Diabeetus loves OJ ... A.A.F.

G'day Sugar Lumps!

I hope y'all slept well last night. And all the nights before that in the last week or so because I have not been sleeping, my friends. 

No, I been gettin up every mornin at approximately 2:19 am to have an 'OJ with a side of PB' party in my kitchen.

You see, I have gotten my sensor addicted to this apparently. So now, every night, homegirl starts beeeeeepin and hollerin to get up and play because my blood sugar is low.

*If you are new to these parts and are wonderin, WTH?, you should know, I have the dia-bee-tus.

But, if I ignore her, she starts to vibrate and it sounds like a texting extravaganza goin on beneath the sheets with all the beepin two or three different ways and the vibratin, and then, I begin to dream weird dreams as a result of said strange noises and vibrations, and because my blood sugar is low. I dream of eating food that is gross, like sweaty cheese that's been sitting out on a party tray in the heat a few hours too long.

I try to be sneaky and use the handy feature on my pump where I silence all the alerts. But, this just means that when I finally do wake up, I am so low that I am about half out of my head and trying not to fall down the stairs to the kitchen. 

But I figure, hey, long as I'm up, why not take pics so I can blog about it? Because I just lay there for eva waitin to fall back asleep anyway.

***

Here is my pump. Bless her sweet little heart. She enjoys beeping, vibrating and delivering insulin to my body since my pancreas said no thanks. Sometimes I like to call her Peggy. She does all the beepin and nonsense because my sensor tells her to. But the sensor is inserted into my fat and I ain't hateful enough to make y'all look at a picture of that.

Why don't I just adjust the insulin so I don't stay low all the time, you might be wondering. Well, I say you are clearly simple minded and don't know very much about diabetes.  If only it were that simple. Hormone fluctuation plays a HUGE role in how my body reacts to insulin, so it's forever changing. And even if it weren't a hormone thing, I can't just be makin adjustments willy nilly. I have to wait and see if there is a pattern to it, over the course of days, or if it was just a fluke - too much insulin at supper, too much activity, not enough carbs with the insulin, etc.

And the best part is, since hormones play a role, when you are a girl, it's waaaaaay more complicated because of the lovely dreaded menstrual cycle. Such a dirty game she plays. Week one - low, so I adjust down. Weeks 2 and 3, increased estrogen levels = insulin resistance = need more insulin, so I increase every couple days as needed, and week 4 = sky high = need lots of extra insulin. Then, it starts all over. Thankfully, my handy lil pump has a feature where I can increase the basal (insulin that's delivered in the "background" 24 hrs/day) by a percentage. I totally depend on it.

 But I am learning that said increases are too much at night.

New plan: increase basals, but not as much, but also give extra bolus insulin (insulin with food) to help prevent night time/2 am/4am/5am lows. The thing about diabetes, for me, is that you never really get it "figured out". Your body is always changing. It's an ongoing experiment. But, I am SO THANKFUL for how far we've come in dia-bee-tus land. The technology is amazing. The Lord is so lookin out for me.

Sometimes I worry that hubs feels inconvenienced by the wife's diabeetus, and the gadgets, and the disruptions to his sleep, etc -  poor thing:

Nevermind.

Now, aren't you glad you learned somethin?

This is why I'm hooked on DD coffee for caffeine consumption so I can function - the whipped cream part is just because I like it. 

;)

6.8 Baby! Who's ya Mama?

You know what one of the best feelings ever is? 

No? 

Well, I'll tell you. 

One of the best feelings ever is when:

*checking your blood ~7x/day

*adjusting pump settings accordingly

*changing pump sites every three days

*trouble shooting pump errors

*inserting a sensor every 6 days

*trouble shooting sensor errors

*feeling the pump and sensor lump in your belly/butt/side when you sleep at night

*$ out the yin yang for pump supplies, meter supplies, insulin and dr. visits

*having unsightly lumps/bruises/red marks in your belly/back/butt from the pump and sensor

*waking up in the middle of the night with low blood sugars but using that data to adjust pump settings

*feeling nauseous, dehydrated and generally like shiz from high blood sugars

*having people stare at you and wonder what you're doing with a "pager" that makes beeping noises all day

*taking extra time in security at the airport to explain all of said medical madness

*giving up all products containing flour of any sort and beer

all add up to: 

Big ups to:

 who I know, is ultimately in control, and who lead me to Dr. Holt

 greatest endocrinologist ever, 
and Jennifer Spain, 

 greatest acupuncturist ever.

Gracias to my family and hubs too for always being so encouraging and supportive!

Thanks y'all! 

