * 

short and random ... there are hundreds of millions of others, clearly ... 

Hope everyone has a fabulous day.

xo,

Girrrrrrl, you need a hug?

I should warn you, today's post is a novel, but sometimes our thoughts and feelings aren't summed up in something that's conducive to a neat and tidy blog post.

Isn't it fun bein a girl? Sometimes. But, sometimes it sucks. I know I for one, have times when I feel nothing but blessed. Like God has given me more than I EVER deserved. And my mind KNOWS this is true, regardless of how I'm FEELING. But, on the real, feeling so much all the time is exhausting, is it not? Because sometimes I feel the opposite - self-pity, depression, jealousy, discontentment, irritable towards those who love me the most.

I read these two posts today from Life on the Rox and Mommy Teaches, and it made me wanna write about life's struggles when you are a girl. I'm not saying men don't have their struggles. But, as women, we feel a different sort of pressure, and the sad thing is, I think most of that pressure comes from other women. Do they make us feel that way, or do we do it to ourselves? The crap that goes on in my mind from one week to the next is a complete 180 and it's EXHAUSTING sometimes. I feel like I'm two or three different people.

It seems that in life, there are certain categories, as a woman  ... school/job, relationships, kids, beauty/self worth, finances ... and while it is impossible to be perfect in all these categories, we damn sure try. But, what's worse to me, is that I know I personally, struggle to appreciate the areas where I am blessed because I am not doing super awesome in the other areas.

I have an amazing husband, for example, so I feel incredibly blessed in this aspect. Everyday, I'm like, "Why do I deserve him?" BUT - on the other extreme, I'd certainly like to have a happy little life in a happy little house where we see each other everyday like normal folks. And, I get tired of dealing with diabetes. I think, I'm sick of skinny bitches whining about 10 lbs. when they can workout whenever they want with no thought to plummeting blood sugars or sky high sugars from turning your insulin down too low, all while worrying what long-term damage you're doing to your body with those sugars. Or people who can just decide to have kids whenever they want. I realize this is a warped view. But that's my point, your perception is your reality, so if I believe that crap, it will take over my brain in a matter of seconds. But then, I immediately feel guilty because I am in good health, all things considered, with health insurance, and resources at my fingertips to help me control it.

I get SO SICK of looking at posts about people's brand new $50,000+ car, or their daily posts of outfits, which cost hundreds of dollars. Then, again, I immediately feel like a  bitch because obviously, I must be afflicted by some degree of jealousy for it to make me sick, right? I get SICK of hearing women WHINE about how their husband doesn't make enough money, and generally nitpicking EVERY EVER LOVING THING HE DOES. Well, why the hell did you marry him if you have so many gripes about his existence? STFU! 

And I know kids are a handful, but you women who WHINE about their kids ALL. THE. TIME ... Guess what? YOU HAVE SOME. Some women can't! Again, STFU! And while we're on that note, STOP asking people, "When are y'all gonna have kids?" 1) maybe they aren't ready 2) maybe they can't 3) maybe it ain't NONE of YO business

I think it's extremely important, at every age, to maintain close ties with other women. Real friends. Friends who aren't toxic. Friends who make you see your self-worth, not the kind who remind you how fattening that brownie is, or tell you how you need to handle your marriage, job, kids because you aren't doing it right. Women who don't try to fix it for you, they just listen. Let's be honest, some stuff only the man upstairs can fix. Your friend just needs a shoulder to cry on. Men get this. Women struggle with it, myself included. We just want to fix, fix, fix. Shhhh! Just listen. Clearly, if you want advice, and you ask for it, that's what friends are for. But you beezies out there who just give it without being asked, I don't ask you because I clearly don't want my life to look like yours. So thanks very much fo keepin yo mouth SHUT.

 I don't care how much you love your husband, kids, home, job, etc. YOU HAVE TO HAVE TIME WITH FRIENDS OR YOU WILL LOSE YO MIND! There is nothing sicker than the feeling of being eaten alive with jealousy of what your friends have. Friends that you really do love, but you just feel like they have it all, regardless of the reality. And it's easy to do when you don't maintain contact because slowly, as you drift apart, it starts to seem like your friend has it all, because you're not close anymore and you don't know the whole story because they don't feel comfortable telling you anymore. 

I don't have kids yet. I pray the Lord chooses to bless us with children one day, but I worry a lot about how to raise girls especially, to love themselves, and to love others. Jealousy and depression are like besties. And they creep up everywhere. And it starts young. I see girls who are 8 years old forming cliques and judging each other based on what they wear and what they look like. LITTLE GIRLS YOUNGER THAN TEN WHO DON'T EAT LUNCH BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO GET FAT.


I don't really know what my point is with today's post to be honest with y'all, but how do we find the balance? How do we accept what we have? Not only accept it, but be grateful? How do we have genuine happiness for friends without feeling sorry for ourselves because we don't have what they have? Where does this all start? Is it how we are raised? Is it how we are socialized in this country? Why is it so easy to feel like shit about yourself because you can't go out and buy a Range Rover and a Louis Vuitton on a whim? Why are we jealous of women who stay at home with their kids, but then criticize them for wanting to do so? And there are others of us who do the same thing with women who choose to have a career. Why is it any of our business?! Why do we feel like a loser because all of our friends are married and we haven't met Mr. Wonderful? Why are we behind because we haven't bought a house and our friends have? Why do we feel like we should have kids because our friends do? What is up with that? Why do we feel like our choices in life are the wrong ones because they don't match what our friends have done? And for that matter, how do we take a time out to realize what our friends might be going through? And that they might need us? We are trained to put on a smile, squeeze into a size too small and pretend like everything is AWESOME. Maybe I think too much ...

I've had a hard last few years. I wonder if God has me in time out or something. Like I am just spinning in neutral. I don't wanna get on here and whine about it, but what I'm saying is, what is happy? Are there women out there who are happy? I can't name one of my female friends who doesn't go through this cycle of everything is great, then, my life sucks so much, I just don't think I can handle it. So, it's more common than we think. But, in bloggie land, and on facebook, and twitter, it's more PC to talk about how awesome everything is all the time. We don't wanna be the one who is struggling, or can't handle her problems. I know I for one, feel worse when I write about it, because when I write about it I focus on it, so I think that's why I don't write about it. And, honestly, if I write about things that do make me happy, it actually works to make me feel better. But on the other hand, I think it needs to be said that nobody's life is perfect. It's okay to need help, to struggle, to need to bitch or cry.

The only thing I know is that I have to trust that God knows what He's doing. And I just pray for Him to show me how many things I have to be grateful for. And it works, but I have to keep praying. It's not a one time fixes all kinda deal.

To all my ladies, I love you. The trips to dinner once in a blue moon, or outing to target, or just a text from you or a comment on my blog MAKE MY DAY! For that, I am blessed and thankful.

Hang in there shugs!

Any thoughts on how you find gratitude and keep on keepin on?

Go find a friend and give her a hug. She prolly needs it, even if she doesn't say so.