I'm tryin to tell y'all that ain't nothin like this happened to Shug in Boots since she was like 10 before any sort of hormonal madness happened and gluten reallllly started to wreak havoc apparently ... plus all those times as a teen when I just did not EVEN care. Anyway, point is - this ain't happened in FO-EVAAAAAA!!!!

Groundbreakin, suga bees!!!

I was surprised to learn that it's pretty common for Type I's to have gluten allergies. Giving up gluten has changed my liiiiiiiiife, y'all! Totally blown away. 

If you are afflicted with the dia-bee-tus, or know someone who is - these are the main things that I've found to be awesome:

1) try not to eat more than 30g carbs at one sitting

2) drink lots of water (and if you can't help yourself, at least avoid caffeine)

3) NatureMade vitamin diabetes vitamin packs Just look how awesome this chick's life is as a result:

4) take an omega-3 supplement

5) and for me, eliminating gluten made my blood sugars much easier to manage, got rid of back pain in the kidney area that I've had for YEARS, got rid of unexplained knee pain I've had for YEARS (I used to not be able to even bend that guy, now - bend away!), hormone regulation, MY HAIR QUIT FALLING OUT AND NEW HAIR IS GROWING IN ITS PLACE!!!, annnnd, I don't get up to pee 3 times a night. Matter of fact - I don't get up at alllll!!!! 

Can y'all believe that?!?!

Time to Get Up Out, Snotty!

So, friends, since we are friends, let's share. 

Here's how I been livin' the last ... ohhh....two and a half weeks:

Nothin' hotter than hearin your wife get up in the mornin, snort snot to the back of her throat then work realllly hard to get it to come back up. 

Yes, that's gross, I know. But, I thought we were friends.

So, after lots and lots and lots of Mucinex D and fake Zyrtek and tons and tons of water, I decided to go in when my blood sugars started to spike (= infection). 

I called at 8:37 am, and lil shugpie receptionist said, "Can you be here at 9 honey?"

9, like pretty much 20 mins from now? Like, I just woke up? Like, I have short hair that spikes and shows my crown when I wake up, no make up, no breakfast, lookin like death warmed over, 9?

Yeah. I'll look scurry, but I can be there. 

While I waited, I stared at this lovely artwork. I think my granddaddy had one a lot like it at his house in 1983 that had already been hangin there for 10 years.

 Finally, doc comes in. 

What're your symptoms? 

Feel like there's cotton in every cavity I got in my head.

I cough up dark greenish brown stuff in the mornin. 

I'm cold and I'm never cold.

I ask my husband to massage my face.

I want to grind my teeth together.

My ears pop randomly.

I can't breathe unless I stay on Mucinex D 24/7. (NOT recommended, friends!)

Doc said my problem was, I shoulda been smokin Camels.

Just kiddin.

He said I had a cold that morphed into a sinus infection.

Y'all know how my sinuses do.

Evil. Straight evil.

So, off I go to CVS havin had no shower, no makeup, no breakfast, and wait for all this mess:

Yes, the good news is, after the doctor visit, and 3 prescriptions, I got a $1.50 coupon for CVS - ON ANYTHING I CHOOSE.
Can y'all believe that luck?!

Ha.

So, let's all cross our fingers for this little guy and his friends:

For they, my friends are the antibiotics who will go into my body and eat up all the infectious snotty that lives inside my head - as well as all the other bacteria in my body.

But, y'all, I'm tryin to get my vacay on in the next few days, and I ain't EVEN TRYIN to allow my sinuses to ruin my life.

So, as a reward to myself, for enduring such sufferin - I had me one of these babies.

Now I'm goin to bathe. And apply make up to my face so I don't scare any innocent children or embarrass my husband when I meet him for lunch. I'm also gonna dry my hair with an actual hair dryer. 

Now, ain't that somethin? 

Y'all have a snot-free .... what day is this? Wednesday?

Love,
SIB

Sweet Fizzy Sugary Heaven

I haven't had a diet drink since Saturday. 

That's FIVE DAYS.

I haven't really thought about them. 

Not a lot. 

I mean, sometimes at night, I start to imagine the taste. The fizziness. I can just hear the pop of the top. 

Or sometimes, I think about it a lot at about 1:00. Break time. 

But then, my friend at work reminded me that diet drinks triple the risk of pancreatic cancer. 

And that's enough. Enough to make me focus on something else. 

But - you've gotta let yourself cheat a little. 

Or you'll implode. 

So today, at approximately 3:25, I sent an errand boy to fetch this for me:

Yes. 

It was everything I dreamed it'd be. 

Nothin like the real thing.

And I felt zero guilt.


 

Anti-Gluten/Food Diary Update

 Y'all.

I cannot believe this -

but my blood sugars are so going down. Being diabetic isn't all fun and games in the first place, clearly. But, it is EXTRA aggravatin when you start to become INSULIN RESISTANT! Ugh! Anyway, my blood sugars are going down! Rejoice! Ahhh! Hallelujah! OmGeeeee!!!!!! This further proves that the foods/bevies/supplements (lack thereof) that we put into our bodies MATTERS. A LOT! 

Anyway, I'm friggin' stoked about this. Know how in my last post (umm, which can also be found conveniently below until this gets archived) I was talkin about how I am in love with acupuncture and my girl, Jennifer encouraged me to keep a food diary and eliminate gluten to see if it helped with numerous issues I'm having?

Welp - I'm on day 5.

And, (since y'all are prolly dyin to know) I have, as a matter of fact, been keepin up with my food diary, oh yes indeeeeeed:

Yes - I may have had deviled eggs and popcorn for breakfast for the first few days - then I switched to some spicy, gluten free soup. I have never been one to discriminate against foods based on what time of day it is. And, I love some cold soup right out the fridge.

I'll spare y'all the other details of the happenings in my body that I have also been recording. But seriously - I highly recommend doing a food diary - there are a zillion reasons to - it helps you really "see" what's going on - allergies, weight loss, mood changes, you name it. 

Honestly - the no gluten thing hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. I automatically feel better knowing that eliminating gluten has helped me to quit consuming so much junk in the first place - cookies, cake, muffins, packaged/processed foods, etc - It feels awesome to be proactive. I just cannot get over what's happening with my blood sugars! Next goal - no more diet drinks - if I HAVE to have a "drink" - I will try to make it one of these: 

I hope everyone is havin a splendid weekend so far! 

A Healthier Beef

So, those of you who know me know about my appointments. My reason for needing to sneak out at 3:55. The fix I need to be able to keep on going. The thing that keeps me from cussin my diabetes - among other things - from here to Hades. 

Here she is:

Jennifer at Ancient Elements Acupuncture

I've blogged about acupuncture before here, and I've been very pleased. Acupuncture is the bomb because it acknowledges that all things in your body are linked, as to where Western medicine often treats the symptom or the physical ailment, acupuncture looks for the root of the cause - the why. Having had diabetes for almost 23 years, I am very interested in doing as much as I can for my body now while I am (fairly) young, and in identifying the root of the ailments I have so I can make dietary and lifestyle changes to prevent them. I have never, until now, felt that someone has addressed me as a WHOLE PERSON and all aspects of my health - stress, diabetes, allergies, hormones, muscle pains, dehydration, you name it. She talks to me about all of it and we work on a piece of it at each visit.

Here's the latest ...

At first, I wasn't going to write about this for the following reasons: 

1) No one will read it/care.

2) Close-minded people might think I'm weird.

3) I feel lazy. 

But then, I decided I have more reasons in favor of writing about this, including, but not limited to the following:

1) I need to quit caring so much what people think. 

2) Writing about this might make me more accountable to my health. 

3) Maybe someone will read this and be inspired to try acupuncture. 

Okay, so actually, I came up with three reasons for both, but I think my reasons for writing are better than my reasons for not writing. If you think it is weird/you don't give a crap, it is your lucky day. We live in a free country, and there is a red and white "X" at the top right that will allow you to escape from this page. 

So, now...let's get started: 

I have been feelin QUITE stressed lately with myself. Primarily my hormones (evil snots) and my diabetes - whose goal in life is to PISS ME OFF - with such measures as: the harder I try to take care of it, the more it acts CRAY-ZYYYYY, the more insulin I give, the higher the blood sugars, the healthier foods I eat, the more she wanna get smart wit me! These things are especially difficult for me because I am a  

perfectionist. 

control. 

freak. 

I am NOT doing well with just havin my diabetes just hand me this $hi* and expect me to just deal. You can bite me Lil Miss Dia-bee-tus. Yes - I feel that with all the 'tude and drama and unpredictability, dia-bee-tus MUST be female, and I have no qualms in sayin so. I believe that my dia-bee-tus and my hormones get together late at night while I am sleepin and cook up plans to get at me, all while sending ANNOYYYYYYING alert messages to my pump EVERY. TWO. HOURS. which WAKE ME UP OUTTA MY SLEEP. They concoct plans such as:

* Hey - every two weeks lets just throw a wrench in there. Let's wait for her blood sugars to get pretty dang near perfect - you know - just so she thinks she's on to somethin good. Then, 

Wha - Bammm! 

 Ha! I'd like to see her try to control those blood sugars now! Psych! Nice try! Hehehe! Try again! *evil laughter coming from my hormones and dia-bee-tus*

I have had it wit dem beezies!

Do y'all hear me?!?!

Anyhoo ... 

acupuncture ...

So, here's the positive aspect of this blog post - yep - there is one, turns out. So, as a part of mine and Jennifer's plan (I don't know care if that is grammatically correct) - we decided that I most def need to get back to takin these. See, they are a lil expensive in my opinion, so I always wait *** time out - I am being RUDELY interrupted by my pump as we speak: ***

Anywayyyyyyyy - 

Like I was sayin, I normally wait for these babies to go BOGO at Walgreen's to save some scrilla which translates into umm, I haven't taken these in over six months (kept missin the sale obviously). But- a lot of my diabetes/hormone/insulin resistance whackness can be aided by takin these:

Dear Diabetic frands - if you are out there - GO BUY SOME OF THESE. Newsflash: Your regular endocrinologist (though I must say, I do love mine dearly) prolly ain't gonna grab you by the collar and demand you go get these. They are just in the vitamin aisle with all the other vitamins but they help with sooooooooo many things that insulin alone simply ain't gone do. The end. Things like your circulation, eye sight, metabolism of carbs and fat, hormonal balance and so many other things. The body is a system as a whole. There is no way diabetes is only going to affect the amount of sugar in your blood. Please. Go. Go now. Get some of these vitamins. You will be glad you did! You will feel so much better and keep things from fallin apart on down the road. Think of it like regular oil changes and maintenance for your car - except your body and long term health are so much more important. 

Okay - next: 

Jennifer also suggested seeing if gluten might be having a negative affect regarding inflammation in my body. I STAY jacked up with sinus problems and back and knee pain, and I do notice it gets worse at times when I've had a good ole dose of gluten. 

So my assignment, should I choose to accept it (which I did, duh) is this: 

Get ready for it. 

NO GLUTEN FOR TWO WEEKS. 

NO REALLY, LIKE NONE:

Adios, packaged foods:

Yes - even my beloved Nabs. 

Even my quick-my-blood-sugar-is-low-and-these-don't-have-to-be-refrigerated snacks:

Anything on God's earth with bread in it:

Here's the good news:


Chinese medicine does believe in the health benefits of red meat (and potatoes don't have gluten, THANK YOU JESUS).

* Disclaimer - duh, the bread still has gluten, I'll just not eat that. Also, Chinese medicine does not advocate for the health benefits of fried items soaked in grease and the damaging effects of soft drinks - especially diet ones - aka POISON. However, when one is super badly cravin red meat, it's prolly cause it's my one's body cryin out to me one for more iron and nutrients for my one's blood. Right, Jennifer? :)

So, Jennifer suggested I do a journal - of foods, blood sugars, whack hormonal episodes/urges to smack people/cry, energy level, etc. to see if we can nail down the "Is it gluten?" answer.

I told her - "Jennifer, I am neurotic about keeping data in any form. If I do it - it will just have to be color coded - it's just too much - sugars, moods, foods, sleeping habits, energy, etc. I will not be able to live with myself having all that information down without some sort of colorful, fun organization to motivate me."

Well, clearly it is meant to be because just this morning I found these on my desk:

Thank you, Cori Lyn for these bomb-diggity writing utensils that I LOVVVVVVVE. (I swear, if people bought me Papermate Flair pens and Nature Made Diabetes Vitamin packs for holidays I'd be a happy woman).

Also, I have a certain "planner" type book in mind that has LOTS of space to write for each day of the week - lots and lots and lots of writing space. ;)

Anyhoo - please pray for me frands. I love bread. And I get sick of tracking and keeping data as it is. But, I know this will be so beneficial. Also, if it is gluten, and I give up beer and bread, I am BOUND to lose weight right? Yeah, I know. I can't substitute the lack of bread with more fries and fried up red meat. Duh. I know that.

Just keep ya faingahs crossed. And if you see me snackin on ANYTHING packaged, or containing bread, or drinkin a beer - you have my permission to get smart wit me, run up and smack it out of my hand and say somethin like, "What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you insane?! Jennifer is going to be so disappointed! I don't even know who you are anymore. You disgust me!" etc etc etc

I will begin journaling ---

tomorrow.

Wish me luck! ;)

I'll get skinny & start givin a ---- tmr.

If you like random, it's your lucky day. 

If you don't - you can't have your cake & eat it too. <---- What a stupid phrase. WHY do you want cake if you can't eat it? Stupid. 

Let me try again - if you don't like random, then read another blog. That's about it. And here's what else. I don't even know if I'm gonna use enough give a flip to put pictures in. But maybe I will. I ain't decided. So WHAT?!?

{ONE}

First of all - I am TIRED. But ---

I drank a wholllllllllllle lot of Diet Coke. (Jennifer - if you are reading this, please block this out of your mind. I know it's TERRIBLE for the adrenals, but I NEEDED it. Promise.) 

I had lots of Diet Coke because I was at the movies and I can't go to the movies without a giant DC and a medium popcorn. (Unless I'm with Anj because he reminds me how RIDIC the prices are). Anyway, the movie was funny and full of the gross parts of middle school that you blocked out for a reason. Also - the "annoying" character was almost so annoying it just stressed you out even more than it made you laugh. I hate that. Oh - maybe you'd like to know the name of the movie. It was Bad Teacher.  (Yep - I underlined it. How grammatically on top of things I am.) Normally, I find the way Cameron Diaz's lips move MEGA ANNOYING. And I hate the way she laughs. But in this movie, she was dry and sarcastic and unenthusiastic. So, I could get down with it. Also, I felt vaguely inspired to rim my eyes in black eyeliner to make my eyes pop. But then I thought - I don't have blue eyes - they are hazel. Also, I can't imagine not looking like a hooker. And the hooker look isn't cute on me. I wouldn't terribly mind havin Cameron Diaz's body - but I clearly don't want to give up eating whatever I want whenever I want. Also, I don't want to work out at the current moment. Fingers crossed this'll change. The movies are always good for enjoyin popcorn and trashtastic diet soft drinks and then all through the movie, lookin at skinny hot actresses who are like 45 and thinkin, I'll get hot tomorrow. But, for now, I'ma eat this popcorn.

Added disclaimer: If you think Justin Timberlake is hot - you may change your mind after this movie. Especially the "bedroom scene on the field trip". You're welcome. Don't say I didn't warn you. 

{TWO}

Also - I decided 28 does feel a lot older than 27. And what's worse - 29 is next. BUT - I'm thankful for everyday God gives me. I also decided late 20's is whack when you feel you've accomplished not much. I married my other half. Fo realz. I ain't just sayin that to be cutesy pooh because I don't even enjoy sap-ness. And, I'd like to think I've left some sort of positive mark on at least one kid. But, we don't own property. We don't EVEN live in the same town. We ain't got any kids. My diabetes is totally wild and uncontrolled. I feel so random. For those of you reading who have any sort of thought on this - please - do share. Not so much complaining - I just feel kinda random. Should I feel like I've done more than merely exist by this point? Also, I feel chunky and like suddenly my skin sucks. I need a vacay from myself, I think. Anyone know a good travel agent?

{THREE}

On a positive note - I am excited about Jason Aldean. Pumped. I'm wearin cowboy boots with shorts. I don't care if it's trashy. It's a Jason Aldean concert. Also, I'm psyched about a special tshirt. Mad props to Anj Davis for thinkin it up. I'll show you after it's finished. IF it doesn't suck. I might wear it anyway. Although I'm not sure if it'll top my "I LOVE TWITTY" shirt. Amazing what people born in the 80's and who go to NC STATE DON'T know about Twitty. Seriously?!? Get your mind out of the gutter frands. 

That's all I got for now. Have a fabulous night shug pies. 

xo

Beef

Bionic Beef

For those of you who didn't know, I've had the dia-bee-tus since age 5 ... wayyy back in the kindergarten. I was constantly thirsty and constantly peeing and whiny and feeling yucky all the time, and getting skinnier and skinnier and skinnier but was eating plenty. So, Mama took me to the doctor, and I remember them telling my Mama that I had diabetes and that they wanted to send me to Duke. I heard the "die" syllable and was panic-stricken. I asked the nurse, "Am I gonna die?" Nope! So, then came my glorious 1 week stay at Duke Hospital while they figured me out. 

The first several years weren't too bad because as a child of elementary age, my hormones were pretty stable and the diabetes was easily controlled with only a couple shots a day (which I was giving to myself pretty quickly - Tracy coming at you with a needle - no thanks.) JUST KIDDING MAMA! Love you! 

But rest assured, the cure was right around the corner. Well, that was October 1988, and we still have no such cure. BUT since then, we've come a lonnnnnnnnnng way, baby! 

I got my insulin pump about four years ago. It's pretty  -------- I just had to stop because my pump made a sound I've never heard before ------------ anyway, the pump is pretty baller. Check it out below: 

No, this is not my perfectly flat and smooth-skinned stomach. I love how none of these "pump models" have skin irritation form the super-glue-like adhesive tape. And, duh, I would never want a pepto-pink pump. Mine is "smoke".

So, the idea is: the pump is like this insane computer, basically. Normal people make insulin which is a hormone that helps your body to use the glucose that comes from the food you eat. Without insulin, the glucose can't get into your cells and your body is essentially starving. So, previously, I would take shots with my food and in the morning, and lots of diabetics take shots a lot more than that, but I hated it because:

1) I eat allllllllllll the time, and I hated having to whoop out a syringe and shoot up insulin like 10 times a day, sometimes in public.

2) It's too much mess to have to tote around.

3) Who wants to stab themselves with a needle 70 times a week?

So, the pump has the insulin in it, and you program it (everyone's body/rates are different) to give you "background" insulin or basals 24 hrs/day and you also program it to have certain insulin-to-carb ratios for when you eat. For example, most people need more insulin with breakfast than with lunch. Most people's blood sugar randomly spikes around 2 or 3 am. So, you program the pump to deal with it. It was a pain to get used to, but now, I hope and pray I never have to go back to shots. It is AMAZING and SO LIBERATING!!!

When people stare, I just smile back or my husband likes to call me a "surgeon on call". Right. :)

Below is a photo of some stud muffin wearin' his pump. He must not have wanted a pink pump either.

But I see he did not pass up the pinkish-purple shirt. Whatever floats your boat, you know?

Every 3 days, you have to fill the reservoir (see below) with insulin and put it in your pump and change the tubing and cannula (the stuff that makes up your "pump site") and you're good to go in a few minutes. This is something else people love to gawk at - something the size of a nipple inserted into your stomach or back fat while you're on the beach, and I'm like, "Duuuuuuude! I CAN SEE you staring. Just ask what you wanna know!"

Anyway, I decided that to add to my technologically-advanced-ness, I should get the Continuous Glucose Monitoring System (CGM) to further aid me in my fight against dia-bee-tus. I wanted to look weirdly happy about life like the chick below driving the boat while her husband gazes at her in utter admiration:

Please note the last picture at the bottom right of the box - the chick's sensor is sending a visible "signal" to her pump. This trips me out. Like it's some orb. But anyway, it does communicate wirelessly.

So, this is my "smoke" colored pump and the new addition is the thing at the top right that looks like a seashell hooked to some plastic-y stuff. The plastic-y stuff is the sensor, and the "seashell" is the transmitter that sends the blood sugars wirelessly to my pump. The sensor will check my blood sugar every few minutes for a total of 288 times/day. I am getting teary-eyed just thinking how far diabetes has come. Jesus is so taking care of me. Thanks Jesus! I really appreciate it!

So, after having my endocrinologist work with Medtronic (the pump/sensor peeps)...Medtronic worked with my insurance (after a brief clear up about my name of course)...and it arrived in the mail!!!!! Hooray! Yippey!!!

This girl's sensor told her she could eat this humonnnngous slice of carrot cake! (Technically she can, as long as she knows how many carrrrrrrrbs!) Don't judge!

So, today, after a lovely lunch in the park with my mama, and a giant u-turn on a 4 lane road in front of my dr's office, where Anj's truck took a tiiiiiiiny bite out of a curb (can't wait to get Sylvia back), I pulled in to get my sensor-train on.

Enter Janna, the awesome nurse/medtronic trainer. She was wearing a super cute dress, some wedges and had a delicious wedding ring. Turns out her 13-year-old son is diabetic, so poor fella has been used as a guinea pig so mama can get her pump/sensor demos down pat. Cool thing is, she wears the pumps/sensors herself sometimes so she better knows what she's talkin about when she trains peeps like me.
We went over how it works - mess was a tad complicated, I ain't gone lie. You have to calibrate it, but not at times when you just exercised, or just ate, or just took insulin. I had to learn what all these strange alerts mean, and understand how the sensor works with the pump and what all the readings mean and on and on an on.

But, the worst part was.........the SENSERTER. There is a little gizmo which shoots the sensor/needle into your body (but only at a 45-60 degree angle or there could be blood and tissue damage - eww!). I was gettin' a little nervous at this point.

See below:

POW!!! in it went.

Whew! Honestly, once it was in, it wasn't that bad. Then, you gotta be really careful pulling out this plastic thingie and then pulling the sen-serter away from the insertion or you will rip that piece right on back out and have to start over. No thanks.

So, now, I am fully hooked up and hearing lots of strange beeps and questions that I've never seen before pop up on my pump screen. I have mess taped to both sides of my belly, which is why I am.......

.....................

........................................


* Bionic Beef *


Here's how it's working in my interstitial tissue:

I hated science when I was in school. But I sure am glad some super smart fellas and chicas worked this magic for all of us who have been afflicted by the dia-bee-tus!


Here's the next magical part: I can plug in this USB and sit my pump beside it and they will do their creepy, "Hey, let's wirelessly communicate!"
"Okay, that sounds great!"
"Super - please send me the blood sugar trends so B can tell her Dr. and they can get her a1c to be off tha chain!"
"Sweet! Here they are!"
"Thanks!"
"Fo sho. Anytime!"

And, after that magical conversation, my dr. can log into my account and print out all sorts of smart mathematical information about what the deuce my body is doing with my food, my insulin, my exercise and when:

Annnnnnnnnnd, the lil joker even predicts when you're going to have a low blood sugar or a high one because it has some faincy-smainshy algorithm that determines that your blood is dropping or rising at too fast of a rate.


Get.

Outta.

Here.

With.

That.

Mess.

Are you serious?! Thank you: Jesus, Dr. Holt, Medtronic, super smart scientists who learned how to make all these gadgets, and my mama who made me do everything "by the book" growing up so I was disciplined enough to realize the seriousness of it and to know that it doesn't have to ruin my life - as long as I take care of it, and the hubs for still thinking I'm hot with all my 'devices' and always being willing to help take care of me.  <3

                                           

                                                                                                                Love, 

                                                                                                                     Bionic Beef

Rock & Roll or Ryyyyyyyyyyyye. Go away Snotty!

The lovely array of bulb syringes, giant bottle of steroid/saline nasal irrigation compound, mini bottle of nasal emollient and 30 cc measuring cup are how I've been livin' since last Friday, Feb. 4th. Sooo....in the last blog, when Andrew and I had a magical Raleighwood Sunday....yeah, the madness started that night. So, I go to the dr. tell him all about my sinus funk, crackling sound in my ear, snot factory madness the Friday after that - 5 days later. After a hearing test (left ear's just fine), two vials of blood drawn, and a lovely chat about how kids will ruin your health...off to the compounding center I went to get the nasal irrigation made. This involves me putting the little cupful (30 cc's) in my nose twice a day and then blowing it all back out. It's real attractive. You know it's love when your husband watches you and hands you another tissue to blow it out and helps you drop in it your nose while you lay with your head hanging off the edge of the bed. At this point - there was no infection. Yay!

The following Tuesday night....9 days into the madness - the fever/chills start. Great. I try the flu/severe cold concoction above - psych! Did NOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The coughing is gettin' started up real good by now. During one of my classes, I was coughing so hard I had to get up and walk around the room. I had to grab a kids shoulder making the "please get out of the way before I choke motion" - "Mrs. Davis! Are you okay?! Do we need to get somebody?" Ugh. So...I realize I have some of this cough syrup left over from last summer when I got a respiratory infection which lasted for 2 weeks and I nearly coughed myself to death...like 2 hrs sleep/night coughing. I had to sleep downstairs on the couch sitting up and Andrew could still hear me coughing all night up stairs. It was ridic. So....neither of us could get the dang top off - soooooooooooo Anj broke out the knife.

This is how we stored what was left.

The doctor calls back - thank God - they called in some antibiotics for me. This is how it went:

Me: Hellloooooooooo (sounding like death's doorstep)

Nurse: Well, Beeeeeth .... Honey you sound like a Frawwwwwwwwwg! Well, we got somethin called in for ya.

Me: Thanks. I appreciate it.

Nurse: You poor thannnng. Bless your heart.

Also, an undisclosed source recommended this:

She said to get Rock & Rye - it's a bourbon with fruit in the bottom. Take you a shot 2 - 3x/day. Especially when you wake up and before you go to bed. It'll break up the phlegm (gross word) which is causin the nasty cough. NOTE: This only works for those paiiiiiiiiiiiinful coughs that feel like your throat splits open and bleeds when you cough. She made no mention of honey ( 1 of the 3 main ingredients in the regular "homemade cough syrup") I don't think the point of this is to soothe - it's just supposed to crack that mess up so you can hock it up. Bleck! PS - I HATE taking shots! Gross! Gross! Gross! But I did it anyway. AFTER going to two ABC stores b/c apparently it's normal around these parts for people to open their store whenever the heck they feel like it - regardless (not irregardless) of what the hours say ON THE DOOR!

My husband found this fascinating -

1) it was recommended by name

2) he'd never heard of it

3) there's a lemon in it

4) he googled it at work to get his learn on - (he loves doing that) - he read that the 'rock' comes from the fact that it is made from dissolved rock candy.

Hmm....may ought to check my blood later for hidden suggggarrrrrrrrrrrrrsssss.

There - I did it. I added A LOT of lemon juice to the shot glass before I drank it. Afterwards, I felt motivated enough to go shower. My husband will be excited. My intestines are just now starting to not burn.

Also, I just sneezed and it felt AWESOME!

Oh - I also learned that I am allergic to cats, dogs and dust mites. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Maybe I'll feel good enough later to vacuum up some dust mites. Lil bastards. Where are dust mites? Do they live everywhere?

Don't Be Scurred, It's just a little needle - or 20.

Image from The-Pet-Haven.blogspot.com

Ahh, Corporate America - meetings, deadlines, blisters from your "Omg, they're so cute!" heels, and..... daily mini heart attacks. Livin' the cube-life dream! I decided that heart palpitations, nightmares, crazy blood sugars and actually waking up to a sore chest from sheer tightness the day before might be a reason for action. I decided to piss on our Western Civilization way of living and stressin' in general and venture out to see what our Eastern friends have to say about it. I decided to get my needle on. No, I'm not talkin' anything illegal. I'm talkin.......ACUPUNCTURE. My mom's the one who convinced me to go - she swears by it. At first, I was like, What the deuce? You know, this could be super weird and I mean, who knows, really? But, I was damn tired of the madness. So, my mama set up my appointment, I printed the paperwork and filled out the 5 page questionnaire. I arrived in eager anticipation of what magical things lie ahead. I expected to walk into some place that smelled like Whole Foods and incense. Kinda.

I walked in and was greeted by a very friendly young woman with wavy brown hair. Looked normal. No fear yet. We walked into the other room and sat down to discuss my questionnaire. Every tiny thing that was bothering me - from my hellish recurring snake nightmares to my right foot always cramping to the feeling that someone reached into my chest and squeezed as hard as they could all during the week - my digestive habits, my hair, my energy level...you know, all the stuff your "real" doctor doesn't care to know about. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my endocrinologist (whattup 6.9 a1c?!), but doctors who care to know about all the "little things" that they can't slap a diagnosis on and write you out a pill for it - are few and far between. If you have one of those doctors, hang on tight and hope they don't retire before you die. Anyhoo - I was totally excited because in our conversation, my acupuncturist started to ask me if I was having other symptoms that I hadn't even thought to mention. Who knew floaters in your eyes (at age 27 that are there ALL. THE. TIME.) could be related to your kidneys?!?! Well, yeah! Wow! And I was instantly at ease, and she asked lots of details - what time of day do you feel like this, what sort of things appear in your nightmares? Do you feel like this after you eat this, etc, etc, etc.

So, after discussing all of my symptoms, she explained that all of the symptoms pointed to certain organ systems. The goal of Chinese medicine is to balance your body's yin and yang (pronounced yong, not yang ;) ). My verdict: my kidney yang is runnin amuck while my yin is napping.

The first visit, after she checked my pulses (yes, there are six, not just one, like at your "reglar docter"). I lay on my stomach on what looks like a massage table (complete with the little cut out hole for your head). She inserted needles into several places on my bare back. Yeah, it "hurts" for a second - like getting pinched. But once the needles are in, they're in and you don't really feel it. She explained what she was doing every step along the way, and left me to relax, with a heat lamp and some relaxing music (duh, it was Chinese but no words). She came back about 20 minutes or so later, removed the needles and checked my pulses again. This is how she tells how my body is reacting to the treatment and if it's working. The treatments work for about three days after the visit. Not bad for the first time. 

The next time was a little more hard core. We still started off talking about how my week was going, and if I'd noticed any changes with the mile long list of crap that was bothering me. Guess what?! No snake nightmares all week. Still a few weird dreams, but not nightmares. Guess what else?! I didn't get up to pee in the middle of the night (which makes the nightmares worse - I'm tellin you, my brain is WHAACK). For me, this was cause for celebration. I haven't slept all the way through the night since I was like 8. This time, we did needles in all kindsa crazy places - two in my forehead, a few in my wrists, below my ankles, near my toes, in my shin - all over the place. But, again, so dang relaxed I could hardly roll myself outta there. I highly recommend!

I know I might sound like a full blown kook right now, but I am here to tell you, I am HOOKED. I leave up out of that place so relaxed that I feel like me and Sylvia just float on home, bless her hearrrrrrt! She suggests certain foods to eat/avoid based on what your needs are, as well as recommending certain herbs. And, it's not just for relaxation - she can help with anything you'd make a "regular" medical appointment for - PMS, addictions, allergies, you name it. Hey - if I ain't having panic 24-7 and feelin' like the snakes are gonna kill me along with all my other randomness, BRANG IT ON ANCIENT CHINESE MEDICINE. HIT ME UP WITH THE NEEDLE, SHUG!